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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go into the office

74 replies

GodblessHookyStreet · 03/10/2023 05:56

We have just started returning to the office twice weekly and have been given anchor days for which we can not deviate from one of mine is today.

They are quite strict that we need to go in or if we are unable to due to sickness ,child care issues we simply just can't work from home we need to take it as a day's sickness or emergency holiday.

Yesterday while home working I had severe diarrhoea to the point I shat myself twiceBlush. Don't know if something I eat or a bug but was still able to work as long as I could access a toilet.

I am totally panicking about going into the office and potentially shitting myself but then again I might be ok and better.

I honestly don't know what to do as they are being strict but scared in case of above .

Would IBU to not go in but explain I could still work from home or be honest? I obviously do not want to tell my colleagues I shat myself .

OP posts:
ShellySarah · 03/10/2023 08:28

We went back 3 days a week in late 2021. Can't believe this is still a thing.

If you're that bad, call in sick.

Sensoria · 03/10/2023 08:29

rookiemere · 03/10/2023 08:13

Well it's a silly policy then and means company will lose out on working days from employees and people will end up with needlessly high sick days.

Surely the whole point of the ability to wfh is circumstances like this where you're not able to do the commute, but should be able to knock out a few emails and meetings if at home.

Show quote history

I know, but OP hasn’t started this thread so that people can comment on her work policy. She wants advice on what to do - when the policy is already there and clear.

purplemunkey · 03/10/2023 08:30

Possimpible · 03/10/2023 07:20

JFC have people actually lost their minds? In 2019 if you were ill like this you'd have phoned in sick. You would not (and should not!) consider going in. What if it's noro? This is exactly the problem with WFH, it's blurred the boundaries.

Almost exactly what I was going to say.

What’s the dilemma? You have diarrhoea- call in sick.

Ginmonkeyagain · 03/10/2023 08:38

TBH there might be a reason for this wider policy.

I had a member of staff last year who was clearly using "I'm sick but will log in at home" as a skive. We monitor sickness levels and if there are regular patterns you get a meeting with HR - it became clear that he was trying to use WFH as a way to avoid a big sick record but using claims of sickness to cover why he wasn't as producrive or available on these days.

We got wise to it pretty quickly.

HeatherMoores · 03/10/2023 08:40

Just call in sick. If they don’t give you any flexibility I’m not sure why you should give them any. It should be a two way thing.

Notsleepingpeacefully · 03/10/2023 08:43

I’m not sure why someone who is clearly sick, would not call in sick…..? You can’t go into the office - you risk spreading whatever you have to everyone else

And if their policy is ‘if you are sick then you have to call in sick’ - then I’m not sure what the issue is here really??

Maxiedog123 · 03/10/2023 08:44

You shouldn't go in in case you give it to everyone else. Call in sick as you are sick.

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 03/10/2023 08:45

Do not go in, you risk giving whatever you have to someone else. Take a sick day.

LoveBluey · 03/10/2023 08:51

I'd find this frustrating. In a lot of jobs workload is self managed and not picked up by anyone else if you're off. If I took a sick day I'd have work building up and would then face coming back to a backlog (possibly while still recovering) However if I could work for the majority of the day from home perhaps at a slower pace I could keep on top of the work.

I have had a wfh job for over 10 years- predating covid and luckily have never had this situation.

openallday · 03/10/2023 08:52

Say you have a stomach bug. Feel up to working but possibly contagious

pleasefuckinggodno · 03/10/2023 08:52

Take a sick day and if it’s raised explain the delicate situation. No one likes hearing about shitty pants

Dianalouise · 03/10/2023 08:53

People don’t like calling in sick because it impacts their sickness record. Lots of companies have triggers (eg 3 instances of sick leave in rolling 12 month period) where an attendance policy intervention is required. Since COVID our sickness leave levels have plummeted. Some people will use it as an excuse to skive (oh I’ll just log on and reply to a few emails so I’m not technically off sick). Some people will drag themselves up in bed with their laptop on their knee working from home when they absolutely should not be. Swings and roundabouts…but it absolutely masks the true state of health of the workforce.

MarkWithaC · 03/10/2023 08:58

RedRosie · 03/10/2023 06:19

This is ridiculous. Just report sick, as you are unwell. People shouldn't work at home if they are sick any more than they should go into the office if they are sick.

I think that's too black and white. Obviously if you may have a stomach bug you should stay away from people; but if you feel fine apart from needing quick and private access to a loo, it's fine to work at home.
The 'anchor days' thing sounds too rigid.

Startingagainandagain · 03/10/2023 08:59

''@ChChChCherryBomb

Debini · Today 05:56

Get some loperamide and go in.
This ''

Such a bizarre attitude.

She would risk potentially passing on whatever she has to the rest of the office and would probably spend the day doing very little because she would feel unwell and would be concerned about not making it to the loo on time or being caught short in the car or public transport...

She could just work from home and the employer is daft to have such an inflexible policy in the first place.

I really dislike this idea that you should still go to work when you are sick and expose your colleagues to your illness...

Caledoniadreaming · 03/10/2023 09:16

Quite a bizarre and inflexible policy, however - there is a reason why, when kids have D&V, nursery/childcare refuse to take them back for 48 hours. No idea why adults think this shouldn't apply to them.

Can you imagine the outcry if you had gone in (and potentially used public transport), and then the whole office came down with it, just to appease the policy?

ChChChCherryBomb · 03/10/2023 09:23

Startingagainandagain · 03/10/2023 08:59

''@ChChChCherryBomb

Debini · Today 05:56

Get some loperamide and go in.
This ''

Such a bizarre attitude.

She would risk potentially passing on whatever she has to the rest of the office and would probably spend the day doing very little because she would feel unwell and would be concerned about not making it to the loo on time or being caught short in the car or public transport...

She could just work from home and the employer is daft to have such an inflexible policy in the first place.

I really dislike this idea that you should still go to work when you are sick and expose your colleagues to your illness...

I did add a further comment stating ‘unless the OP had been bad throughout the night’!

If she’d been absolutely fine since around teatime then yes, I’d stick to going in.

Then again, I have Crohn’s disease so I suppose I’m hardened to it!

CharlotteBog · 03/10/2023 09:26

Madness. Why would you have to tell your colleagues you shat yourself?
Just take a sick day.

It sounds like they've clarified the WFH guidelines as staff have been taking the piss. You say they are asking staff to return to the office, which implies that you were office-based before lockdown. Thus, this is just going back to how it was and people need to organise childcare and either take a sick day if sick rather than 'Oh I've got a bit of a headache, I'll try and work from home' which is all a bit flakey from an employer POV.

CharlotteBog · 03/10/2023 09:27

LoveBluey · 03/10/2023 08:51

I'd find this frustrating. In a lot of jobs workload is self managed and not picked up by anyone else if you're off. If I took a sick day I'd have work building up and would then face coming back to a backlog (possibly while still recovering) However if I could work for the majority of the day from home perhaps at a slower pace I could keep on top of the work.

I have had a wfh job for over 10 years- predating covid and luckily have never had this situation.

That's a management problem.
People shouldn't feel pressured to work when they are unwell.

Beckafett · 03/10/2023 11:30

This can't be a real thread surely? Someone is poorly to the point of soiling themselves and is asking if they should go and work next to other people... ?!

ColdPizzaBreakfast · 03/10/2023 12:40

ChChChCherryBomb · 03/10/2023 09:23

I did add a further comment stating ‘unless the OP had been bad throughout the night’!

If she’d been absolutely fine since around teatime then yes, I’d stick to going in.

Then again, I have Crohn’s disease so I suppose I’m hardened to it!

Show quote history

But surely if you have Crohn's then you will understand that some of ops colleagues may be immunosuppressed and not welcome her coming in with a bug?

I'm currently really unwell thanks to a cold that everyone 'heroically' came into the office with but will lay me low for a week. Surely the benefit of hybrid working is that we can share bugs around less

Ponderence · 03/10/2023 13:22

I’m sure others have said it- but if you google d and v it’ll say soemthing abbout staying at home for 48 hours

bigshort · 03/10/2023 13:29

Debini · 03/10/2023 05:56

Get some loperamide and go in.

Do not do this.

ShellySarah · 03/10/2023 14:58

This is where I think WFH has caused more harm than good. So ill you're soiling yourself and won't take a sick day. If you're that ill you should call in sick.

ColdPizzaBreakfast · 03/10/2023 15:11

ShellySarah · 03/10/2023 14:58

This is where I think WFH has caused more harm than good. So ill you're soiling yourself and won't take a sick day. If you're that ill you should call in sick.

Agreed.

I make this mistake sometimes too, feel like I don't need to take a sick day "because I can work from home" but really theres definitely a point we need to accept we shouldn't even work at home

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