Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To chill and watch tv after school?

51 replies

naughtybutnicee · 04/10/2023 14:21

I have 2 children, age 3 so in nursery end age 5 so in year 1. 3yo is nursery all day

My aibu is, am I naughty for allowing tv after school? Older one doesn't get homework only to read so we get home at 4 and they tend to watch tv until 6 thrn have dinner and wind down for the evening before bath bed

Sometimes I feel like a terrible parent for not doing much after school but then again I'm pretty sure I did the same just watched tv unless any homework

Weekends I try to do something at least one of the days so last one just gone we went out for soft play so I try to arrange stuff to do weekends and holidays but lots of tv after school

Am I awful? Or do others do the same

OP posts:
Dessertinthedesert · 04/10/2023 16:24

I’m going against the grain here. I think TV is fine but not a solid 2 hours a day.

prescribingmum · 04/10/2023 16:27

Nothing wrong with a bit of TV to unwind but I would not have it on for 2 consecutive hours on a regular basis - that is a rare treat when watching a movie. It would be 20 mins or so then playing/entertaining themselves another way

IHeartGeneHunt · 04/10/2023 16:31

Right now we're watching Bluey, eating microwave popcorn and playing with the stamper set, DD is in her pyjamas.
When she's not at school we do things. We go to museums and different parks and the city farm etc. After school she's knackered. I don't see anything wrong with a bit of telly and a calm down.

readingmakesmehappy · 04/10/2023 16:35

A bit of TV is fine but is that 2 solid hours? That's quite a lot.

Mumof1andacat · 04/10/2023 16:44

That's what I always did at home from school and I'm nearly 40. Children's bbc and citv back in the day

Lizardonachair · 04/10/2023 16:44

I was born in the 80s and to be honest that's all I remember doing after school (except when we had activities) I'm a completely normal adult now with hobbies and a good job. Kids need downtime.

AnneLovesGilbert · 04/10/2023 16:46

I’m all for down time but there are plenty of ways to do that without tv. When do they play? Just make up games and use their imaginations?

Bagpuss2022 · 04/10/2023 16:50

It never did my two now adult sons any harm both now well adjusted and good careers for their ages.
DD never really was into tv apart from a a frozen obsession from about 3-4 she’s now 13 had activities most evenings and I can honestly say she never watches tv.
We allow ourselves as adults to chill so why can’t they maybe get them into a club or Lego etc a few afternoons but crack on

YawningCat · 04/10/2023 16:55

Marblessolveeverything · 04/10/2023 16:08

I found when the tv went on all creative play went out the door. So we went cold turkey - and only had it on Monday and Friday afterschool and weekends.

At that age mine where outside playing - building dens/running around a little/ or if the weather wasn't great they were making something or playing with some sort of transformer/turtle/lego etc.

They tended to have one out of school activity a couple of times a week so that broke it up also. Honestly, I found it a struggle - I was working as well but I know they were better off having the creative play. Then when I needed the TV - it was a bit of a novelty.

Do what works but I would consider the reduction in imaginative play as it can help them developmentally, socially and their well being.

That’s not cold turkey 😂

Marblessolveeverything · 04/10/2023 17:13

sorry @YawningCat I should have said we went cold turkey for a few months then I eh kind of retreated for my sanity.:-)

Stressfordays · 04/10/2023 17:22

Mine pretty much do whatever they fancy when we get home if there's no clubs/football/playdates. As long as homework is done, I'm not fussed. Sometimes they play outside, watch TV, play, game... Theyre 11, 7 and 5.

Today my 7 year old is at a play date, my 11 year old (secondary school) has a friend over and they've gone to play football and my 5 year old is watching Netflix. I think because I don't 'direct' them, they naturally vary what they do.

fuckssaaaaake · 04/10/2023 23:22

whatever works for you. We do 30 mins tv then play or go out then dinner; bath bed. My best friend does what you do and I don't judge. My only comment is that I would be bored which is why I go and do stuff but I watched tv after school all night when I was a kid and I turned out ok ish

Lavenderblume · 04/10/2023 23:24

I think it's absolutely fine but not every single day. It's good if they still have time to chill out in other ways like playing with toys or doing drawings etc.

StrongandNorthern · 04/10/2023 23:25

You're not awful.
It's fine.

GreenTurtle75 · 06/10/2023 11:39

Mine (3, in preschool nursery) watches TV after, and sometimes before, if he wakes up early. We always get out at the weekends too, so I think it’s a balance. I do try to play with him for at least 20 minutes a day, so he’s getting full engagement from me, but sometimes I feel so wiped that we both just crash on the sofa for an hour. That said, I think TV is fine if you want them occupied while doing chores. And TV is better than YouTube on a tablet.

ClassicCremeAnglaise · 06/10/2023 11:46

2 hours of tv a day sounds a bit much to me, mine have clubs or go out to spend some energy, then watch a bit of tv for a little while, then potter around in their bedroom.

They don't get that much exercise at school (and mine walk to school!), they need to run around or cycle, swim, or kick a ball or something,

ManateeFair · 06/10/2023 14:14

mindkessly consuming a screen

Watching television isn't 'mindlessly consuming a screen', though. It's engaging with stories and characters, seeing new things that are different from their own lives and probably learning something from it one way or another.

Things aren't automatically bad just because they appear on a screen. There is so much mad nonsense spouted about 'screens' on Mumsnet.

ClassicCremeAnglaise · 06/10/2023 14:23

You can google the many many studies showing the detrimental effect on brain development and how watching tv is the worst activity, or lack of activity, children could do.

I don't know if that very drawing is genuine, but it sums up very well detailed studies that have been published

To chill and watch tv after school?
goodkidsmaadhouse · 06/10/2023 14:32

Dessertinthedesert · 04/10/2023 16:24

I’m going against the grain here. I think TV is fine but not a solid 2 hours a day.

I’m with you. Especially at those ages. It’s a lot. The 3yo will likely be playing all day at nursery but the 5yo won’t be… there’s so little play, outside time and active time at school.

BarnacleBeasley · 06/10/2023 14:39

Like PPs my age, pretty sure that's what I did after primary school in the 80s, unless we had something else on. We might have had our tea a bit earlier though I think. I'm now an adult who reads books, does sport and watches about 1 hour of TV a week if that.

ClassicCremeAnglaise · 06/10/2023 14:44

BarnacleBeasley · 06/10/2023 14:39

Like PPs my age, pretty sure that's what I did after primary school in the 80s, unless we had something else on. We might have had our tea a bit earlier though I think. I'm now an adult who reads books, does sport and watches about 1 hour of TV a week if that.

I have a very different experience, we were outside, we had playdates, we had clubs. We were not allowed to watch much tv during the week, if at all.

BarnacleBeasley · 06/10/2023 14:49

@ClassicCremeAnglaise I was really responding to a couple of posters upthread who are about my age. We probably played outside in summer, and sometimes went to other kids' houses but not often - we called this 'going to X's house for tea' rather than playdates, and it often involved writing each other little invitations! But my playing outside memories are all blurred into one, whereas I do have quite strong memories of the kids' programmes we watched. My mum used to police these though as she wasn't letting us watch anything she couldn't sit through herself. I definitely didn't have clubs aged 5.

MrsMontyDon2020 · 06/10/2023 14:59

My 3 year old has just started doing full days and she is SO TIRED so she can have chill out time in front of the tv under a blanket with a snack when she gets in. It's only for an hour until tea is ready.

We are a "low screen house", so no iPads, and previously the only screen time was family movie time at the weekend, but we tried colouring, jigsaws, books...even swimming etc and it was just way too stimulating to be honest, whereas she's very calm watching the tv and doesn't have to "think" about anything.

ClassicCremeAnglaise · 06/10/2023 15:32

BarnacleBeasley · 06/10/2023 14:49

@ClassicCremeAnglaise I was really responding to a couple of posters upthread who are about my age. We probably played outside in summer, and sometimes went to other kids' houses but not often - we called this 'going to X's house for tea' rather than playdates, and it often involved writing each other little invitations! But my playing outside memories are all blurred into one, whereas I do have quite strong memories of the kids' programmes we watched. My mum used to police these though as she wasn't letting us watch anything she couldn't sit through herself. I definitely didn't have clubs aged 5.

I did! I have photos on me in a tutu and looking very uncomfortable on a (tiny) horse 😂

I was really proud of my tutus

Nevermind31 · 06/10/2023 15:56

I think 2 hours every day is a bit much, and it also creates a habit.
I’d probably introduce an activity such as swimming, go to the park during nicer weather, maybe have a play date?
a bit of telly to chill, then some play? Sure