Children with SEN

[2024815pm]

Following on from another post from a parent with SEN children being avoided by family and friends. And please excuse my ignorance here, I mean no offence. I was in a restaurant today, quite small in the country with little corridors going off in different directions and as we walked in we heard what sounded like coughing/barking. It want on for a while and tbh I was concerned that someone with a cold or something contagious was around.. However we could also hear the most joyous laughter, real proper giggles. The cough could clearly be heard from the restaurant and some people were getting annoyed. Sorry I'm really not explaining this right. As time went on I could tell that it was a child with SEN as could anyone else with half a brain cell. The happiest little girl with gorgeous black hair was pushed past in her wheelchair by her doting family. I wanted to say ' hello' to her but was so afraid of upsetting her if she's already out of her comfort zone at a restaurant. I guess it's not really an AMIBU but maybe people are afraid of scaring/ offending/setting progress back. Absolutely not an excuse for families obviously but it's really hard for people who don't have any experience to do the right thing in case they do the wrong thing if you're parent can you give any advice. Again I'm sorry if I've caused offence

I have 2 children with complex needs and what has been shocking to me is how many people pretend they can't even see them . Even neighbours who have lived next door for several years will not even acknowledge them when I am walking past with them in their wheelchairs .
People genuinely act like they are invisible I would not have believed it if I hadn't experienced it myself.
SO I would like people to know that when anyone takes the time to smile at and speak to our kids it means so much to us as parents even if our children cannot always respond. We love our kids and are proud of them just like other parents .
We understand that it can be hard to do and that some people are v awkward around disability and consequently we would not be easily offended if someone made the effort even if they didn't quite know what to say. Eye contact , a smile and hello is all it really requires.

Thank you for your reply. And in future I will try to say ' hi' to parents and smile to the child. I did feel that the little girl was being rushed out by her parents as other diners were getting irritated

@2024815pm
unfortunately people can be intolerant especially as kids get older. One of ours can have huge meltdowns and then we draw attention for all the wrong reasons .It is the one time people do acknowledge him as a rule ! But it is accompanied by lots of silent judgement and sometimes the odd muttered comment.. You have to grow a v tough hide as a parent of SEN kids as a rule. Mostly I ignore other people's reactions to my children but once in a while someone lovely will make my day by taking the time to talk to them .
Eg a few weeks ago we were in a restaurant and a lovely lady came up to tell us what beautiful curly hair out youngest son has.
Now I may be biased of course but he really is a beautiful little boy and it was great that someone else could see it as well if that makes sense. Children like my two are unfortunately seen as being of little value in today's world where beauty money ,success etc are all important. Most people can't see their worth so when somebody takes the time to hold our sons hand and talk to him with respect it means the world to us. And believe me those people are v few and far between.

See I wanted to say hello to the little girl and if she was ok maybe do a wee high five but it's so difficult to be friendly but not cross boundaries

I'm so sorry that this is what you and your family are dealing with Your kids are amazing, they're fighting battles every single day that we can't even imagine

Sorry that's for flapjackfairy