To take a pay cut for a lifestyle change?

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DH & I have agreed in principle to relocating to the coast for a new lifestyle. The plans now hinge on us getting new jobs that will allow us to move.

For me my salary expectations are the same ( public sector) and there are opportunities being advertised. DH is finding it harder. He is looking to find a 100% WFH role in IT (He is quite niche so not looking at every IT role). Jobs are out there … but not at his current salary.

My view is that we are moving for lifestyle to a cheaper part of the country. We will not have a mortgage and DCs are finishing needing child care. We would still have a combined income of about £80k and I think that this is doable. That it is worth it for the change in lifestyle and our mental health.

DH disagrees and so plans to move have
Been shelved. Is it reasonable to think that we could live on that income quite easily and money is not the be all and end all ?

For context DH earns 3 x what I do currently and has some expensive habits. He comes from a family with money and doesn’t do budgeting whereas I have always had to be careful and save up for things.

Have you had experience of taking a big pay cut ( by choice) and did you regret it?

I wouldn’t take the pay cut. The quality of life won’t be so great when you have having to cut back on luxuries you’re really used to having.

Sounds like your husband values money more.

Yes, left a well-paying job that was affecting my mental health and moved to a new field involving one of my passions. It was a risk but I never looked back.

This is so reassuring to hear. I left a similar job in August and I'm contemplating a career change. A job has just been advertised on half my previous salary but is something I'm passionate about. Dh is supportive, saying mental health and doing something you enjoy is worth more than money.

Sorry to hijack the thread. Watching with interest.

I did. I had an extremely high paying high stress high risk job which I left as it was shift work, long hours and high risk. The position I was when I left is on about $200k now (aud). I retrained as a teacher and earn a fraction of that. But I love it, I’m home every night with the kids. We have weekends and all the school holidays. So lifestyle def was the right choice.

Yes, life is too short to be a slave to work/money.

How far are you moving, would he be able to commute once a week or a few times a month?

I think that salary is comfortable but if your DH is a bit of a spender then maybe not!
I'm just about to leave a well paid job which is also very intense and pressured (targeted etc, chauvinistic management and atmosphere) to go back to my passion which is definitely not well paid. Mental health is more important and your lifestyle change sounds like it would be a really positive thing.

Much too vague. You talk about 'quality of life' but what are you using as a metric for that? How much does 80k get you compared to your current lifestyle.
Neither of you are right or wrong but it seems like you have logistical issues to sort out before it makes sense to consider moving.

£80k to live on with no mortgage?!?

That is a HUGE amount! We earn just under that but also have mortgage costs, but compared to most in this area we are reasonably well off.

What are these hobbies?

You can use this to show him how well off you are:

https://ifs.org.uk/tools_and_resources/where_do_you_fit_in

I think so. But to be fair to your DH he's allowed not to agree - plus presumably he has taken time and effort to get where he is in his career and once you've taken a pay cut it can be difficult to get back to where you are. That's not just about money, it's about seniority and personal progression, too.

I would never ever choose money and status or expensive habits over my overall lifestyle, mental health and sense of peace.
Yes in the past I gave up a well paid job, as has my dh and we’ve never looked back. Life is so short.
Mind you, it sounds like losing these things would make your dh unhappy, we’re all different.
I’d be off to the coast like a shot personally.

It will all be to do with his ego.

He has no idea how freeing having no mortgage is. If you deduct what your mortgage costs and work out deducting childcare you will probably not be worse off.

Do hard number crunching if you haven’t already and present the figures.

Yes and we have never regretted it. 80k with no mortgage and living by the sea...you would be mad not to

With no mortgage a salary of £80k should be fine. I’d do it, lifestyle is a lot more important something I think people discovered during the pandemic.

Dh and I relocated to be near family but the bonus was house prices were cheaper. We bought mortgage free. I was public sector so knew my grade would remain the same (it did). Dh was anticipating taking around a 25% cut which he was fine with as we'd have a lot more extra money. Turns out he interviewed really well and they matched his old salary.

Are you sure he's not using the salary as an excuse not to move?

£80k without a mortgage is an insane amount of income. Lifestyle is so important. No one dies wishing they’d earned more money

Sit down with him and work out how your incomings/outcomings will match up when you move.

That's really what's important - whether you can cover the bills and how much money you have left afterwards.

I left a job I was miserable in for another job, taking a paycut. Within a couple of years I was back earning what I was and in a much better role.

I changed roles to cut myself some slack while raising DC. I did not take a pay cut per se, but my salary has now stalled because of the role move (the person who replaced me came in at 10k more by that point).
For me, I wanted less stress, more time at home, more flexibility. And after tax, i feel like the additional pay if i was to move back wouldn't be worth it and it would get swallowed on crap. My change in pace means I can drop DD later at nursery, go for a swim and then start work. In comparison when I then see the person in my old role, working late, having to pick calls up at the weekend, getting calls demanding she is in the office for an early meeting, seeing her face when I get up and leave at 4...I know i made the right choice.

Money is not always the indicator of a successful career and life.

He’s entitled to his opinion and I assume he’s the one who understands his job market and not you. I work in IT. Some places can’t get qualified people in certain sectors of IT and so make do with people who aren’t quite what they need or want. He should focus on the job search - commuting out to nearest big city if required.

Show him The Salary Calculator.

£80k salary and no mortgage, unless you've got £££ in unsecured debt would mean a very comfortable life.

We did something very similar almost 10yrs ago, moved from a city to a coastal town in South West. I was public sector, still am, no change in salary. Husband took a big hit salary wise but actually really enjoys his job now (total change of industry) so he's happy. The move meant that we had much more time with children, shorter commutes, less stress (smaller mortgage) and its been great, the children have grown up with a really outdoors lifestyle, both passionate sailors now. We have no regrets but I do sometimes get the green eyed monster over friends (who stayed in the city) salaries, it's only fleeting as our lifestyles/ homes etc actually remain very similar as its cheaper to live here. I completely appreciate your husbands concerns though, smaller salary for less tangible benefits of improved lifestyle, mental health etc etc doesn't work for everyone it might be too much of a move and I think that's fair enough.

Dh has just taken a huge pay cut, also in IT, for a better work / life balance. Its not worked out at all.
He's missing the cut and thrust of being a very senior person and being "needed". He finds the culture of his new employer infuriating.
I'd imagined him having much more time for hobbies and housework, but he doesn't seem to, he sits at his desk endlessly waiting to be needed.
It may be a thing that's specific to DH, but some people are just cut out for high energy, fast paced work lives and flounde reothout them.
He's probably going to move back to something more senior very soon, having worked out that's what makes him tick.

How much of a salary cut is it for your DH though? He may not be able to reconcile himself with so much less money for a similar job. But that is a great income with no mortgage.

Thanks for your thoughts on this. I do have my concerns that DH is using this to stall on. He is not a high level work focussed person (just in a rather paid for niche).

I do get that he has concerns about taking a cut but he is now mid 50s and if he doesn’t make the move now we are stuck till retirement. His expected pension pot will be the same (inheritance).

We have no debt now and I am going to full out the salary counter to show him. I did a quick calculation that due to the tax brackets the difference of take home salary is around 20 k even though the initial figure was nearly twice that. I think seeing the figures on paper might helO.