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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be jealous of others success?

14 replies

icantchangetime · 02/10/2023 23:15

I know I'm being unreasonable but looking for honest insights from you as to what my problem is, or if you ever feel the same?

My issue is hearing of others success. Ex colleagues I didn't like getting promoted is a core one. The stupid thing is that I'm in a brilliant job already and earning really well. Them doing well shouldn't matter but it does.

Am I alone or do you ever feel this?

I don't feel this with friends and family just people I've had problems with.

OP posts:
YeahNoYeah · 03/10/2023 00:16

Why do you think you feel that way? Jealousy?

Aerin1999 · 03/10/2023 00:24

May I ask how old you are OP?

spookehtooth · 03/10/2023 00:24

Only you can know that. An ignorant guess would be unhappiness with some aspect of your own life. Comparisons are nothing but trouble, IMO, I don't think anything good can come from them. Better to keep focus on the things we can do something about, that make us happy or closer to a goal that improves our lot in some way. Many of my goals only mean a lot to me, they'd seem trivial to someone less interested in those things

Original poster
icantchangetime · 03/10/2023 00:29

I'm 58 so should know better.

Yes, I recognise this is playing into some self esteem issue probably. It's just ridiculous. I wish I could turn it off as I have no control over what others do (rightly so) and ultimately it makes no difference to my life.

I think I'm jealous as they seem more confident and my success is still riddled with fear and anxiety even though I've always been successful.

OP posts:
Original poster
icantchangetime · 03/10/2023 00:30

What is that saying, Envy is the thief of joy?

OP posts:
icallitasplodge · 03/10/2023 00:31

I wish I could turn it off as I have no control over what others do

you have control over what you do. Be kinder. More considerate. Think more about the journey others have faced. You can turn it off, listen to the Angel on your shoulder not the devil pouring poison in your ear.

Original poster
icantchangetime · 03/10/2023 00:32

spookehtooth · 03/10/2023 00:24

Only you can know that. An ignorant guess would be unhappiness with some aspect of your own life. Comparisons are nothing but trouble, IMO, I don't think anything good can come from them. Better to keep focus on the things we can do something about, that make us happy or closer to a goal that improves our lot in some way. Many of my goals only mean a lot to me, they'd seem trivial to someone less interested in those things

Very wise

OP posts:
OstrichInPink · 03/10/2023 01:38

I assume you're male, OP?

Aerin1999 · 03/10/2023 01:42

OstrichInPink · 03/10/2023 01:38

I assume you're male, OP?

Why assume this?

steff13 · 03/10/2023 01:44

OstrichInPink · 03/10/2023 01:38

I assume you're male, OP?

Why?

Original poster
icantchangetime · 03/10/2023 06:23

Nope, not male. Is it because my behaviour is competitive? I think there is an element of that.

Anyway, thank you for the replies. It's something I definitely need to work on as it's just self defeating and pointless.

OP posts:
dayofcheese · 03/10/2023 06:24

It's often a sign that the person wants to try for promotion

Spaghettine · 03/10/2023 07:56

A temporary jealously at someone you dislike doing better than you is absolutely normal. As long as you don't obsess or fixate, which it doesn't sound like you are.

Original poster
icantchangetime · 03/10/2023 08:19

Spaghettine · 03/10/2023 07:56

A temporary jealously at someone you dislike doing better than you is absolutely normal. As long as you don't obsess or fixate, which it doesn't sound like you are.

Thank you.

I'm coming more to the conclusion that on every front the best advice is to care less.

OP posts:
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