Am I too relaxed or is this teaching independence

[ItsjustaWee]

DS is 5 (just this month)

I am letting him do a lot more by himself at home eg, toilet, getting himself a drink without asking me. My opinion is he is old enough to go to school he has to be able to do things for himself.

this started a bit of a debate tonight. DH was getting baby to sleep. I was settling DS5. I let home go to the loo by himself. DH insisted I should be ‘chaperoning’ DS to make sure he turned the light out, washed hands etc. I said he should know to do that and I trust him to, how else will he learn? Yes he might make a mess with the water or forget the light, but that him learning and I don’t mind cleaning up and telling him next time “be more careful of the water when you go”

DH called this a cop out.

AIBU to think I shouldn’t have to hover over a 5yo in his own home?

And it goes without saying that if he did need me, he knows he could call me and I’ll come running!

@Cognitivedisonance disgraceful 😂😂😂😂

Ask your husband what age his mummy stopped wiping his bottom.

My 2 year old goes to the loo by herself... and washes her hands... with soap. I sort of wish I was joking but she actually asks you to leave. (Obviously after a poo I do do a quick wipe but she's normally done pretty well).

My 4.5 year old is absolutely capable of doing those things himself (though he has only really been so in the last 6 months, largely because he's a lazy sausage). He does tend to make a good awful mess when brushing his teeth. And I always make sure I do an extra brush for all 3 of them once a day.

Does your DH think a teacher is checking this when DS is at school? If he does then he's going to be very disappointed.

Does your husband know that there are 5 year olds actually working in some developing countries? 😢

Eh? Dd is only just 4 and takes herself to the loo, gets herself a cup of water etc. She's learned to get herself a drink from the bathroom sink because its easier to reach!

My 6 y old measures the oats & milk and makes his own porridge on the hob with me in the room. He'll use a cutlery knife to chop a banana and add it in too.

My dc has just turned 5 and I trust him to go to the toilet by himself and have done for 2 years. He generally gives me a shout if he needs help wiping his bottom. I keep an ear out to listen for the toilet flush, tap for washing hands and the door closing. If he forgets anything I shout out a reminder. I agree the independence needs to be taught however I also keep an eye on things such as how quickly he dresses for school or bed. I can guarantee that most nights I have to step in and help but simply because he is too tired after school.

I know and almost 6 year old who still uses the potty only and who is never told to wash her hands afterwards because she isn’t even wiping.. and she is not a sen child …so you are definitely doing the right thing

Of course you don’t need to supervise that. Why would a child need to be constantly monitored and corrected in something so basic and regular

I'm not sure either!

I think this op is all about op wanting some kind of validation that her parenting is ok. It's all common sense to most of us!