Teenagers are nice

[CancertheCrab]

Why do so many parents on here accept horrible behaviour from teens and say it is normal, and so many other people join in and agree with them?

It becomes such an echo chamber of agreeing that teens are moody, unpleasant, selfish, etc, and this is just not the case

Like adults almost all teens are nice, kind, caring people, and selfish and bad behaviour is not normal, and should not be accepted

You have a good point, however, teens brains literally change during puberty and makes them lose the ability to have empathy (to some extent) not to mention the hormones that are raging. No one is saying they are "not nice" but they can display some pretty unpleasant behaviours and it's perfectly normal. To say that all teens will be nice all the time is just unrealistic

My 16 year olds room is an actual hovel, I've just left her to it now

I love working with teenagers. Even the difficult ones.
They're quicksilver, all of them.
So fundamentally alive.
I've had classes that have reduced me to tears and make me wonder why I'm in this job, then they'll come up with something or just get something and I'm ❤️

Whenever I tell pple that I have two teenage boys (17, 18) they look at me in horror. I tell them that they are the nicest boys I could wish for and I'm so lucky to have them. I tell them that too.

My teen and almost teen are both lush. Sure my dd can sometimes be hormonal and hot headed, but so am I so she is probably modeling my behaviour. I wish i could spend more time with them and am desperately sad that in 3 years she'll be gone to uni.

Sigh.

My dd's room is insta tody but she does minimal to help otherwise. I don't mind as long as she brings her washing down and changes her own sheets.

I'm probably a total mug, but I tidy and clean their rooms. To be fair, they don't make a lot of mess...and they will clear up a bit. Dd tidies up every night before bed and ds doesn't make much mess. Food and drink are banned in their rooms except for a glass of water. The thought of them sleeping in messy dirty rooms genuinely upsets me...not because I'm a clean freak..I'm not at all...but I feel like I'd be a neglectful mother of they did.

I hear horror stories of teens not allowing parents into their horrifically messy rooms and that would drive me insane, so you are lucky in that respect.

I have 2 boys 17 and 15, they are great, lots of fun and we do lots together, majority of their friends are lovely also, one or two are a bit of a nightmare with not telling their parents where they are going and getting in minor trouble but not awful. 2 of my friends have had issues with their DDs, one from the age of 12-16 but since leaving school they're great, the other one started being awful at 17. Mainly being completely vile to their mums.

I always thought I was awful as a teen but my parents said it was literally a couple of incidents (they obv really stood out to me) but they said overall it was all pretty OK.

@ImDuranDuran
I am in the same shoes. Practically perfect teens but their room brings me to tears. I have put off moving because we would never be able to sell the house with them living in it. I might go in and deep cleaning the room in the morning feeling like @Comedycook and within 2 hours, mascara streaks on the floor, hair every where, powder on the tables, tops flung unto the desk, sweet wrappers on the floor... I wonder, why do I bother at all? I may take their phones and send them in to tidy up, they do and I'm really pleased for the evening and it's back to tip-level mess the next morning.
Apart from that, they're doing amazing at school, very kind and do their other chores. I'm trying to ignore it all and wait for them to go to Uni!

I have a pleasant nice teenager has their moments like we all do but just just pleasant to be around

My teen ds is generally a good egg, although he sometimes has his moody moments.

My 12yo Ds has SEN, and I'm strapping myself in for a rough ride with him I think.

I am always in a quandary, wondering if teens are more rude and disrespectful because we're softer on them than our parents were on us generally, almost like the price to pay for having a more kind and respectful relationship with kids rather than the old fashioned authoritarian way, is that they are more free to behave badly to us. I find it hard to play the authoritarian (did more when they were little), because I want them to behave like reasonable respectful people not because they're scared of what will happen if they don't but because they realise it's the right thing to do. I do also think that our culture produces so much anxiety so that so much energy is going to be needed for young people now to maintain some good level of mental health, that will become a special elite privilege, to be able to be mentally healthy- at least that's the way I see it going.

I agree entirely.

Mine are awesome. They're 17, 14 and 12 and were all great friends but they also know their boundaries and I don't think they would dare not want to say or do a fraction of the stuff I read on here. None would go by you without offering a cuppa if they're making one too.
They do their few chores without any pushback (I am more than happy to allow them time first to finish what they're doing ie. An online game or watching the end of an episode of whatever they're watching etc.)

I can't relate to the posts about rotten teens but I do know that it's not always a parenting issue. Could be them hanging around with the wrong person. Eldest DD started with the tiniest hint of an attitude when she was home from hanging with a certain girl years ago. I discouraged it and they thankfully drifted apart without fall out.

Mine are ace and yes nice