To want another child...

[Fortyplusbaby]

NC for this for a myriad of reasons!

Pre COVID I was single, late 30s, and didn't expect to meet anyone or have children. I'd resigned myself to being child free, but having some would have been nice.

COVID put a halt on dating and I threw myself into my career. Then 2021, I meet an amazing man and we start a solid relationship. I then fell pregnant at 40 by accident (on mini pill and condoms!) and gave birth to our DD last Christmas aged 41. Our relationship is incredibly strong and we are getting mrried soon.

However I'm now 42 and would really like our DD to have a sibling. I'm aware of the ticking clock and ideally I'd like to at least try for another one.

AIBU to try for another child at my age, and how do I go about asking DFiance?

NB I am back at work part time, pregnancy was not easy (SPD) and had EMCS, but DD is wonderful. We have a 2 bed house but could extend/move and afford future childcare.

You tell him what you want. You have a child together, you’ve agreed to spend the rest of your lives together, you just talk to him.

If you can afford to and your partner is in agreement you are not unreasonable to try. But (and I know you’ll have a million stories about someone having kids into pension age or similar) age is a factor. Not only for conception but carrying a pregnancy to term, factoring in working longer, being an older mum to two children, just the general exhaustion of having preteens/teens when reaching menopause. I know someone your age who wanted another but sadly it never happened and now they’re peri. I’m not trying to be negative, unfortunately it has to be taken into consideration.

If the pros outweigh the cons for your situation then certainly go for it!

42 is absolutely fine. You just say you've been thinking about having a second, how would he feel about it.

Thanks so much for the replies. I appreciate I just need to talk to him, I've just not found the right words yet!

I have no doubt it would be a strain to carry another one, and it might not happen, but I'd at least like to try!