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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Can't tell if it's a "me problem", so maybe I'm BU

11 replies

chatenoire · 30/09/2023 13:53

I've been doing this job for almost 2 years now, haven't ever been properly told off and maybe there are things that could improve but nothing major. A lot of our workload depends on the sales people, so if they don't involve us, our workload can be pretty low. Now, there's two of us and we both started at the same time.

She comes from a Project Management background whereas I come more from an operational background with some product and sales sprinkled in.

We went through two waves of redundancies and we both survived.

Like I said our workload is dependent on third parties, and I'm not always necessarily super busy with my core job, but I do get busy because of my broader background and she doesn't. She's always made comments like "I don't understand why you're not as busy, etc..."

Anywho... she's getting certified as a PM and is bringing more "rigour" to what is really the core of our role. I find that side extremely boring and I'm more of a "good enough" rather than "excellent". I've always found her quite bossy too, and she always seems to have to have an opinion.

So last week I had to travel all week for work (I also happen to travel more than her for some reason), and toward the end I was quite tired. Because someone else screwed up, we had to have a look at all the work related to one particular aspect of one account. We both worked on it which is rare and the whole finger pointing during one particular call (when remember I had been travelling all week and just got home) really got me. I even messaged my boss about it.

I've been thinking of making a lateral move anyway, but maybe I'm reading too much into it? Maybe just talk to my boss about the lateral move?

Sorry if you've read this, you deserve a medal. I'm just exhausted

OP posts:
BigFatLiar · 30/09/2023 13:55

She may be trying to manipulate her way into being seen as managing you.

KakiFruit · 30/09/2023 13:56

It's hard to tell really. Not great if you find your core job boring and don't do a great job, but does that affect her?

What did your boss say?

Original poster
chatenoire · 30/09/2023 14:04

KakiFruit · 30/09/2023 13:56

It's hard to tell really. Not great if you find your core job boring and don't do a great job, but does that affect her?

What did your boss say?

I mean I don't perform terribly... at the same time, if I get involved with 3 other different teams because I can, and I want to. It doesn't really affect her, does it?

My boss apologised if the call felt the way it did to me. I did mention that my week had been great, and that call was a complete downer.

OP posts:
FictionalCharacter · 30/09/2023 14:08

BigFatLiar · 30/09/2023 13:55

She may be trying to manipulate her way into being seen as managing you.

This is how it looks to me too.

Original poster
chatenoire · 30/09/2023 14:11

Oh and the other thing that REALLY got me. Our colleague came and I was his companion for the week (reason for all the travelling) and I'm supposed to be the "specialist" in that product.

To an extent part of our role is to create "product descriptions"... Considering who I was with ALL WEEK and what my "side gig" is, it's only natural that I write that description, right? Well, she approached him and asked him if it was OK for her to send him her notes on the product so she could write said product description.

OP posts:
margotrose · 30/09/2023 14:11

It just reads to me like you don't really care about your job much, whereas she does.

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/09/2023 14:14

If she’s doing her certification she’ll be hyper vigilant in terms of process etc because that’s where her focus lies. You’re not interested in that part but she may need to produce evidence of following a particular process for her qualification. I’d give it time, she’ll want “perfect” because she’s going to need the evidence, then she can settle into something that feels more measured.

In the meantime I’d have an honest look at whether there are areas you need to address in terms of tightening up a bit, and whether this job is right for you.

Original poster
chatenoire · 30/09/2023 14:17

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/09/2023 14:14

If she’s doing her certification she’ll be hyper vigilant in terms of process etc because that’s where her focus lies. You’re not interested in that part but she may need to produce evidence of following a particular process for her qualification. I’d give it time, she’ll want “perfect” because she’s going to need the evidence, then she can settle into something that feels more measured.

In the meantime I’d have an honest look at whether there are areas you need to address in terms of tightening up a bit, and whether this job is right for you.

If this job becomes super rigorous in that sense, I know it's not the job for me. The company on the other hand is.

I know I can be better, in fact I wouldn't mind if she has to check that side of this for me, if it makes her happy, good for her.

I prefer the commercial side of things and some of the technical bits too. Things that are also part of our role and I excel substantially more.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 30/09/2023 14:19

It sounds like your skill sets should compliment each other, rather than clash. She may need support to look at her communication style if she’s rubbing folk up the wrong way.

Original poster
chatenoire · 30/09/2023 14:31

Jellycatspyjamas · 30/09/2023 14:19

It sounds like your skill sets should compliment each other, rather than clash. She may need support to look at her communication style if she’s rubbing folk up the wrong way.

Exactly!! I think in that sense we should be a very good team that can and should collaborate

In fact, during the redundancy waves I even told her that I was looking to diversify so there was always room for both of us.

OP posts:
Original poster
chatenoire · 30/09/2023 16:14

So is the consensus that messaging my boss was not out of place?

OP posts:
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