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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

In a financial panic, which idea is best please?

127 replies

ideasoutof · 01/10/2023 09:16

I am no longer with my partner. We have an 11 month old. Luckily I had my own home I could move back into which I did last weekend. However, last week I have been taking stock of the situation and I am hugely panicking. Basically I don’t know whether to downside to mortgage free and save money from there, or keep plodding on in the hope the house goes up or retains value and then reconsider whether to sell in a year, two years or three years etc, with hopefully more equity. My family are of the opinion that I should stay put and hold on a bit… for context the house is valued at 490, and in the last year has only gone up by 8k, in contrast to the year before where it went up 17k. I know these are valuations and doesn’t mean anything unless someone pays that for it but it’s all I have to give a general idea of where I am potentially at. There’s only 210k equity so family are saying if I hold on a bit longer then I might get that up to 250k down the line and that would make life easier when I move. I’ve sort of accepted I will have to move at some point.

I have around 1k spare a month after expenses but the mortgage is 1,100 and I do feel if I got rid of that then I would be able to relax a bit and maybe even go part time. I can’t do that now. Ex will pay only 420 in maintenance so it’s not helping much.

Would you move into somewhere smaller now or wait it out? I haven’t even had such a stressful financial situation and I’m just so worried about the future.

OP posts:

tescocreditcard · 01/10/2023 09:18

Definitely downsize so your mortgage free. It will be such a load off your mind to have that house security.

mrsbyers · 01/10/2023 09:20

Even assuming prices stay flat you’ll get more equity over time simply by reducing mortgage with your monthly payments

To be honest you sound a bit overwhelmed , I would forget about making any decisions for six months just concentrate on getting settled into new routine and allowing yourself some time to get over the end of your relationship - you really don’t need to make any decisions now

Original poster

ideasoutof · 01/10/2023 09:20

@tescocreditcard thanks. I would still have to get a small mortgage with only 210k equity… just looked this morning and there’s a 2 bed for 275k for example. I can’t relocate at the moment as need to be near family.

OP posts:

zozueme · 01/10/2023 09:20

Don't make any rash decisions - stay where you are for now while things settle down. It sounds as if you can comfortably afford your current place so there is no rush to downsize.

How big is your current property, and is it a house or a flat? Is it close enough to a good school, childcare, park, amenities? All these things will be important especially as your child gets a bit older.

Magicisuponus · 01/10/2023 09:20

Would you be able to get a house that works for you for 200k where you are? If you are happy with what you can get, I’d put your house in the market and see if you get a good offer that allows you to buy a house you’re happy with.

babystep · 01/10/2023 09:20

What would 210k get you in terms of downsizing? Enough space? Right location?

My gut is that selling a house with a baby and while going through a break up would be a lot of stress if you don't need to. I would wait, get to spring at least and then reassess.

Plus will baby be eligible for subsidised childcare in a year, would that help with the money?

happsy · 01/10/2023 09:21

Agree to downsize. Your money worries will be gone and you will be at peace. I would do that without a doubt. You can then start over saving again and in a few years be in a completely different situation but have the security of your own home and options too.

UndercoverCop · 01/10/2023 09:21

What can you buy for 210 in your area? Here it would be a flat in a block not a nice spacious garden flat.
Are there ways you can reduce the mortgage temporarily, extend the term etc after there other outgoings you can reduce? I'd be tempted to hold on. Does your £1100 left include the maintenance?

Original poster

ideasoutof · 01/10/2023 09:22

@zozueme its a four bed, detached, garden, drive. It’s not huge but certainly more than we absolutely need. Prices are quite high here though so the alternative two bed is currently on at 275 for example.

OP posts:

WrongSwanson · 01/10/2023 09:22

I think just don't try and make the decision quite yet. Not for financial reasons but while you process everything that is happening. Moving is stressful and emotional and you have enough on your plate right now. Give yourself a few months at least

Take a look at your income and outgoings. Have you made sure you have applied for everything you are entitled to?

What size house could you buy mortgage free and would it be in an area you would be happy to live?

SparklyLeprechaun · 01/10/2023 09:23

OP, it's early days, you've only moved in a week ago. Settle down first, you've got no immediate money issues if there's £1k left over after bills. Look around at what your money could buy you, figure out if you'd like to live somewhere smaller/different area and take it from there. I'd personally wait a year.

Original poster

ideasoutof · 01/10/2023 09:23

UndercoverCop · 01/10/2023 09:21

@UndercoverCop the alternative 2 bed is 275. Then there’s others coming on Rightmove for 350 ish that are much smaller.

Mortgage is 1,100. I am left with 1,000 which doesn’t include maintenance but I don’t know if I can rely on that as ex partner is always in and out of work.

OP posts:

JustKeepSw1mming · 01/10/2023 09:23

It must be a decent sized house at that value - do you have spare rooms? Could you get a Lodger? Even a Mon-Fri one so you have the house to yourself at weekends?

Original poster

ideasoutof · 01/10/2023 09:24

JustKeepSw1mming · 01/10/2023 09:23

It must be a decent sized house at that value - do you have spare rooms? Could you get a Lodger? Even a Mon-Fri one so you have the house to yourself at weekends?

@JustKeepSw1mming i would worry about this with baby in the house. I have thought it might be a last resort though.

OP posts:

MiniGinny · 01/10/2023 09:25

What mortgage deal do you currently have and is it portable ? If so would the lender allow you to port only part of it?

if not, you’d need to consider any additional loan would be taken out at the current rates.

Poppyblush · 01/10/2023 09:26

If you have £1k spare a month, that’s more than many people so id stay.

zozueme · 01/10/2023 09:26

If you can afford to stay (and it sounds as if you can) I would stay for now and reassess in 6-12 months. While a 4-bed detached house is big for 2 of you, you might outgrow a 2-bed flat quite quickly. Do you have family nearby? Do you often have family come to stay?

You sound like you're actually in a good position financially and owning your own house.

Pumpkinpie1 · 01/10/2023 09:26

I think you need to take a breath and stop overthinking. Moving is very expensive and wastes money . It’s good that you’re vigilant but just stop panicking. It’s not the time for making big decisions you could regret

Persipan · 01/10/2023 09:27

If you've got £1k a month after expletives, I'm not seeing the immediate financial pressure? I get that things must feel really unsettled and out of control right now but from what you're describing, I don't see a need to rush into downsizing (especially at what is not a great time to sell a house anyway). Breathe, take care of yourself and your child, and take stock in a few months.

Howdoesitwork1 · 01/10/2023 09:27

I can't understand the op.

After all bills including mortgage you have 1 grand left?

Or when all other expenses are paid you are left with a mortgage bill of 1 grand left and that means you have nothing left?

ASCCM · 01/10/2023 09:27

I would absolutely stay out for at least 6 months and see how you go.

Moving costs money and the rates are rubbish so you might have a better deal now than you’d have on your next place even on a smaller amount?

If you have room you could consider a lodger ? But honestly I think you’d be fine to stay, at least in the medium term until you are straight in your head.

RoseRows · 01/10/2023 09:28

I think you’re being absolutely ridiculous and should stay put and stop creating problems where there aren’t any.

Caspianberg · 01/10/2023 09:29

I would look at renting out some rooms. If you can find a mother with similar age child, would that work?
I have seen people do similar.

If you have 4 bed than maybe rent out two for Mother with own baby or toddler. Then communal use of downstairs. Your mortgage at £1100 is pretty good, as many flats with 2 beds would now cost £1100 a month. So im sure someone else with young child would snap at the chance of say £500-600 a month rent. You can always just do it for 1-2 years to give yourself time to consider options

whatever1980 · 01/10/2023 09:29

Agree take time to think this over very carefully. It all seems very overwhelming.

As people have said lots to consider - are you currently near family and friends, people who could help with the baby especially in an emergency or at short notice, are you near good reliable affordable childcare, schools with breakfast and after-school clubs, easy commute to work. Ability to take a lodger in future if needs be. Nice to have a garden in future for child?

anything to make life easier.

As you’ve said you’ll a mortgage anyway even for a flat?

if you can pay bills at moment then I’d stay out for now.

Original poster

ideasoutof · 01/10/2023 09:31

Thanks for those who have been genuinely helpful.

To the others criticising me… I have an 11 month old whose father is in and out of work and is not offering any financial input outside of cms. Of course it is stressful. I am totally on my own.

OP posts:

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