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Original poster

I’ve upset my hairdresser I think

35 replies

theresamooseloose · 03/10/2023 19:30

Second-guessing myself here, I’m just wondering if I’ve done something very rude or not?!

Earlier this year, I started having my hair done at the salon in my village. It’s a small salon with a couple of stylists, one of whom is the salon owner . Hub of village gossip type place.

It’s a nice place and both the times I have been, for a cut and colour, the owner did my hair and made me feel very welcome.

On both visits, I’ve been really pleased with with the outcome of my colour, However, the cut was very average. I mean it was fine, nothing actually wrong with it, but just not quite how I hoped it would look.

I was due to go back again, and I thought this time I’d ask for something a bit different with the cut, but recently I met up with a friend and she had just had her hair done, and it looked so lovely, I asked her which salon she went to. I decided to go there, and I had my hair cut. I’m over the moon with it, it’s just what I had wished for.

However, this salon is significantly more expensive than the one in my village, so I’ve decided to stick with the new place for my cut, and the village salon for my colour.

So, booked in for my colour - well - just my roots this time - and went along today for that.

When I walked in, the owner looked up at me, and smiled, and then her face instantly changed when she realised that I’ve had my haircut elsewhere (total restyle, so very obvious). Her demeanour towards me was very different than the last couple of times..
she was very off with me, said “ I see you’ve had your hair cut already then?” And hardly spoke to me during the appointment..
this was a very different experience to previous appointments, and by the time I came out, I felt very anxious.

I’m not quite sure what I’ve done wrong. Should I have told her when I phoned up to book in for my roots, that I’d already had the cut done elsewhere?

I don’t understand the issue, the other salon is around 10 miles away, in a local town, so it’s not even like they are a direct competitor to our little village salon.

Anyone?!

OP posts:
Zone2NorthLondon · 03/10/2023 21:56

The issue is obviously competition from other salon,clients going elsewhere for services is revenue lost. I wouldn’t expect a for profit business to be gracious about other salon great cut whilst they do your colour. However, I’d expect the owner to paste on a smile (fake or not) and graciously maintain your custom. You are of course at liberty to use both salons and frankly if you’re happy with the results why not

BrightGreenMoonBuggy · 03/10/2023 21:56

Look, it’s your hair! If she can’t do it the way you want then she’s being ridiculous to sulk because someone else can! I wouldn’t give it any more thought. I’d just move hairdressers.

EpitomeofEpiphany · 03/10/2023 21:58

Her reaction was very unprofessional

awaitingroom · 03/10/2023 21:59

I've done this before, the hairdresser who cuts my hair can't do the colour I like but she doesn't have an issue with it, or at least I can't tell if she does. She should be glad of your custom for the colour

TheresaBouvey · 03/10/2023 22:02

Yeah this is how it works with hair dressers

i could not book my usual hair dresser last summer as she was on holiday. Do I went to a different salon

now I can never go back to my original hair dresser

it’s an unwritten rule.

the time before, when I was in this situation, when I went back to my original hair dresser they just spent the entire time tutting and saying how uneven it had been cut…

do that’s how I learned

they are a very sensitive profession

Mistressanne · 03/10/2023 22:03

Well that’s why the other salon is dearer, cutting is the mark of a good hairstylist and the village hairdresser knows this. She probably also thinks your hair looks much better and may be a bit embarrassed.
I got so fed up of bad haircuts that I cut my own hair roughly into the style I wanted and then booked a hairstylist and told her to keep the shape but obviously tidy up my mess.
I now have someone who ‘gets’ what I want for the first time in years.

CharlotteStreetW1 · 03/10/2023 22:05

I don’t understand the issue, the other salon is around 10 miles away, in a local town, so it’s not even like they are a direct competitor to our little village salon.

Well they are because you've gone there instead of the village salon.

NutellaNut · 03/10/2023 22:10

You’re entitled to get your hair cut where you want, YANBU. If the hairdresser is going to be arsey about it, get your colour done somewhere else too!

mnahmnah · 03/10/2023 22:11

She’s taken it as an insult to her hair cutting skills that you went elsewhere rather than have her cut it again

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 03/10/2023 22:11

Truly pathetic from the salon owner, but that’s how things are. It’s either total loyalty or nothing. Like a marriage, based on hair.

Funkyslippers · 03/10/2023 22:15

TheresaBouvey of course you can go back to your original hairdresser. Just say she was on holiday and you needed your hair done

MrsDanversChickenSandwich · 03/10/2023 22:16

Some hairdressers can be weirdly territorial about their clients' barnets. It's an oddity of the profession. Just say 'Sorry, Amanda, but your cutting skills just aren't up to snuff'. Or 'it's my hair, Amanda, not yours, so chill out'. Or don't. But ignore her nonsense and if she gives you any grief tell her there's more money in the colouring of hair than the cutting so she's getting the better part of your custom.

But yes, they can be very odd.

mistermagpie · 03/10/2023 22:16

I mean, she was probably a bit miffed because you went elsewhere but that was because she couldn't do what you wanted. That's on her, not you.

I do this too by the way. The woman who does my colour is really really good but I've got short hair and she just isn't good at cutting it, she's great with the long wavy Instagram hair though, but that's not me. So I go elsewhere. She's never seemed fussed, so either she doesn't care or she's professional, but either way I've been a loyal customer to her and hers is the more expensive appointment for me, so she's no reason to be unhappy.

ichundich · 03/10/2023 22:16

Hairdressers are getting a bit like builders around here. Can't get an appointment anymore, and all the the salons in the town centre bar one have have closed down.

stayathomer · 03/10/2023 22:17

the time before, when I was in this situation, when I went back to my original hair dresser they just spent the entire time tutting and saying how uneven it had been cut…

do that’s how I learned

they are a very sensitive profession
Had the same before, couldn’t get an appointment before a big family thing that I knew my mum would murder me for not having it done so when I couldn’t I did the ‘oh no are you sure you can’t fit me in?’ to cover myself and she said regretfully‘I’m so sorry you’ll have to find somewhere else, I will do the colour after Christmas if you haven’t had it done. So I went to a different place and the next time I went back she was practically gleeful about the awful state of my hair and what an awful cut I’d had!

Brocollimatilda · 03/10/2023 22:21

TheresaBouvey · 03/10/2023 22:02

Yeah this is how it works with hair dressers

i could not book my usual hair dresser last summer as she was on holiday. Do I went to a different salon

now I can never go back to my original hair dresser

it’s an unwritten rule.

the time before, when I was in this situation, when I went back to my original hair dresser they just spent the entire time tutting and saying how uneven it had been cut…

do that’s how I learned

they are a very sensitive profession

God yes.I lived away temporarily and had to get my hair cut in a new salon. The hairdresser spent the whole time slagging off my usual hairdresser’s cut. Literally picking up hair and looking at it sadly.

Builders do the same. Always slag off the previous builder’s work.

ichangedmyhair · 03/10/2023 22:22

I'm a hairdresser and I think she was very unprofessional. It's up to you where you spend your money. It's your hair not hers.

I had a similar situation with my nail technician this year. Loyal to her for two years, she did my nails in July and they weren't up to her usual standard. Two broke and the way she finished them was just not good.
I contacted her and told her very nicely that I had broken two and as I was going on holiday would appreciate if she could redo the whole set as they just didn't look good at all. She offered me a ten minute slot to repair the broken ones. Then posted a cancellation on her stories but told me she couldn't redo mine. I used to leave her a €10 tip every time too.
I booked someone else, had them redone and now I go to her every three weeks instead. Much better job too.

Anyway my point is she wouldn't/couldn't/didn't do what I needed from her and was paying for so I went elsewhere. I will die if I ever meet her🤣🤣 but it's her own fault.

And I do feel a bit hurt when a client leaves me but that's mainly because I like them not because of the money.

grosslyunfair · 03/10/2023 22:24

Cutting and colouring are different skills IMO, although the cut and colour should work together. I went to a salon for years where I had one colourist and another cutter, and it was great.

Taken me three years since they closed to find someone who works- I now have the same guy doing both and he does a great job. But once I was desperate and he was unavailable and I booked someone else, I got there and he'd swapped his schedule to do mine! Very possessive!

spuddel · 03/10/2023 22:36

My late best friend always did my hair. He only sulked if I didn't have three bottles of white wine chilling Grin

But yes, hairdressers definitely do this territorial thing and it's so off-putting, especially when they slag off the work of another.

Frabbits · 03/10/2023 22:37

It's your money and your hair. Hairdresser was being fucking ridiculous. I wouldn't go back.

Againstmachine · 03/10/2023 22:39

Where you have been between appointments is non of her business.l, they have zero right to be huffy.

I'm always surprised at how much leeway people give hairdressers when they are meant to be running their own businesses.

ThinWomansBrain · 03/10/2023 22:45

My hair is curlyish, but not as curly as I'd like, so decided to get it permed, needs doing about once a year.
Regular hairdresser 'trained too recently to learn perms, the college had dropped them" - s6 got it done elsewhere and he asked for the number to refer other clients there.

I occasionally pop in to the local (perm) one to get the undercut done between proper cuts - she's not as good as my regular hairdresser at blending it in, but convenience sometimes wins over. Regular hairdresser isn't at all precious about it, nor is the perm hairdresser.

Mirabai · 03/10/2023 22:46

I have a colourist and a cutter. Never had a problem.

Jeannie88 · 03/10/2023 22:51

Have done this a few times before, had the oh you've had it cut since last time? Yeah my ... needed a model for her hairdressing practice. It was true once so I'm not lying!

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 03/10/2023 22:52

I don't see what your hairdresser is miffed about, she definitely makes more money to colour your hair than the other hairdresser gets for cutting it.

She who pays the piper calls the tune. Ask your miffed hairdresser about the colours she puts on your hair - and then take that information to the new salon.

You don't owe a business anything other than the price they charge you for the product/service. If other people do it better then they will lose that customer. That's commerce.

My hairdresser is pricey, works for herself. I will follow her anywhere she goes. I have no problem dropping hairdressers that do a poor job that makes their client feel unhappy, they shouldn't be in business.

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