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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a cleaner that will pick my clothes up off the floor?

770 replies

Zamphina · 03/10/2023 22:19

Dp and I work very long hours during the week. We’re out of the house 9-10 minimum. We eat dinner in the office. When we get home we’re exhausted and just want to sleep. So often the kitchen has our breakfast stuff. We’ve left clothes on the floor. There might be sunday’s dishes on the table. The laundry has been left out drying.

We earn an OK salary and have a tiny flat to save money, so a cleaner coming 2-3 times a week for two hours a time won’t be an issue.

But obviously I’m slightly embarrassed for someone to see my home in such a mess. Are there any cleaners who will sort all of this? Pick up the clothes, put them on to wash, load the dishwasher, and clean the bathroom etc?

OP posts:
00100001 · 04/10/2023 12:06

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 04/10/2023 11:21

Yes but working 15 hours a day is unnecessary and insane
Also leaves you time to pick your clothes off the floor

Who are you to say it’s unnecessary?
If I’ve guessed correctly what kind of job OP is in, it tends to be really, really intense for a few years at a junior level, then becomes more manageable as you get more senior. And you reap the financial rewards of having put the hours in when you were junior.

Then other people get jealous of your salary even though they were never willing to work those hours on the basis that it was ‘unnecessary and insane’.

But sure, go around telling women to limit their financial prospects so that they can focus more on housework.

Money isn't everything.

who wants to be permanently exhausted and stressed and not having time to spend with their loved ones and enjoying life??? There's more to life than work.

Cockmigrant · 04/10/2023 12:15

You might be able to find a cleaner who is willing to do all of those things, but frankly I think it's absolutely ridiculous that you can't just put your clothes in a laundry basket. Why do they have to go on the floor in the first place? It takes seconds and you have them in your hand when you take them off so they can be put somewhere appropriate and not just dropped.
I also think Sunday's dishes being left out is ridiculous too. Just rinse them off and put them in the dishwasher.
If you really are too tired/have no time to do those very simple, easy, life things, then you should look for a different job because it's going to end up making you ill if it's that bad.

Lilibert456 · 04/10/2023 12:20

Haven't read the whole thread but you can't be happy living in such a mess. You just need to be more organized and a lot less lazy.

HoneycrispApple · 04/10/2023 12:26

This thread is outrageous - op is continually called lazy, even though she works a crazy amount of hours per day.

also the constant mention of dirty knickers on the floor! I just can’t with MN sometimes.

LolaSmiles · 04/10/2023 12:33

This thread is outrageous - op is continually called lazy, even though she works a crazy amount of hours per day.
Because it IS lazy. It doesn't mean nobody does it, but it is lazy.

If I have clothes on the floor or a floordrobe, it's because I've been lazy.

If other posters have a floordrobe, it's because they've been lazy.

If OP and DP would rather dump their clothes than put them away or in the wash basket, it's laziness.

I think part of the reason OP is getting pulled up is that there's an implication in their posts that them and DP are far too busy being amazing high fliers that they can't help dumping clothes on the floor, and therefore there's a reason why they can't use a washing basket. That's what's rubbed people up the wrong way.

If OP and her partner would rather pay someone than spend 10 seconds putting clothes in a laundry hamper, they can find someone who offers that service. It's still quite lazy to think "I could put my washing in the wash basket, but I'm going to choose to throw them on the floor instead"

AnnaTortoiseshell · 04/10/2023 12:37

This is a bit grim. You just leave your dishes on the table?

Fightyouforthatpie · 04/10/2023 12:37

YABU my cleaners clean the house, they don't tidy up and I'd regard it as a waste of money to pay them to do stuff I can easily do.

HongKongGarden · 04/10/2023 12:37

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 04/10/2023 11:21

Yes but working 15 hours a day is unnecessary and insane
Also leaves you time to pick your clothes off the floor

Who are you to say it’s unnecessary?
If I’ve guessed correctly what kind of job OP is in, it tends to be really, really intense for a few years at a junior level, then becomes more manageable as you get more senior. And you reap the financial rewards of having put the hours in when you were junior.

Then other people get jealous of your salary even though they were never willing to work those hours on the basis that it was ‘unnecessary and insane’.

But sure, go around telling women to limit their financial prospects so that they can focus more on housework.

Would you feel the same if she was too busy to flush the toilet?

It takes no more time to drop clothes in a basket than it does to drop them in the floor.

HongKongGarden · 04/10/2023 12:38

HoneycrispApple · 04/10/2023 12:26

This thread is outrageous - op is continually called lazy, even though she works a crazy amount of hours per day.

also the constant mention of dirty knickers on the floor! I just can’t with MN sometimes.

But she’s explicitly posted about leaving her dirty knickers on the floor all week.

Hbh17 · 04/10/2023 12:48

My cleaner does washing and ironing, at our request (but not bedding, as I take that to the laundry). But we never leave clothes on the floor, and wouldn't expect her to pick them up. She just takes stuff out of the linen basket to wash. The house is always tidy so that she can actually clean, which is what we pay her to do.

user1471556818 · 04/10/2023 13:04

Just seems as easy to have a laundry basket to throw then into

Daffodilsandtuplips · 04/10/2023 13:06

Seems like op and her partner are still in student mindset. I know a firm that does end of tenancy cleans for letting agents, they do student lets. Some of them are left in an absolutely disgusting state by the students. I’m not talking about a bit of dust or not hoovering for a week. Think bathrooms never cleaned, showers never cleaned, one shower looked like the tiles were brown, it was fake tan, sink drains never cleaned, windows never opened, causing mould, fridges with rotting food piles of unwashed pots and pans left everywhere. Vomit treaded into carpets etc. etc. If you ever hear of a parent complaining about a landlord withholding a bond or charging extra for a deep clean after their offspring has left this will be the reason why.

carly2803 · 04/10/2023 13:08

I used to do cleaning once upon a time , i did pick up and move stuff but never tidied as i wasnt paid for long enough

be honest - pay more - they will tidy stuff up!

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 04/10/2023 13:10

Money isn't everything.

who wants to be permanently exhausted and stressed and not having time to spend with their loved ones and enjoying life??? There's more to life than work.

That’s YOUR outlook.

Some people enjoy earning money. Also, some people choose to put the hard work in early in their careers so that, for example, they have the freedom to afford to be SAHMs when they have children, or to go part time, or to take a less stressful job, or to take sabbaticals, or retire early. Money buys you choices.

Just because you wouldn’t want to do it doesn’t make it objectively wrong, just as it isn’t wrong for you to have whatever work/life balance you pursue. But hopefully you realise it means you don’t get to be jealous of people who’ve put the hours in when they make more money than you down the line.

LolaSmiles · 04/10/2023 14:23

Daffodilsandtuplips
One of my friends does work for student rentals and the call outs he gets are hilarious.
What amazes me is how much stuff gets left behind, some of it in good condition that's worth something and it ends up being cleared in house clearance and end of tenancy cleans.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 04/10/2023 15:08

LolaSmiles · 04/10/2023 14:23

Daffodilsandtuplips
One of my friends does work for student rentals and the call outs he gets are hilarious.
What amazes me is how much stuff gets left behind, some of it in good condition that's worth something and it ends up being cleared in house clearance and end of tenancy cleans.

Yes, they’ve come across some good stuff left behind, decent pan sets, crockery, household goods etc, the landlords let them keep what they want usually and get rid of the rest. They take before and after photos for the landlords to prove how bad the place was in case of any disputes with the tenants.

OlafLovesOlives · 04/10/2023 15:21

00100001 · 04/10/2023 10:06

yes, she has a dangerous job, good for her. Noone is saying she can't be tired. But dangerous work/long hours isn't the same as being a parent.

Is she 3 and half years and going into sleep deprivation all the while being told by society she's doing a shit job and could do better? All whilst she runs the household, takes on the mental load and goes to work all day on top of having to get 2 or 3 dependant humans up, dressed, fed and washed and where they need to be on any given day?

Edited
Show quote history

Parents do not have have a monoply on exhaustion.

Lemonyfuckit · 04/10/2023 15:49

OP - I assume you're trainee solicitors or some such, and to an extent I get it, I'm a transactional lawyer and work similar hours. It sounds like you're both a bit overwhelmed with work and so things are getting on top of you.

Little and often is the key, ie don't drop your clothes on the floor, put them in the laundry basket. Put your dishes in the dishwasher once you've finished them. Even with those hours it should be perfectly possible to clear up Sunday night's dishes on Sunday night and not leave them into the week.

Fine to have laundry on the drying rack when the cleaner comes around but I think it's a bit much to expect them to put clothes away etc (unless you get a housekeeper). I struggle to understand how two adults, no children, out of the house all day Monday - Friday and eating all meals in the office would need a cleaner 2-3 times per week for a couple of hours at a time? - as I said I work similar hours myself, and my cleaner comes once a week (four bedroom house) for 1.5 hrs and that's more than enough to keep it spotless - we do tidy up after ourselves as we go though.

Droppit · 04/10/2023 15:55

I can't believe people are saying the OP is lazy when they work such long hours. I dread to think what state my flat would be in if I worked like that.

Kudos to you for working so hard. I couldn't do it.

category12 · 04/10/2023 15:58

Droppit · 04/10/2023 15:55

I can't believe people are saying the OP is lazy when they work such long hours. I dread to think what state my flat would be in if I worked like that.

Kudos to you for working so hard. I couldn't do it.

It's lazy not to just put your dirty clothes in a basket. You can have one in your bedroom or bathroom or both. You're taking clothes off, you shove 'em in the basket, it takes seconds.

Unusualactualname · 04/10/2023 15:58

Aren't you worried about spiders crawling into your clothes??

MrsHughesPinny · 04/10/2023 16:02

Some of these answers are silly about the hours the OP works.

It’s perfectly normal for newly qualified corporate lawyers, investment bankers, junior doctors, political advisors, ad agency account managers, management consultants etc to work these kinds of hours. I often work 12 hour days and I’m almost 20 years into my career.

Usually, it’s only for the first 5-10 years of your career, you benefit later. People get into these lines of work because they love it.

ThreeRingCircus · 04/10/2023 16:05

OP, as others have said you need a housekeeper not a cleaner.

Our cleaner does not tidy as we pay her to clean, so we make sure the place is tidy before she comes but if you find a housekeeper and are clear about what you need from them then that should be fine.

Don't throw your clothes on the floor though. Get a laundry basket and throw them in there.

Newusernameforthiss · 04/10/2023 16:49

Our cleaner does this. I love her. The dishes more than leaving the clothes on the floor (come on I'm a total slattern and even I can put the clothes in the basket). We tip her a LOT.

Glittertwins · 04/10/2023 16:51

Not sure why OP can't just put stuff in the laundry basket or dishes in the dishwasher as they go. It takes no longer to do than drop where you stand!
I can empty a packed dishwasher in 5 minutes so it's not exactly a hardship to do that at a weekend if you're loading it gradually throughout the week