Is it me?

[wrongwithme]

Is there something wrong with me?

I work full time and so does my husband.
We have 6 year old twins that are perfect but so loud and demanding on the weekend.

I miss my husband so much and would love for him to organise a night out for us but he's clueless. Before we had kids, it was always me who organised things but now I see it for the work it is - I want to feel appreciated as there is not much left in the tank.

Have you told him you'd like him to do this?

Yes

In that case, no there is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with him.

Although, assuming he does his fair share at home, he should only be responsible for half the date night bookings, you need to sort the other half.

He's probably not got much left in the tank too. So reasonable to assume neither if you can be arsed to arrange something. Such is the relentlessness parenting.

Talk to him.

Make plans and book something together

Don't make it a game of sitting in resentment because he's not able to read your mind and neither of you have any energy. That's helping noone.

FYI, my (wonderful, supportive) husband and I are 19 years and four children in. We've been meaning to book a holiday since February and still haven't got round to it. We both hope the other will have the mental capacity to take the lead on it, but neither of us do. It'll get done when booking increases in priority over all the other mundane energy-draining aspects of family life. Until then, what would resentment achieve? It's not a priority for either of do and so be it.

Is there something wrong with me?

No. You and your husband are parents of young twins. Life is busy and so you are understandably knackered. Your husband probably is too. Nothing wrong in that - normal responce.

Yeah I agree with you. Twins are difficult and I am making my husband responsible for my energy.

I am so tired. I love my husband to bits but I would love some attention too.

You both work full time. You both have young twins who are hard work. Is he a decent, hands on father? Do you jointly take responsibility for homemaking stuff?

If yes, then you need need a joint discussion on priority. You need to state couple time is a priority for you and work out together what could lower in priority to make that happen.

Also, definite what attention looks like. It could be sitting on same sofa with phones away rubbing each others feet. That's much easier to fit into life than a night out or weekend away.

Yes a very decent hands on father.

In that case, going back to your OP, rather than focusing who's fault it is you don't get couples time I'd suggest instead getting underneath why you feel under appreciated.

My personal thoughts are that "organise a night" sounds like a massive ballache. Both book a school day off work - that's the only planning needed. Then decide on the day what you feel like doing child-free (there's no shame doing something dull like going to a garden centre - the excitement comes from being child free and a couple when you do it)

I second book a day off during school hours and if you can swing it get a play date for after school.

My OH is bad at romantic nights out / birthdays etc. He’s wonderful in every other way I can think of though so I try not to let it get to me and I book the meals out, weekends away etc. I’m not saying that you should do the same, but that’s what I’ve decided to do. I thought about it a lot and decided that wasn’t the hill I wanted to die on, because I’m not perfect either and he never complains about any of my shortcomings.