Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell the truth about Father Christmas?

47 replies

ReallyFatherChristmas · 30/09/2023 12:15

I have 4 dc
Dc1 and 2 where told that Santa isn't real in y6, they kind of knew any way but I just wanted to make sure before they went to secondary school

Dc3 I told in y5 because he asked

I've no problem with them knowing as soon as they're inquisitive enough to ask

However.... DC4

He's another story. He's 7, will be 8 just before Christmas. I feel he's quite young, however I'm happy for him to know the truth as he's a very serious and skeptical child, and he's said for over a year that he doesn't think Father Christmas is real.

Here is the dilemma. He's a terrible secret keeper. He can't keep gifts a surprise and I think even if he was made to promise, he would eventually let it slip to his friends/other children in his class. I know some of the other parents are really into Santa and would not be happy if they found out through my son.

So what do I do??
I've put it off so far saying things like what do you think? And if Santa isn't real then how do you get presents, etc but he keeps asking outright and it seems wrong to lie

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 30/09/2023 14:49

Let him keep the magic of Christmas for a bit longer. It's not like it's hurting anything!

pinku22 · 30/09/2023 14:57

A child in DD's class told her at age 8 and she became skeptical after that. It really hurt me as I felt she was too young.

DD2 is now 8 and still believes.

I told DD1 that Santa is real. Santa is magical, that it is not really a person but an idea and when you're old enough you become Santa for your loved ones etc

User3735 · 30/09/2023 15:25

Confirm to him. Warn other parents on the group chat if there is one that he read about it in Superfudge by Judy Blume, and you had no idea that this was in the book and you are so angry and upset about it but just wanted to pre-warn them 😇. Find someone else to blame. Tbi, I find the parents who get hysterical about this way OTT. My kids find out all sorts of things I don't want them to from school (horror themes, junk food etc) it is just what you have to accept of you choose to send your child to school. Your son has a personality where he needs the truth more than a lie.

User3735 · 30/09/2023 15:28

I have the opposite problem that I have a year 6 child that still believes despite me always being very vague about the whole thing because it wasn't in my family culture to believe.

thecatinthetwat · 30/09/2023 15:35

If he wants the answer then you should give it to him. Then you’ll have have to work hard to explain how what we say to others affects how they feel about us. There may be fall out, but you’ll manage it.

Bootskates · 30/09/2023 15:39

I'd tell him the truth. He is asking you outright and I wouldn't lie to his face, especially as you say he is very serious. My DD is the same and I'd worry that her remembering me lying to her face would impact her trust in me as she is prone to taking things to heart (and has the memory of an elephant!)

That is more important to me than the possibility of other parents being irked she let slip to them at 8. Maybe different at 5 or something.

She's almost 9 now and hasn't believed for the last year or so. Christmas is still special and she is already so excited for this year. We still do stockings/reindeer food etc for traditions sake

liveforsummer · 30/09/2023 15:45

I never told my kids. At nearly 11 and nearly 14 they obviously no longer believe- we all just play along. It's more fun that way 😁

Starlightstarbright2 · 30/09/2023 15:49

My Ds asked me about year 5 … I thought he knew but wanted reassurance . I was very cornered and busy don’t think I handled it the best - he sobbed for 2 hours - so my point don’t assume he knows.

Sprogonthetyne · 30/09/2023 17:25

At least half the kids in his class will either know or suspect by 7/8, it's not a big deal. I'd possibly remind him not to tell if your visiting a 4yo cousin on Christmas eve, but beyond that wouldn't worry.

HairHeGoesHairHeGoesAgain · 30/09/2023 17:35

newlystyle · 30/09/2023 14:40

My son is just turned 7 and almost everyone in his class knows it's not real. I would be surprised that a 7year old still believes this!

Really? At least 90% of my DCs year 2 class absolutely believe.

I'd say a solid 50/60% of my year three class do, and probably 40/50% of my year fours.

Original poster
ReallyFatherChristmas · 30/09/2023 18:02

Thanks all, I'll wait and see if he brings it up again and if he asks specifically I'll tell him but work on him keeping shtum

OP posts:
Blondeshavemorefun · 30/09/2023 18:09

Sounds like this is the last Xmas so prolong the magic and enjoy his last Xmas

Don't tell him

But I've always said tell by the time they go to secondary school or will get teased

lanthanum · 30/09/2023 18:17

DH was absolutely furious when he discovered his parents had been lying to him. Even at that age, for him telling the truth came above all else.
So DD has always known Santa isn't real. She knew that she must play along with the story and not spoil it for those who believed it, and didn't let slip until she was about 9 - the child in question had pretty much worked it out anyway, and his mum wasn't bothered.
If yours will find it harder to play along at school, can you do a bit of role-play at home with the help of his siblings, so he can practise things to say? Tell him you'll still do all the hanging up stockings and so on, so he can play along more easily.

Didimum · 30/09/2023 18:56

Hufflemuff · 30/09/2023 12:45

I would be heartbroken as a kid if my mum told me Santa was all a lie. I remember sort of feeling like it wasn't real in y5 but I still made sure I was fast asleep early on Christmas eve - "just incase!!" I felt so happy seeing that the mince pie had disappeared from the plate, even if I was skeptical it was nice to pretend to myself!!

Id also be pretty fucked off if a child in my DD class told her that their mum said Santa was all pretend and it made my DD start to question things.

That’s a ‘you’ problem. It’s not the job of another parent to uphold your children’s beliefs.

Feetupteashot · 30/09/2023 19:01

My line is not to spoil it for other people. Someone in my ds class told her when she was 4 and it really boils my piss. We don't go around telling people God doesn't exist

Blondeshavemorefun · 30/09/2023 19:48

As you say he can't keep a secret I wouldn't say anything as he may let slip to a child who still believes

BoardTopChair · 30/09/2023 20:03

I feel like if your child tried to ruin the magic of Christmas for my son I might be tempted to tell my son that this child is so naughty that FC doesn't visit his/her house and that their parents have to lie to cover it up and buy all the presents themselves Grin I wouldn't but I would feel tempted. Luckily my youngest child is in sixth form.

In school there are children every year who gleefully announce that they are in on the secret and FC isn't real and I am the one who sees their crestfallen faces, luckily I tell them that my children hang their stockings up for FC and they are full on Christmas day. Fact. I just don't say who fills them. The children at school knew that my children were much older than them. It seemed to confirm and comfort them.

Zanatdy · 30/09/2023 20:06

I don’t think you should have to keep lying if child is asking just to protect other kids. Surely not all kids in the class will believe anyway. Mine grew up in a very multi cultural area and even their own cousins didn’t celebrate Christmas so lots of kids who will be saying Santa isn’t real. Parents will have an answer ready, whether they believe it or not is another matter

LBFseBrom · 14/11/2023 14:35

Tell him the truth, he's nearly eight! I bet most of the children in his year don't believe in Father Christmas but keep up the pretence for their parents' sake.

LlynTegid · 14/11/2023 14:38

@ReallyFatherChristmas so how has it gone, OP?

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/11/2023 15:33

If nearly 8 then he's 7

That means if according to you that this is my dd6 last Xmas she believes

As will be 7 early next year so won't believe Xmas 24

I hope not tbh

Want another year or two for her sake and the magic

Original poster
ReallyFatherChristmas · 14/11/2023 17:25

LlynTegid · 14/11/2023 14:38

@ReallyFatherChristmas so how has it gone, OP?

I've not told him, many because he's not really asked again out right. He's said things like he doesn't believe reindeer can fly so that means Father Christmas isn't real, but there's definitely a part of him that still believes so I'm letting him believe unless he asks me straight.

At least then he can have this Xmas believing and if he asks I'll tell him well in advance for next year

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread