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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I Physic or just really crazy coincidence?

27 replies

amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:04

little weird things always happening to me, I’ll tell you one today: I picked up my daughter earlier than usual today (goes to after school so I literally walk in and collect from club) but today I was standing around with all the other parents and feeling awkward as I don’t know anyone really. I saw this really lovely looking mum who I thought looked friendly also on her own so I talked to her. In the short space of time we realised she’s friends with my sister in law, her son in same class as my niece and I randomly asked if her daughter is called “name” she looked horrified/suprised/slightly weirded out and said “yes how do u know” I explained that’s my daughters buddy (in their school the new kids are buddies up with another child whose been there longer.

this is just one of hundreds of examples. I’m kind of feeling a little embarrassed as she probably thought I was a weirdo. I just wish I hadn’t asked her or even chatted to her as it was so random.

please be kind I’m struggling with my mental health for a few months now.

OP posts:
Original poster
amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:05

Sorry I know I spelt psychic wrong

OP posts:
AtlasPine · 28/09/2023 16:07

I think sometimes we need to look at how many coincidences that could happen but don’t - literally millions - to see that actual coincidences are just that.

Original poster
amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:08

@AtlasPine do u think I came across really weird?

OP posts:
AtlasPine · 28/09/2023 16:09

Not at all. It’s an interesting topic.

icallitasplodge · 28/09/2023 16:13

Coincidences like this aren’t always coincidences, in the magical sense.

consider that you are similar people, you like similar things, have similar values, to similar places etc, she’s likely to know someone you know. Same as my childhood friend lives opposite me. It’s not a coincidence in the true sense, we just both liked the area (it’s a common place that people from our original area move to) because we are similar people and the houses on this road look the same as the ones we grew up in. So on that basis ours kids go to the same school just as we did as children. Not a coincidence… just similarity. They are the same age. Not a coincidence, she and I are the same age so it was pretty likely we would have kids around the same age.

like attracts like.

ColdEvenings · 28/09/2023 16:16

So the mum you were talking to was the mum of your daughter's buddy? Have I got that right?

No I didn't think she thought you're weird just surprised you guessed right. Maybe you didn't realise but maybe they looked like each other.

Don't worry about it OP and look out for her next time to chat to. You'll soon get to know more of them :).

Original poster
amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:18

@ColdEvenings ive never seen her daughter. I just thought I’d ask as it was weird she knew my SIL, plus Niece. I don’t actually know why I asked her

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 28/09/2023 16:20

Just a coincidence.

sockarefootwear · 28/09/2023 16:27

I don't think you'll have looked weird OP- the other person was probably just also thinking what a coincidence it was too.

I think sometimes we subconsciously notice/hear/see/remember things or make connections that we are not consciously aware of. So perhaps you've seen (but not consciously remembered) a photo of the woman before on your SILs social media, or seen them together etc so this was why the woman looked friendly to you. Perhaps you have heard (but not consciously noticed) her say her DD's name before so that made you think to ask. Or perhaps your SIL has mentioned that her friend has a DD called [name].

As PP mentioned, we also don't tend to remember all the times where there is no connection. Would you have remembered this as well if you met someone who seemed nice but had no link to anyone else you know? Would you have thought anything of it if you'd asked if her DD was [friend's name] and she said no?

I think it's fascinating how the human mind works- but don't believe these things are supernatural

lilyblue5 · 28/09/2023 16:29

I get this too. I’m with you. :)

Letitgonowgr · 28/09/2023 16:30

Not really that weird as she was in your school playground plus clearly lives locally so is likely to know people you know!

KnickerlessParsons · 28/09/2023 16:34

If there were 30 kids in the class, with 30 mums waiting for them, you had a one in thirty chance of someone you spoke to being the mum of a particular child.
That's not psychic. That's chance.

Original poster
amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:36

She’s in a different year group. 6 year groups with 3 classes in each

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 28/09/2023 16:39

No, you are not psychic. Unless there are literally 200+ other similar examples, I wouldn’t think it wasn’t anything other than a bit of a coincidence.

KnickerlessParsons · 28/09/2023 16:43

amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:36

She’s in a different year group. 6 year groups with 3 classes in each

Still chance not psychic.

OneLittleFinger · 28/09/2023 16:44

I sometimes find myself knowing something I can't possibly know. It's weird. The example most like yours happened not long after I'd moved to Ireland from London. I worked in a shop. A couple came I and we got chatting. They said they were from London too and it turned out they were from a town friends of mine lived in. I was convinced they knew my friends, despite them saying otherwise, so I kept talking about them (must have looked very strange!). Eventually the penny dropped. My friends were their neighbours, but, being London, they didn't know their names.

I KNEW they knew them

GalileoHumpkins · 28/09/2023 16:46

Not remotely psychic.

BrieAndChilli · 28/09/2023 16:49

it is surprising how much our subconcious brain picks up on - things that we dont even realise we have noticed. Sometimes we make a choice or 'lucky guess' which seems like it is out of nowehre but actually we have picked up on lots of teeny tiney micro clues that have helped us make the deicion.

Also we all have a positive bias so we all fixate on the things that go right or that we got right etc and not on the hundreds of things we got wrong or didnt pick up on.

squareyedannie · 28/09/2023 16:50

Does this sort of thing happen to you on a regular basis?

WhateverMate · 28/09/2023 16:51

OneLittleFinger · 28/09/2023 16:44

I sometimes find myself knowing something I can't possibly know. It's weird. The example most like yours happened not long after I'd moved to Ireland from London. I worked in a shop. A couple came I and we got chatting. They said they were from London too and it turned out they were from a town friends of mine lived in. I was convinced they knew my friends, despite them saying otherwise, so I kept talking about them (must have looked very strange!). Eventually the penny dropped. My friends were their neighbours, but, being London, they didn't know their names.

I KNEW they knew them

You have no idea how many times my dad does this to me....tries to convince me I know someone and in the end I just give in and pretend I do, to stop him going on about it 🤣🤣

KrisAkabusi · 28/09/2023 16:52

amIPyschic · 28/09/2023 16:18

@ColdEvenings ive never seen her daughter. I just thought I’d ask as it was weird she knew my SIL, plus Niece. I don’t actually know why I asked her

It's still chance. And a smaller chance than you realise because you are automatically excluding all the people you already know around the school and their daughters so you wouldn't even have asked the question of them. Daughter has new friend at school plus person you don't know is a small degree of separation.

DappledThings · 28/09/2023 17:19

There's nothing weird about you knowing her daughter's name nor will you have come across as weird for asking her.

OneLittleFinger · 28/09/2023 17:43

In this case they really did as they knew the sons. They dropped off a wee bottle of whiskey to my friends and introduced themselves at the same time!

Neverinamonthofsundays · 28/09/2023 18:37

Have a read of The celestine prophecy :)

Freezingcoldinseptember · 28/09/2023 18:44

Did you think the outcome in your mind beforehand op? 19 years ago after deciding I was done having dc I 'saw myself' in my mind walking down a street with 2 dd's called 2 particular names. I did indeed fall pregnant and had a dd. Used 1 of the names. A year later another dd and used the second name. Not particularly my choice of name either.. A decade later newly single I sensed I would meet a man with a particular make who worked in a particular place.. One night I had an urge to go out. Never went out on a Friday ever ever.. Met a man called the name. And he worked in the place. He lived in my village yet had never seen him.. Been married 8 years now. And have a dc.