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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour complaining

8 replies

Asi97 · 30/09/2023 14:03

We have lived in our property for 5 years. Prior to us buying the flat it was empty for years. We have a 11month old son- were out the house most days and are all in bed by 21:30 most nights. Our elderly neighbours who live below us complain about noise from us as DS wakes quite around 6;30. He's fairly quite in the mornings but obviously were up and walking about. The neighbours have complained quite a few times that we have been annoying them e.g creaking sounds.I apologise and say that we will try our best to be quieter- which we do, we have rugs/carpeted floors.
Its annoying as they have access to our garden to enter their own, they also have a very low fence (about 4ft) so they can see straight into our garden. Often when we do use the garden which isn't very often they come out. I have considered getting a large fence for some privacy, but felt bad on them as would block out their light (their very keen gardeners). But after a summer of barely using our garden I am considering it.
Another issue is the husband who lives below is very deaf. I have caught him watching porn multiple times (at least every few weeks) with his patio doors/curtains open so I can see him watching it from our garden-which is very unpleasant. His wife is obviously unaware of this, he has it on very loud and I can hear it when I have my bedroom window open. I have never said anything to his wife despite her complaints against us, as she is old and don't want tension. However I am getting a little fed up.

OP posts:
pinkyredrose · 30/09/2023 14:12

Put rugs down and a fence up. The porn is gross, why wouldn't you mention it when it affects you? You really don't want your kids hearing it

Thementalloadisreal · 30/09/2023 14:15

If you own the fence (check the deeds!) then definitely get a higher fence, you shouldn’t have to risk your kids seeing/hearing his porn so their flowers get sunlight! We have high fences where I am and our gardens do just fine. If you’re legally allowed to put a new fence in then definitely do that. If she complains you could be petty and mention that you’re sorry for blocking out the light but you’re actually trying to block out her husband’s TV “habits”

VeridicalVagabond · 30/09/2023 14:18

Next time they moan at you about the noise, smile sweetly, say "oh I am sorry, we'll try and keep the noise down. While we're on the subject though, would you mind turning the volume down next time you're watching Hardcore Stepmom Anal late at night with the windows open? It's a bit loud and I'd rather the baby not hear. Thanks!" then breeze off.

Hopefully that'll embarrass them into leaving you alone.

Limth · 30/09/2023 14:19

"Tell you what, neighbour, I'll start keeping my perfectly legitimate and reasonable family noises to an absolute minimum when your husband stops watching pornography at top volume in the garden. How's that for a deal?"

FictionalCharacter · 30/09/2023 14:19

Start putting yourself and your own family first, not pandering to these people. Putting up a higher fence is fine and perfectly normal. And tell him that you don’t want to hear see and hear his porn.
Being elderly doesn’t give them a licence to be bad neighbours.

UncomfortableSofa · 30/09/2023 14:27

It's your home as much as theirs is theirs. Fence up and the next time they complain about noise mention the loud porn.

MaybeOneAndDone · 30/09/2023 15:21

If you are worried about blocking their light, a lattice fence like this would probably work well.

The noise complaints are ridiculous and you shouldn't apologise for noise that is simply a result of normal use of your property.

Just say something along the lines of. "I am sorry, but this is part and parcel of living in a flat. We are not doing anything wrong by simply using our property as a family home. The council would tell you that noise associated with everyday living is not grounds for a complaint."

If they continue to bring it up, just tell them to take it up with council of they believe the noise is excessive. Most councils have something on their website which explains what constitutes grounds for a noise complaint, and explicitly rule out babies crying, etc.

Neighbour complaining
Thementalloadisreal · 30/09/2023 23:53

A lattice fence won’t block out his TV though

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