Relationship suspicions

[Southy1989]

We regularly spend time with some good friends , left drinking late at the end of the night is always my husband and the wife (who is a good friend). I am feeling suspicious something is going on late at night, day time never a worry. Confronted my husband late last night and he denies point blank and is angry/ offended. Aibu to cause a lot of drama over pure gut feeling and no evidence. Not sure if I am just being overly suspicious, or if I should trust my intuition when we have children and good friendships on the line.

Why do you think something is going on? Just because they both stay up later than others or is something else making you suspicious? I’m the type of person who cannot sleep after drinking so I will happily stay up chatting with anybody else that is willing to stay up with me. I am definitely not having sex in this situation though. If there’s more to it then I could understand the suspicions but just staying up late isn’t suspicious in itself.

What makes you think something is going on? Gut feelings can be wrong but often you’re picking up on subtleties that you can’t quite put your finger on. Has your husband or friend ever acted in an untrustworthy manner before? Done anything to lose your trust?

Where are you and this woman's husband when your husband and his wife are up late together?

@Southy1989, can you please elaborate? What are the clues that have triggered your suspicion?

So next time put your phone on record and leave it hidden in the room.

I think you are right to be concerned. Your husband and the other woman might be developing an emotional bond. Those things do happen and until it happens neither party is aware what's going on. How will people act on their emotions is anyone's guess. I suggest you and your husband get yourself another group of friends. No need to accuse him of anything as I don't think anything improper has actually happened. Just pivot away gently

How did you confront him?

Did you say 'are you cheating on me with friend?'

Or

Did you say 'are you able to reassure me about something that's making me feel a little uncomfortable?'

(For example)

Do you think alcohol has anything to do with your suspicion? You said it's fine during the day but after few drinks your gut feeling kicks in

If your suspicion is only based on them staying up later than you you are being unreasonable.

If you came out and accused him outright of cheating after you’ve both had a few drinks late at night then yes YABU.

Could’ve probably waited until you were both totally sober and sit down and say you are uncomfortable with him & the woman being up so late talking and then watch his reaction.

Or better still you could’ve joined them one night and see if they appear uncomfortable that you are still up with them.

If he really is up to anything, you’ve now let him know you’re onto him so they’re more likely to hide it now. Would’ve been better to quietly gather more evidence first.