To not sleep in a room I can't lock with 20mo?

[guild]

On holiday with 20mo. Just me and her in a room. Room has a sliding door balcony and the door won't lock (lock is broken). It's not a single balcony, it's one long balcony that connects all the rooms on this floor (maybe 10 or 12).

In theory, anyone from another room could come in in the night. I've contacted the emergency number but they don't see it as an emergency and won't change us to a room where the door locks. It's a budget hotel and there's no reception during the night. I cannot sleep knowing anyone could come into the room and harm us or take DD without me knowing.

Would you sleep under these conditions?

Yes just put something in front of the foor and go to bed

It says a lot about how misguided out fears are that your first and only thought is a stranger kidnapping your child (incredibly, incredibly rare) & not your child leaving through the unlocked door and falling off the balcony.

This is how we end up with kids drowning in swimming pools and choking while eating in car seats. People worry themselves about the most rare and sinister circumstances and not the most obvious things.

Can you put your toddler in bed with you? That way if it wakes up to get out of bed you'll know and be on high alert.
My response to people worried that your concerns were of toddler escaping rather than someone breaking in.

I've returned, thanks for posters, I've read them and I'm glad most don't think I'm a hysterical mother overthinking.

My parents are in the same hotel, a few floors down and their balcony door locks so me and Dd bunked in with them for the night (my dad was NOT pleased but I seriously was not able to sleep). We've all had a laugh about it now. Waited for reception to open in the morning and complained and had my room switched for tonight to one with a locking door.

Like one poster said, although the risk of a stranger taking Dd is very small (and my fear was probably fuelled by awful cases in the media like Madeline MCcann) the potential consequence was too great for me. If she had been taken, I don't think I could have said to myself "she might be gone, but at least I slept well!". A seriously disturbed night sleep was worth it for me in the end, so I could be sure I did everything to keep her safe.

I think until dd is older we will be avoiding hotels with balconies where we can! I just couldn't be sure that last night was not the night she decided she wanted to see what was in the balcony (which she has ignored up to now) while I nipped to the loo or something.

It has raised an interesting idea in my mind though. I live in a city and city etiquette is always to lock your doors and the idea of sleeping with an unlocked door onto a communal space really scared me! But it seems a lot of people don't have this fear in their life, it's just interesting to see the difference in a few peoples attitudes.

One of the huge worries for me is that there seem to be a few stag dos in the building and I just kept thinking what if one of them came in on a drunker date or something? Even something as ultimately harmless as that would have terrified me and DD.

Anyway. Thanks all. And for goodness sakes, lock your doors!!!!

• I meant drunken dare, not drunker date

And yes, the issue of being burgled also did cross our minds. I hadn't tried the balcony door so didn't realise until we got back after dinner that it didn't lock and our things had just been sat out all afternoon in a room that was open for other occupants on my floor to enter. Again, unlikely but seriously, they could have at least given me the basic illusion of safety that is a locking door!

Why didn't your dad sleep in your room then if he didn't think it was a big deal and annoyed you came in with them

Well done OP. Living in a house in the country where you don’t have to lock doors is very different to being on holiday, where you don’t know the neighbors/open water access/potential fall/etc. We don’t lock our door at home (small village) but there is no water source in the garden and we have dogs who would alert us to an intruder. I am careful on holiday and when DC was younger secured doors and windows.

I'm glad you have got it sorted today. Sounds like a sensible move for last night - I agree with the posters who say it was unlikely anything bad would happen, but also think the consequences of something bad happening would be so great I definitely wouldn't have been able to sleep either.

I would not be happy - particularly as you are on your own
An intruder climbed up onto the balcony and entered the room I was sharing with my daughter a few years ago.
I woke up and he was in the room.
we were terrified!

Wouldn't bother me. I don't lock our doors at night at home. If it really bothers you I would find somewhere else and try and get my money back.

Push things against the door - furniture if possible. And bags up against it that would fall and make a noise if someone moved them. And have the little one next to you on the side of the bed away from the balcony. And definitely complain in the morning. Sure, it's very very unlikely that anything would happen, but it's completely understandable to be anxious.

Sorry just realised you've sorted everything out!

I stayed at pontins when my son was about 3 in a similar situation. We were miles from home and very poor this was our holiday (sun holiday) and I had no other option, I couldn’t afford to pay to stay for somewhere else. I am a light sleeper, so we slept in the same room (it was a chalet) and I put him furthest from the bedroom door. And we actually had 2 nights with an unlocked door (day and night) before they sorted it out.
so I don’t know, if you can afford to stay elsewhere and it’s upsetting you then do so. If not then you have no choice really. x

Madelines parents were not in bed asleep next to their daughter (or their other two children). They were down the road at a restaurant. It’s very clearly not the same situation at all.

It's not really any different to everyone sleeping in a tent in a campsite. If I was confident the toddler couldn't get out by herself I would be ok and sleep but I would expect a refund from the hotel for the night as it's not really acceptable.

YANBU!!
No way would I dare fall asleep - I'd stand every piece of furniture I could possibly get hold of in front of the door ... but I'd still be terrified! Absobloodylutely you should complain, and not spend a second night like it!

My sister in law is cabin crew and the amount of stories she has about people trying to come into her rooms in hotels at night is horrendous. Her company issues serious advice about how to avoid this and how to secure your hotel room. Look at that terrible murder in Mauritius a few years ago, top hotel etc, but if bad people want to be bad, they will go for hotels and “stupid” tourists. Always make sure your hotel room is safe, lock you passports and valuables in the safe with one shoe that you need. Make sure you know how to get out if there’s a fire. You weren’t stupid, OP, bad shit happens and only you can be responsible for your family’s safety, well done x

I know its not much use now, but I always take plastic door stops/wedges with us in suitcase on holiday.

@Deckchair1009 I have to ask, why lock one shoe (that you need) in a safe?

@guild Glad it's sorted.
I'm another one who wouldn't have slept and would have moved rooms or hotels if nothing better had been organised.

The shoe in the safe is to make sure you don’t forget your valuables when you vacate the room!

Are you being deliberately obtuse and unpleasant? What a disgraceful thing to say to this worried mother. As others on here have said, hotel staff know the lock is broken and it is therefore very possible that other people know as well. It is also possible that the lock has been broken on purpose.

Glad you had the time and calm to email
mumsnet during a traumatic time.

A lock makes a difference because it deters. It is not that easy to break a lock. I would not sleep in a room with a small child when that room opened onto a communcal balcony and the door did not lock. There are people waiting to pounce - paedophilia, rape and burglary are often opportunistic crimes.

What an insightful post several days after anyone else had posted 🙄