To think it would actually be better for ds to be in nursery?

[tlja]

Ds is 11 months. I didn’t plan to go back to work until he was 2.5 ish.

But… he is clearly bored with me! In the last month or so he needs to be out of the house or entertained in some way that doesn’t involve sitting him watching me cook or clean. Obviously I have to do these things so wonder if actually nursery would be better for him, at least some of the week? I end up feeling totally stretched getting through the day and entertaining him non stop or dealing with crying when I’m simply trying to put a wash on!

AIBU to think nursery would actually be good for him? (I’m aware it would probably be good for me 😂 but I’m specifically asking for him..)

I would try to fill your week up with groups and classes then that’s the morning filled up, home for a sleep and some afternoon things at home or see people or go out doing whatever else you need to do.

Hey! If your little one is high energy and at 11 months is moving around already, two half days at nursery would be great for you and him. It’s obviously playing on your mind atm, so why not try it. I do have to say depending on where you are there can be a waiting list, so if you are thinking of it, why not visit a few around your area and pop him onto a waiting list if there is one. I mean sometimes you can visit the nursery and decide it might not be for you and him. We took little one in for a viewing at 9months old, and decided it wasn’t time yet and back at 12months and I was all for it then.
Establishing some sort of routine with him would be great for you and him. There are a lot of classes or free playgroups around, calling up your children centre and asking for a timetable you can see everything available in that centre. If not there’s always farm, swimming, music classes, baby massages around too.
i personally can’t stay at home for more than a day, so from six weeks old my DD has always had a routine, but it was more for my mental health than her At that point, but from around ten months on (she’s two now) the sing and sign really paid off as she could tell me when she was tired, wants milk or snacks.
But like I said if nursery is playing on your mind, go for a couple of visits to a few different nurseries, and it will become more clear with what you would like for your son.

So many judgy posts on here that YOU should be doing more!! All my 3 kids started nursery when they were 1 for couple of days a week. They bloody love it. They do stuff at nursery that I wouldn’t think to do with them and love socialising with other children and honestly I love having bit of time to myself to get the boring jobs done so when I am with them we are doing fun stuff. Do what is right for you!

PS from experience those starting nursery at 2.5 struggle to settle so much more than those who started earlier. I’m biased as our nursery is absolutely amazing!

No, I don't think he'd be better off in nursery. This is very much an age where you need to be out and about with them a lot, and then just slot housework into any free moments, rather than it being the priority.

They aren't like a tiny baby where they will sit and watch you, you need to go and do things with them, go out places etc.

@Babyboomtastic we do, everyday, but there’s still periods of being in the house and it’s clear within 15 mins they’ve had enough 🤦‍♀️

If you've got the choice, I'd go back to work for 3 days and put him in nursery. You still get 4 days quality time with him and you'll enjoy it as life will be more balanced.

@KateyCuckoo he’s 11 months, well on his way to be a toddler! Other kids are fascinating at that age, and they entertain each other just by existing. Kids are mobile at 11 months, and insatiably curious. For a high energy child, other kids and space are essential at this age, just like a mellow child would still be happy at home. There is no one size fits all for children

Also I forgot to add my main point. YANBU. I think you should just do what works for you.

occasionally I have the day of work and I still put LO to nursery because it’s already paid for anyway, he loves it so much, and then I have a little break myself!

Mine went to nursery at 1 year for a couple of days a week, had a day with DH, a day with me and a day with grandparents. I think the mixture was good for him - different people tended to do different things with him! He wouldn't play with other children that young but did like watching them, and watching older kids too. So yes I think it can be good for them and gives you a break so you have more energy for them when they are with you (which is also good for them). You might be able to do a couple of half days if it just for a break/getting all the jobs done.

At this age I returned to work with all of my children, part time with one day at nursery and one half day when I was at home. I use this to do housework so that I can focus more on play and activities. It has done wonders for my mental health (Baby DS4 will be doing the same shortly) and has been great for their socialisation.

I find playgroups quite stressful as parenting styles are so different and the kids can get mixed messages. Some ok to let their kids hit others and not be addressed, some micromanaging every move and over apologising for taking a toy and other totally normal things that kids do.

If you have the money for a few days nursery when you’re not working then another option could be a cleaner for a fair few hours per week instead. Cooking and laundry doesn’t take too much time with just one child.

@tlja mine were the same, absolutely loved their childminder with other kids, a big garden and long walks every day (youngest walked really early). Not happy at home doing “pottering around” stuff. Still hate that, can entertain themselves in a field for hours though and no behavioural issues as long as they get enough exercise.

Is it being in the house that he's objecting to, or you doing chores?

If it's the latter then frankly 15m is pretty good at this age. You may find it easier to go and out a wash on or something with a 5 minute interval, or leave it mostly to nap and evening (or when he's eating).

Morning!

Nursery absolutely can be beneficial for both parent and child, and that's definitely an option. Lots to think about though.

However, nurseries are expensive; for the price of putting him in 2 days a week, you could hire a cleaner/housekeeper.

• Mornings spent at playgroups/playground/library/swimming

• Home for lunch

• Nap

• Play at home in the afternoon

If you hire a cleaner/housekeeper/Parents help 2 mornings a week, they can clean and do the washing while you are out. Then when baby is napping, you have time to refresh/do any jobs that you need to do.

I find playgroups quite stressful as parenting styles are so different and the kids can get mixed messages. Some ok to let their kids hit others and not be addressed, some micromanaging every move and over apologising for taking a toy and other totally normal things that kids do.

Surely, this is the same at nursery? The nursery staff/behaviour policy is never going to align 100% with your exact wishes and ideas as a parent. So kids get the same mixed messages that home and nursery have different rules, which I think is fine BTW - they seem to adapt to this just fine, the same as they do with seeing children being subject to different rulesets when out in public.