Good solution or crazy idea?

[ppau]

I want my dc to go to a local private school. (Please don’t turn the thread into a state v private debate!)

I had a very good job until recently when my mental health took a turn for the worst. Due to an awful turn of events DC’s father is not with us so we have no additional financial support.

I have minimal savings but my parents own four homes. They have said these will be passed on to me and my brother. Obviously things can change, I know that! But the plan is we would inherit two each. They are not massively high value, around 350k each.

I have 250k equity in my house which is valued at 500k. I’m 38. I am thinking of selling, taking out 100k and starting again somewhere smaller with 150k deposit… and I suppose hoping it all works out in the long run paying off somewhere again, due to inheritance.

I know 100k isn’t enough but I save 1,200 a month at the moment and dc is only 3 so I am hoping I can get a bit more ready before he is 5.

Is there anything I have missed here? Is this crazy or reasonable? I am not bothered much about material things and before anyone starts about private school being more than the fees, we are v v fortunate that dc has a lot spent on him by grandparents so he certainly won’t be going without all the new things… although I can’t say I will be bringing him up to value ‘stuff.’ I feel strongly about private school so please if you are giving advice (which I really welcome!), don’t tell me it’s not work it etc as it really is to me.

Depends, when do you envision him starting private school?

if at 5 you would be spent in 6 years.

If you can afford it, I would continue paying down your mortgage - assets will increase in value, and use this as a saving leverage for when he’s 11

Totally not worth it for primary. Honestly don’t bother. Wait and send him for secondary when I definitely can be worth it, depending on the school. Unless there’s some sort of additional needs situation where smaller class sizes would be beneficial.

I would not pay for private primary school personalty, I would leave it until you are at high school stage if you are keen on private. And saving 1200 per month for 7 years would give you 100k anyway which would mean you could fund the high school without the upheaval of moving.

Firstly I would totally ignore the potential houses from your parents - as you've said a lot can change and even having that in your mind as a future plan is going to sway things.

I wouldn't take 100k out of your house to buy somewhere smaller in the hopes inheritance will pay for it in the future, it's making huge decisions based on hoping it works out in the long run - what's your plan if it doesn't?

You've said you know it's not just about the fees and the grandparents buy a lot - but are you able to fund the sports kits, instruments, extra curricula activities, school trips etc? That can be £££ on top of the fees per year.

If you've had to change job role due to recent mental health changes, do you think you'd be able to manage the prospect of being potentially financially unstable? Honesty I don't think it's reasonable tbh, I can't see anything in your post apart from huge financial risks.

Wouldn't your parents help out now? I understand wanting to be able to pay for good care but inheritance is often better during the young children years, than when you are 50+. Personally I'd try to live somewhere with good state schools. Even if it means total relocation.

If you are looking to move with this plan, could you really research decent state schools for primary and move into that catchment area and save for private secondary education where it really will count.

Alternatively talk to your parents about having 1 house from your inheritance early, either selling it or renting it out to pay towards the school fees.

would leave it until you are at high school stage if you are keen on private. And saving 1200 per month for 7 years would give you 100k anyway which would mean you could fund the high school without the upheaval of moving

10% of 500K house price rise is worth far more than 10% of £200K.

I don’t think you should ask your parents. Even if they own 4 houses, they could all be mortgages anyway. LL are selling up and there’s too much risk now.

My comment isn't so much about which school you're intending to send your child to, but unless you and your brother have lived in said houses for more than a year and can prove it, you will be liable for capital gains tax.

I don't understand. If you are saving £1200 a month just use that?

@1willgetthere its only just enough though. And it’s stressful not having it in the bank if you see what I mean.

Crazy idea op.

If you’re not working, and are on your own with no safety net, is school fees something you want to sign up to for 15 years?
It is such a big expense, and will always go up.
If you start in primary, then you’re tied in for the rest of school, and there will never be a good time to pull them out if you can’t afford it.

Have your parents offered your early inheritance? Or are you going to ask them? I think there’s a world of difference in grandparents offering to pay for school fees and being asked to pay. They may not agree to sell their houses anyway.

This is a stupid

You can't afford it .
Hth

Really bad idea. Private primary is not worth it on any level.

Local primary then reconsider as your son gets older. Should give you the best of all worlds.

As someone who put their kids through private primary, I can tell you that is really not worth it.

I wish I had saved that money for secondary school where you can really see the benefit.

Dont put yourself under unnecessary pressure.
Its important for you both to have a good quality of life too eg holidays, outings.

You sound very similar to a poster a while back. She couldn’t afford it either ( and she still had a job)

if you can’t afford until 18 then don’t bother. Secondary is the most important bit.

Have you really asked yourself why this is so important to you?

Thank you for responses! It’s just important to me, always has been. I thought taking out the 100k would be stress free in the sense that the money is then there and I can add to it along the way. But it leaves a question mark over house security and I agree it’s not ideal to hope that inheritance would cover any remaining debt later on.

I really don't think your child would thank you long term for putting you in a precarious financial position to send them to private school. It is a lot of pressure on them.

I echo the advice of others, sit down and have a long honest think about why this is so important to you. It seems madness to make yourself so financially vulnerable.

I’d discuss the idea with your parents in a “I’m thinking of… but it probably makes more sense to wait till secondary school. What do you think?

Then see if they offer any help.

But secondary does make more sense if you are struggling. The last thing you want to do is get them used to it, then pull them out.

I also wouldn’t do it unless the grandparents were willing to pay or I could get a bursary.

It sounds like you have potential to get a very good job again like the one you had until recently (perhaps a reach but it sounds like these are short term MH issues resulting from your bereavement), so perhaps you could start off at state and then switch if you manage to get back onto a more secure financial footing. Inheritance is just so uncertain unless there is a drip feed eg your parents are now in their late nineties and terminally ill.

I would personally choose a private school if I could afford it but my top priority would be my child’s overall happiness and life experiences. Rather nice holidays and a decent house with them going to a really good school rather than their going to an excellent school and not being able to afford any treats.

Private primary really isn't worth it. We had our son in private primary and it was a real waste of money! We relocated during lockdown and put him into state primary. Turns out he was completely behind the curve in terms of where he was meant to be academically. His new school did a great job and now he's in the G&T category.

We would never have known if we hadn't moved 😡

Anyway, now we're looking at a private secondary school for him that will be much more suitable for his needs.

State primary has enabled him to make lots of friends locally which he'll keep through youth club. So win-win

Also, we have enough in the bank to cover fees for both kids from 11-18 (+20% VAT rise!), so there's no stress about affordability. I know what you mean about having that as security. There's no way I'd go private if I was trying to pay from my salary, just too much pressure for my liking.

I think you need to dig deeper into WHY private school is important to you.
is it the ‘prestige’ well a fool and his money is soon a parted

is it because you went to private? Or did you go to state and have an awful time? Every school and every child is different.

do you think private schools get better results? On the face of it they do but a lot of factors do I to that - rich successful people tend to value education more, can afford tutors, if in successful career they are quite e clever themselves, schools
can cherry pick the more intelligent students and discourage the non performing ones from staying, passing exams to get a place etc etc. all mean that private schools don’t have to deal with the kids who parents don’t care about education or kids with learning difficulties etc.

do you think they will get into a better uni? That’s often not the case now! Lots of unis are doing blind admissions or weighting more towards state schools and certain postcodes.

does you child have additional needs? Often private school are not good are dealing with this if the child is not performing well academically.

I went to state and the private secondary schools so have experience of both. Lots of pros and cons but you should only choose private if you can articulate why you prefer that particular school. Not just ‘because it’s better’

Don't put yourself in any financial difficulties for private school. Who knows what might happen in the future? Your son needs a happy, unworried mother more than he needs private school! And as you said-who knows what might happen in the future? Your parents might change their minds. The houses might plummet in value. Also, think of the pressure it puts on your son to be happy and do well. Don't do it.