Phone addiction

[LittleGlowingOblong]

I know IBVU, but posting here for traffic and advice.

I’m addicted to my smartphone.

I’m a widowed mother currently unemployed. I love my daughter to bits, but at times get bored out my brain from the endless drudgery and lack of stimulation. A combo of bereavement, Covid and the single mother curfew means that my social life has evaporated.

It has to stop. It’s making me less present and I’m setting a bad example.

It seems so necessary for so many of life’s functions that it’s hard to go cold turkey. But I’d say it’s impacting my quality of life in ways that might be hard to detect, because it’s in things that don’t happen, rather than in the things that do happen, where the impact lies.

I’m struggling with ADHD which doesn’t help. But actually it’s the human loneliness which is the worst. It’s turning me into a brain-rotted zombie.

Looking for strategies, apps, brands of dumb phone / kids phone where applications are limited (eg I do find the map function invaluable). Thanks

I spend too long looking at Mumsnet. I really need to cut down. So you have my sympathy with your phone.

What do you spend your time on your phone doing?
Do you play games? That exercises your mind.
Do you read the news? That keeps you informed.
You use Mumsnet - that’s useful for any number of reasons.
Do you scroll, scroll, scroll? Set a timer and put your phone down and keep away from it for 15 or 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes, then 40, then an hour, an so on.
Find a hobby, like reading or needlework.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. We’re all guilty of too much phone-time.

I couldn’t see this post, I thought Mumsnet had somehow spiked it! Thanks for the gentle responses.

i go on Twitter (scrolling, a lot), Facebook not so much, Mumsnet, Duolingo, Wordle, Squareword. I play my son’s Crossy Road, check my emails, research cheap holidays for half term then decide I can’t afford to go anywhere. Etc, etc, etc. A shocking amount of time.

Delete all your apps aside from WhatsApp and maps.
Join a book club and replace that down time with reading. It will take a few weeks for your new reading habit to kick in.

I put mine in a different room to break out of the unconscious/autopilot picking up and scrolling through apps and sites. I feel exactly the same as you op and would prefer to get rid but am kept hooked in by the few things it is useful for!!

I'm guilty of this addiction also.🤯 Too much MN, Candy Crush, general scrolling.

I think I was aware I spent too long on phone but only realised it was an addiction when I started my ADHD meds so where i'd naturally get distracted a lot to do other things, I now had focus and many sites are designed to be addictive as our interaction/clicks is all money, I end up hyper focussing and can lose hours if not careful.
I've had to log out so I don't get notifications to trigger me to looking and at minimum delete apps off main screen so I have go find them. I follow same pattern of sites so if it's not easy to click on app I don't bother so much. Mumsnet is an issue as use website than app but it isn't as addictive as things like Facebook, tiktok etc. There are apps that will limit access to set timespan.

Reminded me that I need to buy some fidget toys to see if this helps keep fingers busy instead of going for phone.

I'd like to just shove phone in a drawer and make use of my poor object permanence to forget it but with ADHD I also I rely on it for so many reminders a day and to access body doubling sites I need to motivate me to do stuff. I did consider getting a cheap phone and only putting what I absolutely need. There's some apps that limit your access to set timespan.

I'm also somewhat isolated and agree it's a social replacement and can give you means to express your voice and feel heard. I'm fine if I'm going out for day with company and otherwise occupied so see if anything going on in local community. I was surprised how much was going on in our dull town and many groups were no to low cost. Some short courses I think you can do free when on certain benefits.

Its ADHD awareness month if want some more productive online activity
Global ADHD conference 5-6th October

ADHD Awareness Expo
TADD Talks for ADHD Awareness

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.stayfocused

You can whitelist apps like calls, messages etc and set it so you can't override the block on anything else. Or just block specific sites and apps

Get an iPad.
Much easier to read text.
😉😁😁.

I use an app called Stay Free. You can set daily limits and white list apps and websites. You can put individual time limits on apps and websites. You can choose the consequences - once you've used your time limit you can either get warnings or be completely locked out of that app/website.

I set my home screen to only have important things on, like Maps, clock timer, WhatsApp, email. Because I'm terrible for picking up the phone to something important but automatically hitting on a social media app then wasting 10 minutes before thinking 'oh hold on, I picked up my phone for a reason, what was it?'.

Just here to sympathise because I think the combination of loneliness, stress and adhd is a perfect storm to create this addiction. These phones and apps are designed to addict us and if you have vulnerabilities then it’s even worse.

https://www.ttfone.com/products/ttfone-tt240

This has WhatsApp and Google maps so you won't be cut off.

Hey I am addicted to my phone and I hate it, especially when I know I'm scrolling or wasting time but can't seem to stop myself makes me feel rubbish. I don't have the fb ig twitter Snapchat or TikTok apps on my phone. I log out of fb on safari so that if I do want to go on it it's an extra step to log in which stops me unless I need to use it for a purpose like fb marketplace or something.

mumsnet has become a real problem for me since having my baby who is now 1. I started using it for info to help with the baby but would just scroll and scroll reading endless posts especially whilst breastfeeding / being nap trapped. Now I'm addicted and I don't think how it makes me feel. The only thing I can think to do is log out completely/ delete my account. But you can read posts without an account and often if you google something mumsnet posts are shown.

i don't know how to block it on my iPhone doesn't seem a way. I also do want to be able to still use it sometimes I just wish I didn't use it so much. Even writing this I think I sound ridiculous.

I got rid of all social media after watching videos and research about how bad it is for our brains. But u have to replace ur time with something else. I increased my reading time. But I think u should find a hobby. U need something to fill the time u spend on ur phone or u will just go back on.

I love learning new things. Never care what it is. So I’m at the library or at the charity shops looking for new books to read.

I have an awful habit of unconsciously unlocking my phone and clicking into WhatsApp/Insta/FB without realising, or reading anything. I have my phone on me all the time.

At work I leave it in my bag or in a drawer. My colleague commented that I was only on it. I was so embarrassed as I didn't realise I was constantly unlocking it to check notifications (of which I had none, if I was only checking when I got a message, that would be hardly ever)

I found that linking notifications to my smart watch helped, as I could see I got a message and check it quickly, then put phone away again. Broke my watch, now back as bad as I was.

Going to make more of an effort to put it away at home.

Spotted this article earlier while reading the news which lists some apps
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-66934688

This is what I need, I think… thank you!

I have set my notifications on here to only when the OP has updated the post, so when that’s me I don’t get any notifications, hence slow to come back and update!

Unfortunately it doesn’t mean I haven’t spent hours on here (I have three names on here to prevent outing myself across threads).

Thank you for the compassionate responses.

It’s so addictive, such a waste of my life, and such a bad example to my child, that I think I’m going to get a dumber phone. I like the look of the one @waterboatman linked to.

(One reason I’m on Twitter so much is that I love the hugely interesting, funny, and quirky account of someone local… I liked it for ages then it turned out he’s a school dad at the same school, and it turns out he’s just as lovely IRL. He seems to do all parenting around pick-ups and weekend activities so for a long time I wrongly assumed he was a single dad. In fact I thought he was on Twitter so much because he was lonely too. It’s all very foolish and very much a secret lonely widow crush but it’s time I nipped it in the bud. A secret crush has maybe been a sort of safe way to recover part of myself emotionally after bereavement (5 years ago now) but it’s not healthy.

Sorry, an unexpected ramble there …. now time to get off my phone and try to get some sleep!

I'm also somewhat isolated and agree it's
a social replacement and can give you means to express your voice and feel heard.

Aaaah , this what it is for me.
I have adhd and constantly mull things over and it’s great to be able to ‘discuss things’ or (imv) make an interesting point.
My few friends hardly mention the news apart from the odd rant, mostly about politicians. It’s so good to hear other people’s views without others thinking you are odd and avoiding you.

Exactly…