So, you may need some background info. Eldest ds is autistic prone to very challenging behaviour, much much better recently and we are really out the otherside for the most part and this isn't the subject of the post.
Ds and I disagreed with me on something very very trivial today, as a result he threw the remote at me (it didn't make contact).
When dp came home, he asked what happened to the remote. I said, "ds threw it at me".
Dp replied "what for?".
"I replied, "does it matter what for, you're making it sound like it may be justified?"
He thinks I am.over reacting and maybe I am, because of the upset with ds, but to me "what for" insinuates there may be some blame laid at the victims feet (me, in this case)
Yabu. He clearly meant what happened, you're over sensitive.
Yanbu. You are correct and "what for" is not appropriate when you have been hit or otherwise.