Am I the wrong here? - sorry for the long post!

[Ladybug17]

So the back story is that we recently decorated the front of our house and used decorative stones to outline the front area, we had quite a lot left over which we stored in our driveway to the side. We share a driveway with our neighbour and the stones were hidden to the side in our part.

Neighbour asks my DH one day if he can have the stones. DH says no we will be using them for our back garden. A few days later neighbour messages my DH saying 'Still ok to use the stones?' DH says ' No as i said we will be using them'

FYI - The neighbour is a bit odd and doesn't get on with any of the other neighbours but my DH always tried to help him out when they need something.

A week later I walk past their front garden and the tarpaulin they have laid in their garden is held down by our stones! I message DH to ask if he had given them permission to use the stones and the answer was a definite no! BTW I am so angry at this point that they have just taken what they wanted!

DH then speaks to neighbour pointing out that he has used our stones. The neighbour had tried to cover the stones up so we wouldn't see. Neighbour then says he took those before DH replied to his message saying not to (Not acknowledging that he was told no in the first place!) Anyway apparently neighbour is very apologetic and says he will return them.

I am 19 weeks pregnant with twins and unfortunately had a threatened miscarriage a week later so was hospitalised and then I was staying with family to rest and recover as DH had to be at work.

So fast forward to 3.5 weeks later I am back home and settle and mentioned to my DH that neighbour still hasn't returned stones however 2 days later neighbour receives a delivery of his own stones and returns outside and sends a message to my DH saying they have been returned.

I am absolutely outraged and livid that this person has taken from us and returned them so brazenly in his own time without so much as an apology.

Anyway today we go for a walk and as we are returning home neighbour shouts out to my DH ' did you get my message I returned the stones' as if he did is a favour! My DH replies ' yeah, have a good night' I couldn't help myself and said ' it took long enough!' At which point neighbour says ' I can't hear what you said' I then repeated it and he walked towards us quite aggressively at which point DH is ushering me towards our door. Neighbour then starts walking towards us repeating what he said and I said calmly ' if you have taken someone's belongings you should return them and even there is miscommunication it shouldn't take 4 weeks to pit them back where you found them' Neighbour is then quite aggressive in the way he's talking and walking.

My DH then told him to go back to his house and ushers me indoors.

(Neighbour is around late 50s and I doubt he would do anything aggressive) but I was shocked at his reaction.

Anyway back home we walk in and DH lays into me for 'mouthing off' and creating a problem as we have to live here! I am so shocked that he is so angry at me for standing up for us and not at the thieving neighbour! DH is now saying I have caused a massive problem we have to bring our kids up here and so on. I just don't understand why he cannot see that this neighbour was taking advantage of our good nature and also taking something we paid a lot of money for!

We've now had an argument which has ruined my day and one of the first days I have felt myself since hospital and has completely ruined our evening due to our neighbour!

I just don't understand what I have done wrong here and why my DH thinks I am in the wrong? Can someone help me understand?

But in the time he's actually been using them you have had no further plans for the stones. If he hadn't actually used them they would have just sat there unused. That's why it seems petty. Him using them temporarily has actually made no difference to your plans for the stones.

Also with your husband. Neighbour disputes are hell so save it for things that really matter, not somebody moving some unused stones a few metres away for a couple of weeks.

Not that long ago, there was a a man who murdered his neighbours over a parking dispute while their children slept in the next room. Your husband is right to humour this raving mentalist. I think you've got a lot going on and focusing on this dispute over stones was maybe a way to channel feeling away from a difficult pregnancy. No harm done though. Forget it and move on.

I imagine your DH is understandably scared that your aggressive neighbour might physically hurt you and your babies. That's a lot of pressure on your DH and you stirred things up. I completely agree with your viewpoint but...you need to step back whilst you are vulnerable.

I know, that’s why I said it was galling. I would be hugely annoyed too, but I wouldn’t have chipped in.

Thank you so much for your really understanding message. I think you are right, it is hormonal and it really bothered me but I think it's just the stress of the past few weeks.

Thank you for being so kind 😊

The use of them was for our back garden but plans changed and we didn't use them when we wanted to as I was taken into hospital.

Thanks for your thoughts though.

I think you are right and have his the nail on the head, thank you for being so kind 😊

Your neighbour was undoubtedly wrong but you said yourself they are a bit strange.

For the sake of some stones I would have just written it off, I mean unless they were particularly expensive?

It’s not something to be raging over, especially when pregnant.

it’s annoying but it’s not the end of the world, people are strange 🤷‍♀️

Thank you, they were expensive but I think that's besides the point.

You are right, thank you!

Dear ladybug you are not in the wrong. The CF will just continue to do what he wants. You need to call up CF or they just continue to take advantage.

Of course the neighbour was wrong. But it was not worth starting an argument over it no. Look after yourself.

Thank you that was my thought too. If we don't say anything he will just continue with this entitled behaviour!

The issue was over, no matter how annoyed or hormonal you were or are. Your DH and the neighbour have ended the issue. The neighbour is an arse, as you said. There was zero reason for your comment other than to annoy the neighbour.

Sometimes you have to know when to keep your trap shut, or when to say something.

Better to concentrate on your pregnancy and getting ready for having the babies at home.

ITS SOME FUCKING STONES!! LET IT GO!!