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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH obsessed with ex and now I am attracted to her, AIBU?

70 replies

NamelessSecondWife · 28/09/2023 17:50

So DH and I started as a holiday romance, well, he was a glam widower on holiday and I was working. Hot sunny Euro locale, instant attraction. My friends warned me with words like 'He's a Tory voter' 'He has a country place FFS' 'What about the age gap,' but honestly, girls can be jealous.

Anyway we got married and returned from honeymoon to his swanky house 'Mumblesey' by the sea in the south west. Servants and the whole shebang. I was a little intimidated but determined to make a go of things.

Only to find out he is obsessed with his ex, 'Becks'. Everything is the way she left it, her writing paper, her raincoats with her handkerchiefs in the pocket, her bloody bedroom set up for her and some crazy twat of a housekeeper who brought Becks up and also seems obsessed. DH goes all cold and grim and sinister when Becks is mentioned.

And then I found out. I was led to believe Becks was DEAD and from DH's reactions I was beginning to think he'd murdered her! Then one evening walking by the shore I went into this old boathouse... and there she was. Smoky eyes, lithe figure, one hand in her pocket and the other one holding a cigarette.

I was instantly attracted. She began to rant about how DH was so conventional and strait-laced and homophobic and a priggish boring wanker who only cared about his posh house and reputation, and she'd had to leave and move into the boathouse. She was obviously bisexual and, well, she stirred me to my depths. I haven't acted on this yet but the more time I spend in the boathouse the more I am attracted to her and not to DH.

Thoughts?

YABU: You can't shag your husband's ex, however smoky her eyes are. Shame on you.

YANBU: Shag away, my darling, let yourself be thrilled to your very depths, and BTW, LTB.

OP posts:
ArseMenagerie · 28/09/2023 17:52

Not sure Becks is all she seems TBH

Dolphinnoises · 28/09/2023 17:52

And how do you get on with the housekeeper?

CaptainJackSparrow85 · 28/09/2023 17:52

Last night I dreamt I went to Mumblesey again…

YouJustDoYou · 28/09/2023 17:53

Sounds like a Mills and Boon.

Blahblahblah2 · 28/09/2023 17:53

Haha, very good 👏

ohbuggar · 28/09/2023 17:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

DuchessOfPort · 28/09/2023 17:56

might there be a greasy spivvy chap lurking too? That your Tory husband doesn’t like hanging around?

You should probably hide the matches too unless you want to spend HOURS filling in insurance forms.

MyShmoo · 28/09/2023 17:56

Someone's been watching/reading Rebecca...

Shoutinglagerlagerlager · 28/09/2023 17:57

Daphne du Maurier fan are we? 🙄

TemporarilyshyAF · 28/09/2023 17:58

Late wife, not ex surely?

larkstar · 28/09/2023 17:58

Chapter one looks promising...

Oakbeam · 28/09/2023 18:03

Are you sure the house is called Mumblesea? Could it be Mandalay?

GalileoHumpkins · 28/09/2023 18:03

I think Becks might be a ghost, if she offers to slip you her tongue run away screaming.

ElephantsHaveWrinkles4 · 28/09/2023 18:05

Rebeccaaaaa 😍 love this book

EmpressaurusOfCats · 28/09/2023 18:05

What actually are smoky eyes? Cloudy & smelling of tobacco from her cigarette?

Nonplusultra · 28/09/2023 18:06

Mumblesea is absolutely inspired!

Totaly · 28/09/2023 18:06

Can you go skinny dipping and check her out properly?

Abhannmor · 28/09/2023 18:07

Hello Daphne. Go for it girl!

Leggytigberk · 28/09/2023 18:08

I can sail I want the boat.

Abhannmor · 28/09/2023 18:08

Oakbeam · 28/09/2023 18:03

Are you sure the house is called Mumblesea? Could it be Mandalay?

Manderley surely, in a posh accent albeit...

BigSwigs · 28/09/2023 18:08

IDK but I think it would make a great novel.

Tbry · 28/09/2023 18:09

Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again.

PollyAmour · 28/09/2023 18:09

Plagiarism is a crime you know.

Bloatstoat · 28/09/2023 18:10

Isn't his ex dead?!

PoppyFleur · 28/09/2023 18:11

Don’t go sailing!

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