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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you find this annoying? (DH)

9 replies

twentyleggings · 01/10/2023 16:11

We have 2 boys (primary age).
AIBU?
Leaving the house can be such a pain. For example, this morning, DH put a video game on for them just before we were all about to go out, started playing it with them and then went off to pack the car and left me to get them off the device to do teeth, wash hands etc i.e. all the boring stuff so they argued with me.
Same sort of thing when I’m leaving for the school run. Surely they are capable of not being entertained for a few mins right before we leave? They are Y4.
Now I am swinging between irritation that he won’t just leave them be and guilt that he is brilliant with them and tries really hard to keep them happy every minute!
He says ‘they have 5 mins to spare’. Why does he constantly need to ‘fill’ it for them and start them on something that will take ages to stop?
Better this than him ignoring them. He spends lots of quality time with them so it’s not that.
He likes to be busy all the time.
I think it’s ok for them to be bored and I want them to learn to wait at appropriate times.
It’s feels like a time-blindness? He is tired
of me saying ‘this is not a good time’ 🤣

OP posts:
MacarenaMacarena · 01/10/2023 18:17

Leave it to him to get them away from the TV... Maybe after that he'll realise the value of a realistic routine and working together...

Fiery30 · 01/10/2023 18:23

I think its unhealthy to fill every second of a child's time. It is ok to be doing nothing and they need to be taught that. Especially in your case, where your husband could have used the time to get the kids ready and waiting, instead he chose to be irresponsible and leave all the tasks to you. It is time that you have an open discussion about parenting styles and why he gets to be the 'fun' parent always or why he cudn't get the kids ready. He definitely needs to do his share too.

Jengnr · 01/10/2023 18:26

Let him sort it.

CherryMaDeara · 01/10/2023 18:30

Tell him he needs to get them ready.

Walk away and wait for him in the car.

gamerchick · 01/10/2023 18:32

It's him who should be getting him off whatever it is he's set them up to do OP.

ItWasntMyFault · 01/10/2023 18:34

They don't have 5 mins to spare if they haven't cleaned their teeth etc. why not tell him that? (Although he should already know anyway!)

FloweryWowery · 01/10/2023 18:35

He's not brilliant is he. He's being a Disney dad and leaving you to do the shit work.

twentyleggings · 01/10/2023 20:50

He does do his share, he just chooses odd times to do stuff and seems unaware how long it takes to get 2 kids organised.

Tonight I left him to it to get everyone away from the TV and ready for bed when he'd put their show on right after we'd agreed it was shower time as school night.

He's a great Dad and DH so I try and pick my battles.

OP posts:
twentyleggings · 02/10/2023 09:39

He’s very proactive and caring. Does all the right things but at the wrong time! Nice problem to have really.

OP posts:
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