To want to go to a pub without LOUD, sweary men?

[Tobleroner]

Hi,

I'm sure there will be those who say it's a free country and that I am being unreasonable, but honestly, I'm just sick of going out for a drink and wanting to leave shortly after arriving. It doesn't even seem to matter which pub anymore. You used to know which pubs to avoid if you wanted a quieter, more chilled evening, but I guess arseholes can be anywhere....or everywhere now apparently.

Took my teen dd for lunch this afternoon, somewhere which on the surface is a really lovely, friendly, village pub, so assumed we'd be OK, but straight away I could tell that we were going to want to rush lunch and get out of there asap.

I'm not offended by swearing and it's not like I never swear, but it's the sheer volume and aggressive and intimidating tone. Then there's the misogynistic chat on top of that, getting louder and louder. The stuff that was coming out of their mouths was disgusting. I didn't want my dd hearing it. I've noticed this happening more and more and it really pisses me off. I resent feeling that uncomfortable that I end up actually leaving.

So is it just me or is this becoming more common?

I’m giving out thanks like a good un

I think anywhere that serves alcohol runs this risk to an extent but if you try to pick a pub where the focus is on food then it’s less likely to be a problem.

I live in a nice village, there’s 2 pubs and one only has about 5 bar stools or the beer garden for drinkers, the rest of the pub is more about food. It’s always fine.

On paper the other is nicer, nicer decor, better (pricier) menu but caters much more to drinkers…and that’s where you find the sweary leary men.

Would just like to ask, those of you who are suggesting I'm not built for pubs and should stay at home with a book and a warm blanket, are you honestly saying the kind of behaviour I'm describing would not be an issue for you and you expect it?

No of course not. I'm hypocritical because I can be potty mouthed myself, but it's not so much the swearing that I object to, it's the loud, shouty, aggressive swearing that stops me hearing the conversation I'm actually in.

I've never experienced this

Maybe stop going to scummy places that attract scummy men

I love my local pub with sweary low brow humour going on. Honestly I'd find it funny and join in if someone tried to throw icecubes down my top.

A pub is an adult environment. I act a different way in a pub than I do at work/kids parties/cinema etc. I think you need your blankets sorry OP.

I didn’t laugh at the ice cubes

I'm not sure what you're expecting from a pub. People aren't going to walk on egg shells around you.

Well, if it's a place where blokes are still throwing ice cubes at women's cleavage, then I really have to question the dive this was in. That doesn't happen in your average pub.

With regards to swearing in public - there is a difference between saying 'bloody hell' if you drop something and the onslaught of aggressive language I am hearing more and more. Had some workmen doing something in the street a few weeks ago. 8am. The language was actually shocking. I am not prissy, but there are a lot of kids in the neighbourhood, we are near 4 schools and it was top volume. I went out to tell them to stop but as soon as they saw me they stopped. So they obviously realized it was out of line.

I think pubs are an adult space - that’s how I was always brought up to view them anyway. I was your stereotypical “pub kid” so maybe I’ve got some child/adult authority views attached to it - but I also think it depends what type pub you visit. If it’s a gastropub then I’d be shocked to hear loud sweary types but in a typical “working man’s” pub then it’s to be expected maybe.

The dreadful ice cube throwing louts were in Spoons btw. Not exactly a class establishment but I would still expect better especially as we hadn't been acknowledged the men.

Ah, that makes sense 😊

I was going to post the same thing :)

I remember when I was younger reading that some places banned hen parties but not stag parties because the hen parties were so much worse.