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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not feel able to "take things one day at a time" with family dysfunction

3 replies

londoncabbie · 01/10/2023 15:08

I am in my mid twenties, still living at home with my mum and younger sibling. I am desperate to move out, and have been for a couple of years while I've been saving up a deposit. I also started a new job in June and an eligibility condition for the sort of mortgage I would like is that you have to be in your job for at least 6 months before applying. So I have to carry on living with my mum until at least December.

The dynamic with my mum does not feel healthy for me. She is very dependent on me and I don't feel like I have my own space or my own life. My younger sibling also has challenges; suspected ASD and associated issues which impact on the whole household.

All of this has quite severely negatively impacted my mental health. I am om medication and go to therapy. My therapist has confirmed that the dynamic in my home life is dysfunctional and unhealthy. However, my mum yesterday commented that I seem to be thinking ahead to the future a lot (major understatement - I can't wait until the day that I can move out!) and that I should "enjoy today" and "take things one day at a time". She is not particularly keen for me to move out.

AIBU to feel it's impossible to "enjoy today" and not to think ahead to the future because the one of the only things that's giving me hope rn is that by the end of the year I can start seriously thinking about finally moving out?! It feels very difficult to live in the moment when the moment isn't somewhere I want to be.

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Rochnutty · 01/10/2023 15:14

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Rochnutty · 01/10/2023 15:17

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londoncabbie · 01/10/2023 21:59

Any thoughts/advice welcome!

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