So today we were meant to be seeing my partners dad with 9 months baby. He’s only met her once before when she was newborn. I’ve only met him twice. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and we literally live in the same city as my boyfriends dad, in fact his work is a 10 minute walk away from our house. Yet I’ve only met him twice. For the first two and half years of our relationship partner would not take me to introduce me to him and not say why. He will just be like ‘none of my past relationships ever met him’ etc. however he would see his dad weekly and claim he is such a ‘great dad’. When his dad called he would literally leave the house and go sit in his car outside to chat with him so i wouldn’t hear. Ofc I had suspicions on cheating so I went through his messages with his dad and it was defo him, but he seems a bit weird on text always demanding partner to come see him and bribing him with money etc. he also never once asked about me even when he knew I was pregnant.
When I became pregnant I was like to my boyfriend I need to meet him otherwise he will never meet our baby. So when I was heavily pregnant I finally got partner to let me meet him. It was actually okay and he seemed normal enough, so I just don’t really understand. However his mum (they aren’t together) would tell me lots of shit about him how he was horrible and controlling with her, how he would make disgusting and inappropriate comments about her daughter (partners half sister so his step daughter) and he would be gross about women. They haven’t been together for like 20 years and suddenly this past year he is calling her up and asking to see her and sending her love letters just being all weird even though he knows she’s got a boyfriend and they had not spoken in YEARS. I heard the voicemail he sent to her and his voice is all weird and shakey etc she thinks he is mentally not there. Anyway when baby was first born I agreed we could go see him as partner wanted to. Even though this man is a literally stranger to me he picked up my newborn and kissed her by her MOUTH and she was asleep and he was like wake up so I can see your eyes etc I was so uncomfortable and hated every second so we left and haven’t seen him since.
Also for the first 6 months of baby being born me and my partner were not living together temporarily as we were waiting to move to a different house so I moved back to my parents. During this time his dad became a bit ill (nothing serious) and made sure that partner didn’t come to see me and his baby for 3 weeks so he could be with him!! We lived 2 hours away and partner would usually come on his days off. Then when he finally came to see us his dad called him threathning the ambulance and that partner had to go back Immediately.
Honestly his dad is just a narcissist and hasn’t once asked about our baby. Now we are living back together in the same city as his dad, my partner wants us to go see him which I’m obviously very reluctant about as I just get weird vibes from him. I told partner he is never ever to take my baby to see him without me there regardless if he is her grandfather or not.
Today we were meant to go but I cancelled last min as baby has a cold and I was up all night with her last night so we are both tired and feeling under the weather. Now he is saying I am selfish and everything is on my terms! And honestly we would have gone but baby is genuinely unwell. Partner stormed out to see his dad yelling at me. But like why now you are desperate for us to go see him when we have a baby when before his dad was never bothered even when I was pregnant and since not seeing her since she’s been a newborn his dad hasn’t asked about her once? Am I being unreasonable? What would others mum think? I just want the best for my baby daughter and I just find this man odd and don’t want my baby around people that I feel uncomfortable with