How do you navigate disliking your parent?

[TwentyTwenty20]

I have two living parents. One I get on with very well, the other I severely dislike. I mask the fact I dislike my parent incredibly well and I suspect they don't really know I dislike them. The reasons I dislike them is because they are generally controlling, things need to be on their terms, they try to push me into contact with other family members when I should be making those decisions myself, is quite infantilising, when I talk about my day they don't say much and move onto something they want to talk about, I've had to hide them from social media because every time I post on something they have to call me and ask me about it immediately. They don't mean to be like this but I just hate it and only really go to visit them because they have a relationship with my children and I feel obliged.

Is it OK to spend significantly more time with one parent and not the other? Is it OK to genuinely really dislike one parent without them ever having done anything cruel, and after they gave you a brilliant childhood?

How do you manage it?

It’s okay to naturally get on with someone less than the other whatever your reason. I’m not sure what you mean when you say navigate. Are you feeling guilty, is that why you’re posting? If so I would suggest you cut yourself some slack. We don’t all have to get on or like one another but I wouldn’t let this become obvious to your parent or the children because there isn’t much point the way I see it - all that could do is cause upset and bad feeling. Your feelings are valid and you can’t help them but they don’t have to become common knowledge in this kind of situation.

I don't think there is any need to 'mask' this stuff. You're grown, if you don't like them then cut contact or reduce contact as much as possible... you don't need to justify yourself. I have a difficult relationship with my Dad, I try to get on with him on a basic level but his life revolves around booze and I've accepted that. He does the bare minimum and I do the same, I don't feel guilty either.