To not like company rhetoric around mental health?

[MeadowCS]

It’s potentially just a wording thing, but my employer does a lot of communications and courses around ‘building mental resilience’.

Its marketed to us as a way to avoid poor mental health but I think it bolsters the idea that somehow if you have mental health issues, you are mentally weak, and not ‘resilient’ enough, which I don’t agree with.

I just think the word ‘resilience’ isn’t the right phrase to me. AIBU?

I can see your point. But I think that in fact, in mental health contexts, the word is used to mean the internal and external resources that help people cope with stress, trauma, grief, etc. It is all about building these protective resources. It isn't about value judgements regarding individuals' character.

Think of it as being comparable to terms like 'fitness' in relation to physical resilience against illness. That can have an evaluative dimension, but it is also used neutrally just to speak of how we can build our protection agains certain illnesses.

Oh, another useful comparator term is 'business resilience'. It is clear in this context that the term 'resilience' isn't about any kind of value judgement. It is simply a set of organisational and planning tools to help create and maintain resources that ensure continuity in the face of various challenges.

That’s very true, and I by no means think my employer actually means anything badly by it, but the wording just gets my back up. It’s been being used since the pandemic so it’s not going anywhere.

I can’t help but think if that’s the intention there must be a better way of phrasing or wording it (I can’t think of one though so maybe not!)

No, I think we need to promote resilience and make it something to be proud of. I feel for those with real MH issues (my daughter is one before anyone accuses me of being callous with no experience of these) but we still need to move away from the idea that everyone is a fragile flower, which is the impression I get from a lot of what I read on MN, for example.

So many 'trigger warnings'! So many people posting to ask 'is this offensive?' That kind of low-level mental stress is surely what needs to be knocked on the head. Let's not normalise being triggered, or finding everyday life unmanageable for most people. I've read on MN of lots of cases where people react totally disproportionately to say, a bit of criticism at work, or encountering a rude stranger. If you want to live a reasonably full life you've got to be able to cope with these things without going to pieces.

I remember watching a programme where a team were involved in a really gruelling physical activity over several days. A couple of them had painful feet (they were tough people to start with, so not moaning lightly) and the team leader listened sympathetically and then said 'I'm sorry about that, but I'd be obliged if you'd do your job anyway'. I've always remembered it - yes, sometimes things are tough, but sometimes you just have to get on with it.

I agree; I work in a high stress job and there’s lots of talk about building resilience rather than our employer doing anything to reduce the stress. It then gives the impression that when you do get unwell with stress that it’s due to your own lack of resilience

@CoffeeCantata with respect that attitude in my workplace is essentially what means people carry on until they are too ill with stress to continue and literally “cannot” rather than being able to say actually this is too much and I need some help.

Resilience is what melts the snowflakes. If people built resilience, to being offended by things that 10 or 20 years ago no one would have thought offensive, this is better than everyone walking around on tippy toes and eggshells lest they say something 'triggering' IMHO

Well work (and other) stress can result in MH issues. Building resilience - teaching how to deal with it, is a good thing. That's what they usually mean by it at work so I don't see anything realy wrong with wording.

Khvdrt · Today 11:03

No - I'm sorry if it came over that way, but I'm not talking about expecting people to accept work-place bullying or exploitation. When I was working I always spoke up against these things.

I mean this sort of thing: school-leaver starts work and is late every single day for the first week. When asked about it - no practical problem or travel issues. Just late, surprised it was an issue for anyone and expected it to be OK. Got reprimanded by manager. Goes home in tears and parent rings to shout at manager that they'upset her'. This kind of thing is ridiculous, and that's what I mean by being able to take valid criticism on the chin without creating drama.

On the subject of resilience, something that happened in my teaching days which made me think hard about whether I'd been reasonable. I concluded I had, by the way! I was teaching Year 5s (end of year, so nearly Y6) and it was near Remembrance Day so I read them a child's picture book (for even younger kids) about a family where a soldier went off to the FWW and didn't return. Nothing graphic, just the mention that he didn't come back from the war and how they remembered him.

Well, a mum came to see me the next day to complain that I'd upset her daughter who'd gone home very sad due to the story. My response was that it was great that she was so sensitive and thoughtful, and that it was OK to be upset - it was a very sad story, and her response was appropriate. I'm a very sensitive person myself and don't watch violent films or TV, for example, so I know where this girl was coming from, but at at 10-11 it's not really OK to pretend nothing bad ever happens in the world.

What bugged me was the idea that no-one should ever be upset by anything! It's only honest to prepare children for the world and to say that sometimes life's stressful or upsetting, but that's normal - and we need to learn to deal with it.