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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to avoid soft play?

35 replies

Wrenifly · 02/10/2023 21:51

DS is 16months. So far, he’s been to soft play twice and has been ill both times so after the last time when he was around 9 months, I thought to myself, never again!

The trouble is a lot of my mum friends have started meeting at softplay once a fortnight and so far I’ve never been. They’re meeting again on Wednesday and tbh I’m running out of excuses. I do see them at other places so it’s not like I need to go but DH made a comment tonight about how DS would love soft play now he’s older (he would I know) and it’s a shame to deprive him of having fun with his toddler friends due to us not wanting the germs.

I know he’s right in that DS would love it. He also pointed out that DS is in nursery every week anyway now and comes home most weeks ill at the moment so will one session of soft play make much difference?

Is it possible to go to softplay and not get ill? I think the fact he was ill both times after has really put me off. I’m also aware that as he’s getting older and with winter looming, indoor things like soft play are probably going to be more popular meeting points with my mum friends.

OP posts:
FeelSoDown · 02/10/2023 21:52

My children have never been ill after soft play

00100001 · 02/10/2023 21:53

Kids get ill ALL THE TIME, soft play is no worse than nurseries or whatever. Your kid is more mobile and will naturally get more ill regardless.

IHateLegDay · 02/10/2023 21:55

Anywhere he's in an environment around other people, there is the possibility of getting ill.
It's no more likely at a soft play than it is at a baby group.
Just let him have fun and build his immune system while doing so.

Greentomatoes21 · 02/10/2023 21:59

I do understand - soft play can be grubby - but no meeting place with toddlers is going to be germ free and nursery certainly isn't going to be. Sadly toddlers get viruses constantly and it is impossible to identify the actual source. I remember feeling anxious with my first, she got ill all the time. Now she's nearly 8 and not nearly so frequent as her immune system has developed. I also have a 2 year old who is in the constantly ill phase. They all go through it. It is natural to want them not to get ill but you'll only delay it rather than stop it.

OdeToBarney · 02/10/2023 21:59

Yes, kids get ill from soft play. Mine got HFM from one and colds from others. But that was before she started nursery. Now she's sick all the time anyway. And she also got noro from a pub where we had Sunday lunch! I wouldn't dream of depriving her of fun experiences in case she gets sick, honestly he's more likely to get sick from nursery and although it's horrible for us and them, they do need to build their immune systems (generally and also good for when they start school).

DinnaeFashYersel · 02/10/2023 21:59

If your child comes into contact with other children anywhere he will catch things. Nursery is the worst.

But that doesn't mean you should avoid going places. Children need to catch things to build up immunity.

YourNameGoesHere · 02/10/2023 22:01

Honestly if he's in the germ pit that is nursery then it seems very over the top to be worried about a trip to soft play.

GG1986 · 02/10/2023 22:08

My daughter used to always get ill after soft play! But she also got ill lots at nursery and when she started school. It's really annoying and horrible to see your baby ill, but it's also building their immune systems up. Just wipe hands with an antibacterial hand wipe before they eat and before you leave.

paekre · 02/10/2023 22:10

I have 2 dcs and both of them love soft play and hardly ever get ill (ill enough to miss nursery, they get coughs etc). They are both really busy with loads of activities so I would never be able to pin it down to a specific venue anyway. If the dc enjoy it it seems mean to stop them from going tbh.

NoNoHellaNoNoHellaNoNo · 02/10/2023 22:12

There are plenty of reasons to avoid soft play, and germs isn’t one of them. DD has never been ill after a visit. Granted, we don’t go much because it is, of course, the seventh level of hell.

Original poster
Wrenifly · 02/10/2023 22:13

I think it’s because he’s STILL at the stage of putting everything straight in his mouth, I thought he’d have grown out of that stage by now tbh, when do they?

OP posts:
Hufflepods · 02/10/2023 22:15

Soft play is no worse or different to any other indoor toddler group activity. Im assuming it was a combination of the fact that your toddler didn’t go to nursery previously and a coincidence.
My toddler has been to soft play loads and although she generally has had all the normal toddler bugs I can say most of them have likely come from nursery or other social events, not soft play.

This a really bizarre rule to create and makes you sound overly anxious. Your DH is right, you’re depriving your DS due to your own issues.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 02/10/2023 22:15

We live for soft play- kept me sane and still does with my two. Can you go to the first session of the day so it’s clean?

PuttingDownRoots · 02/10/2023 22:16

The only either of mine were really ill as toddlers was at a friends house. Never from soft play. A few bugs from nursery.

Unfortunately they can get ill anywhere. When they were 6&8 they caught Scarlet Fever on a plane...

CyberCritical · 02/10/2023 22:17

Wrenifly · 02/10/2023 22:13

I think it’s because he’s STILL at the stage of putting everything straight in his mouth, I thought he’d have grown out of that stage by now tbh, when do they?

But he'll be doing that at nursery too. Softplay is no more of an illness risk than nursery and it's something that he will probably really enjoy doing.

Your logic makes no sense here as he is weekly being exposed to dozens of delightfully germy little children, who will be carrying all the same bazillions of germs as the kids at softplay.

YourNameGoesHere · 02/10/2023 22:19

Wrenifly · 02/10/2023 22:13

I think it’s because he’s STILL at the stage of putting everything straight in his mouth, I thought he’d have grown out of that stage by now tbh, when do they?

But that will happen at nursery too. It seems such an odd overreaction to write off soft play when he's getting to the age where he where he starts to enjoy it. You've years ahead of you of soft play parties and playdates at such places writing it off when he's not even 2 is nonsensical.

Penguin34 · 02/10/2023 22:58

I find that from about this age kids seem to be Ill constantly from about October to April so it doesn't matter where they go. I just brace myself for it come autumn

LoveBluey · 02/10/2023 23:14

As others have said it's no worse than a play cafe or toddler stay and play group in terms of cleanliness and germs.
It's unpleasant in other ways but as that doesn't seem to be your objection if the only reason you're avoiding it is germs I would go.

Lavender14 · 02/10/2023 23:18

I understand your hesitance but equally they get sick all the time anyway because they are building their immunity to all the bugs and illnesses we all come across regularly. I wouldn't take ds if he's been under the weather recently but I think him getting sick is just a necessary evil part of his experience and development. He's going to nursery soon and he won't be exposed to anything in soft play that he wouldn't be exposed to in nursery. If you're worried I'd look into ways you can boost his immune system through diet etc to give yourself peace of mind.

NuffSaidSam · 02/10/2023 23:28

Is it possible to go to softplay and not get ill?

No. It's literally impossible, every single child who attends softplay gets ill every single time. It's a miracle they're still in business really.

partypant · 03/10/2023 13:48

I find soft play completely revolting but I still took mine. The things I found really really revolting were ball pits. I just felt there was likely vomit, spit snd pee mixing in there. Can't bear even thinking about it

Karatema · 03/10/2023 14:35

Wrenifly · 02/10/2023 22:13

I think it’s because he’s STILL at the stage of putting everything straight in his mouth, I thought he’d have grown out of that stage by now tbh, when do they?

My eldest DS never grew out of putting things in his mouth! 😂

Sensoria · 03/10/2023 14:37

DS gets really unwell every time he gets a simple cold, so I’m overly paranoid about places like soft play.

I work part time so I tend to take him during the day when it’s quieter so less likely to cross paths with other sick children.

lilyblue5 · 03/10/2023 14:39

YANBU Soft play is vile - but they love it.
take hand gel.

god speed. 👋🏼

Emeraldrings · 03/10/2023 14:44

We usually go to soft play once a week. DS actually has a stomach bug now but that's probably from nursery.
Tbh once they are at nursery they will get sick anyway so I wouldn't deprive him of soft play for that reason.

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