AIBU - is this rude?

[Treeintheshade]

My sibling lives abroad and has a partner and child. Every year for the child's birthday and Christmas I send a parcel. It was the child's birthday a few weeks ago. We were chatting on the phone a week before the birthday and they said they got the parcel.
The birthday came and there is a time difference but I aimed for call for their evening time. My call was unanswered. I also sent a message. Since then, there was no call or response or thank you for the birthday gift. There was nothing from their side. It's just a bit rude now at this stage.

There's been no communication since then. No thank you. Nothing.

I presume the child had a birthday party too and they usually send some pictures but there was nothing.

If you've had nothing at all I'd jump to worried rather than rude. Where do they live OP? Are you sure they're OK?

Im kinda with the pp here. If they usually contact you and there’s been nothing, are they okay? Have they posted on family chats or social media?

Presumably this is unusual and if so I would be worried that everyone is ok.
If, however you think that your sibling is being rude then I suggest you adopt my policy.
I give families 2 chances and if a second gift goes un acknowledged I stop sending gifts. I’m not looking for gushing thanks, I mainly want to know that the parcel arrived safely.

Assuming they’re all fine etc then yes, this is rude. It takes so little time to send a thank you and it’s really important to acknowledge people’s kindnesses. Do you feel able to mention it or is going to cause a massive fall out?

I would also be really worried about them, why have you not tried to ring them again over the last few weeks?

How am I supposed to follow it up?

I know they got the parcel because they said it on a call. But I never got a thank you from them or a message. When I tried to make contact on the birthday, the call was unanswered and message unanswered.

I have another sibling abroad and if anything bad happened, he would have made contact so nothing bad happened. There was just no communication since then.

I don't know if they are down with flus or if their phones are broken or if there's other stuff happening in the background like issues with aging parents or I don't know. I find it bizarre how there was no communication though.

It's been two weeks.
I presumed they were busy and they would get back to me but there has been nothing since then. It's only now I feel like there's something not right.

Has your other sibling heard from them? Why have you not tried ringing again?

But if something HAS happened they might not be ABLE to contact... that's the point

Also, they let you know they had the parcel, did they thank you then?

Perhaps ask the other sibling if he's heard anything rather than making lots of assumptions based on little knowledge.

If something feels not right and you are worried then phone them and ask them.
State that you have heard nothing and that you tried to talk on their birthday. Only they can tell you.

I got this at the weekend. It was my sister's birthday and I sent a present via my other sibling who was seeing her that day. I haven't had an acknowledgement of thanks, so I don't know if she got it!

If they don't say thank you then I don't gift. Simple as that.
I have a cousin who lives abroad and my dm sends her cash for her dc for Christmas and birthday (a generation thing!) There is never even so much as a quick text to let her know the gift has arrived, let alone a thank you. Dm has to message every time to check that it was received okay. Its rude.

Are they the type to not say thank you?

Have you tried ringing again?

I'm the overseas sibling, unless there's something wrong, it's very rude.

When you have family overseas, you get used to the time difference, and though you may not call on the day, and if things are really hectics, we would record a short thank you video to send instead and catch up a few days later.

I would be worried to not have heard anything for two weeks though

You know they received the parcel so that's a start. The fact this lack of acknowledgement,along with the lack of usual party photos , suggests either something is going on or they may just have forgotten.

I don't really understand why your default is to strop about them being rude, rather than messaging "Not heard from you for a bit, hope everything is ok and Ella liked her present."

Yes, ideally you would have had a thank you. They've probably just forgotten or been busy - not ideal, not polite but personally I wouldn't stand on ceremony or begrudge a family member over it.

I sent a follow up message earlier in the week but it was unanswered again. I tried ringing as well but it went unanswered. There's other family over there and they are alive because the other family would have been notified otherwise and would have informed us at home.

It seems as if they are ignoring me.

@Treeintheshade talk to the other family then, tell them you're concerned at the silence from your sibling? Sorry this is ongoing, it's not pleasant, I hope it's really nothing serious just busy lives.

I rang my other sibling abroad and he said that they have all been busy with work.

I wrote this post on the 3rd of October and there still has not been any contact from my other brother is sister in law and niece. I find this unusual and it seems as if they are ignoring me. That's what it feels like to me. To go from regular contact once every few weeks to nothing. Last time I heard was 6 weeks ago and there was a birthday not long after that.

You can't be busy for that long not to tap into an app and keep communication open.

Then send a message to them saying that.