Hi, I have a difficult relationship with my father. My parents divorced when I was a baby, so not seeing them together was never really an issue for me, but my father remarried an abusive woman who made my childhood hell. My father had always favoured her over my wellbeing, dismissed my concerns and even covered up her abusive behaviour for which my mother went to court against them. This has nonetheless damaged our relationship and as soon as I became an adult I cut contact with him for years and since then I had moved countries and gotten married. However a year back he made an effort to contact me and I gave him another chance, we barely "talk" though (he messages me briefly to wish me happy birthday/Christmas /etc and then we don't message each other for months). I've had 2 children and he knows they exist, but recently I've given birth to my third child and I didn't even tell him about the pregnancy first because we don't talk and second because I didn't want his wife to know and wish me evil. Now that she's been born safely and she's healthy I feel he should know but on the other hand I see no benefit as he's not present in our lives nor does he seem interested in my other two kids. AIBU?