A (n encouraging, I hope!) message to anyone who is a manager of others

[sandbetweenyourtoes]

I have a health condition which means I need regular time off work for appointments etc (on average maybe 1 hour per week). I don't like having to ask for this time off and sometimes feel guilty, but ultimately I recognise that it is part of looking after myself and that it helps me to stay healthy and in work.

Of course a natural result of having to take time off is that I have to be in regular communication with my managers to organise this. This week I asked for a meeting with them due to a change with my appointments. I was quite nervous due to, as I say, feeling guilt about asking for time off and missing work etc. I shouldn't have worried though because they couldn't have been more supportive or flexible with me. They told me that my health was the most important thing and to take whatever time I needed for it and that I'm doing very well with my work.

Just wanted to encourage any of you who are managers that it is ok to have a supportive approach with employees. It doesn't make me want to chance my arm or think that my managers are a soft touch. It makes me feel supported and released to do my best work. In fact it encourages me to want to do my best work because the people responsible for managing me trust me enough to allow me to take whatever I need and to know I won't take advantage. It makes me feel like they're in my corner and it is really appreciated.

Obviously my example is very health condition-specific, but the general principle is that it matters to employees to feel that their manager is on their side, trusts them and wants to work with them in whatever way they need to help them do their best. In a previous job my experience with my manager there was not good at all, and it honestly has been such a welcome change in this role to have my managers' support.

Managers are just normal people. I am one and I've never understood the notion that the minute we get appointed that we dupposely lose all sense of human empathy.

I really couldn't care less what hours people work once they get the job done. I don't care if people need to take an hour here and there for personal reasons (just take it, it's not a big deal). If there's an issue, let me know and we'll deal with it. I know that once you treat people fairly, they give the same back to you and even more.

It's a job title, not a personality transplant. The vast majority just want to get on with their job and hope the team does too.

I hope you experience is the norm, not the exception.

@ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees

Thanks, you're right.

It's just that I had a very bad experience in my previous job with a manager who was the total opposite of supportive. She humiliated me in front of others because I made a mistake in something I'd never done before and hadn't been fully trained in, when she could have quietly redirected me and suggested how to do it better. On another occasion she asked me to do something and when I didn't have it done yet 30 seconds later, she huffed and rolled her eyes, in front of me, but not directly "at" me if that makes sense. As if to say "oh these idiots I have to deal with". There was no humanity and no flexibility or willingness to support you with anything.

And also there's just the (needless) guilt I carry about 'inconveniencing' people due to having a health condition and requiring extra effort from them in terms of providing adjustments for me etc.

So even though it shouldn't be, it's just a shock when people, and managers, are kind and want to go out of their way to help. It's appreciated.

I have a mental health condition. Was honest with my new employers. Have been supported with time off, time off for appointments. I keep them updated if I’m having a wobble. Knowing I have support makes my mental health so much easier to manage, and makes me more productive.