My mum is obsessed with socks and blankets even when kids have raging fevers

[mamaabooa]

My mum is so obsessed with my children wearing socks and vests at all times- even when they have fevers nearing 40 degrees.

My DD has a nasty bug with a raging fever. Earlier I had given her medicine etc and it was 39.9. So I slowly took off her dress and left her just in a t shirt and underwear and socks were still on actually.

Yes I undressed her slowly, not all at once as I know that quick temp changes aren't good in this situation.

Anyway, she cooled down.

My mum FaceTimed me and had a heart attack about the fact that she was there with no blanket and just in very light clothing. Bear in mind that my house is usually around 22 degrees at the least as it's a new build, so it's not even cold in here.

She had a huge go at me and I had to tell her to F off in not so many words. I'm beyond exhausted and didn't need a dressing down.

When my kids have raging fevers I always take layers off them slowly and it massively helps and doesn't make them sicker. My mum thinks it makes them sicker, as they'll get cold.

Which side of this debate are you on ?

Your side.

Her side is massively outdated nonsense.

You've done absolutely the right thing.

I’m with you all the way

I just can't get it into her head !! She gets so worked up about it and is constantly reminding me / lecturing me about them needing to be dressed warm and under blankets, even with fevers.

I remember as a child I used to have very high fevers. I'm not fucking surprised !

Can’t get a cold from the cold 🤦🏻‍♀️. My children are always warm and I could write a book on the amount of times my parents have commented that they’re too cold.

Your side and I think the NHS guidance is on your side too.

I think it might be generational though because my MiL is like your mum.

One of things we do in hospital when children have temperatures is to ask the parents is to unwrap their children from the multiple layers they’ve put them in.

Then we turn round and they’ve wrapped them back up… anyone in Paeds knows exactly what I’m on about. 😂

I’m a paeds nurse and the Shite my mother tries to tell me, I’m like no I think I know how to nurse hot kid mother. Her ideas are very outdated it’s like she stopped in 80’s and not moved on. Won’t listen and doesn’t appreciate my years of experience with sick kids or me as a mum knowing what’s best for my child, infuriating

I always did what you do and now everyone in my house is an adult I go round telling them to stop huddling under duvets when they have a fever!

Tbh I think neither of you is "right". The recommendation from NHS is to not overdress or undress children when they have a fever, but keep them as you would normally dress them for the temperature. It might depend of their age though, mine are really young.
And personally I do get cold in short sleeves when I have a fever.

Nurse here you can tell your mum she is absolutely wrong and you are completely right. Get her to read the responses and do some research on children overheating and febrile convulsions.

I dont remember.my children ever having had any kind of fever but if you asked me I think I'd say that I'd probably let them wear light clothing.

But more to the point why are you engaging with her when you know what's goinf to happen?

Years ago dh actually threw his df out of our home after repeatedly over heating our young ds in his bed.. Once went on holiday and fil set an alarm hourly to check ds was warm enough.. Maybe because Back In The Day families struggled to keep their dc warm..

@LastNightAPandaSavedMyLife @Snowwhite83 is the NHS advice incorrect then? Because it clearly states not to undress children with fever...

Sounds like mum is getting a baby first aid course for her birthday.

A slightly cold baby will probably cry but not be harmed. A too warm baby could go into convulsions.

Interesting, I’m one of those people who instinctively put more blankets on me, when I have a fever. Why does that happen?

Also why remove layers but not use a fan/cool bath?

Getting too cold too quickly.

When I have a fever usually there are two distinct phases -

1. Feeling cold and shivering and wanting a blanket. This is usually when the temperature is rising.

1. Once the temperature has gone up, I get really hot and push all blankets off to cool down.

It wouldn't change her opinion. She's so far into how she thinks about this, no matter what anyone says, she's right m.

Ah yes the two phases sound familiar.

It’s a generation thing I think. My parents grew up in the 50s with no central heating, ice on the inside of windows etc and I guess saw babies and children constantly needing layers. My mum can’t believe my son doesn’t wear a vest now he’s at school - but he’s never cold. Buildings hold heat on so much better now. As toddlers, mine were constantly in just a nappy and a tshirt in the house, whatever the weather. They hated clothes! MIL always bemused as to why we didn’t layer them up!

A fan or cool water cool the body too quickly so it’ll then try to raise the temperature again, which defeats the point.

Op you are not unreasonable, old people (sorry to generalise!) are obsessed with cold, draughts, open windows, blankets etc. I’m sure it stems from the days before central heating. My grandparents would have the heating on full blast when the baby was small, I’d end up having to take baby gro off and just be in a vest. They’d fret baby is too cold while we are all sweating!

I got in trouble from the doctor for dressing DD too warmly last year when she had a fever from tonsillitis. In my defence, it was minus several degrees outside, there was actual ice on the ground, and I didn't want her to get cold on the journey there. I did listen to their advice and change her to a t shirt when we got home.

I love my mum but she's always cold and because she's cold, everyone else MUST be cold as well. We'll all be sat sweltering and she's pulling her face about opening a window because there's 'a draft'.

When we were kids she would have us trussed up in jumpers, duffel coats, mittens and ear muffs at the first hint of an autumn breeze. I remember when DD was a small baby having to remind my mum that advice had changed since the 80's and overheating in babies is dangerous. Fortunately, she does listen and doesn't interfere but I can see her twitching about chills 😂 she'd have DD dressed up like the Michelin man if she was in charge.