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Original poster

Colleague posting inappropriate things on SM

95 replies

JanS17 · 27/09/2023 21:09

My (male) colleague has been posting things on social media essentially slagging off our (female) manager. Manager doesn’t have SM, but other colleagues are also friends with him and will be able to see what he’s posting.

Would I be unreasonable to report it to my manager, or should I keep my nose out and leave it alone?

OP posts:
Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 28/09/2023 07:12

I would report him. If you dont it looks bad that you knew and didn't say anything, your manager is still an employee and could see this as bullying or harassment.

molotovcupcakes · 28/09/2023 07:14

determinedtomakethiswork · 27/09/2023 22:03

I would stand up for your female manager and tell her. I would ask her not to say that I was the one who had reported it, but I would definitely tell her. I believe in women sticking together with things like this.

Bear in mind that if you do this you can’t guarantee that your manager will not name you, as happened to me.

LlynTegid · 28/09/2023 07:15

Is your male colleague someone who would remove it if you told him you've seen it? If not, then report it.

jeaux90 · 28/09/2023 07:19

What is he actually saying? It's a fine line between free speech and going against corporate policies.

If the company or she is in anyway identified then yes I would intervene

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 28/09/2023 07:39

I certainly wouldn't feel comfortable doing nothing about his horrible behaviour

You’re* *making a lot of assumptions here. How do we know the manager hasn’t been treating him like crap?

Obviously that doesn’t stop this being unprofessional, and it’s stupid behaviour from his point of view given that one of his colleagues has already seen it. But that doesn’t mean he’s automatically “so howwibul 😞😞”

It’s interesting the leaps some people are making when all we know about the colleague and the manager are their genders…

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 28/09/2023 07:39

Blinkinbloodyhayfever · 28/09/2023 07:12

I would report him. If you dont it looks bad that you knew and didn't say anything, your manager is still an employee and could see this as bullying or harassment.

How would anyone know the OP has seen it?

Pollyputhekettleon · 28/09/2023 07:45

You haven't said what the slagging off actually involves, or why your manager being female is relevant. People are making assumptions by your putting the two together.

LakeTiticaca · 28/09/2023 07:46

Surely your not the only work colleague who is a SM friend and could report him?
Same happened to a colleague of mine . He posted something vague and unidentifiable but some busybody reported him. Management tried every which way they could to sack him but we had a shit hot union rep who pulled it apart.
Why not just have a word with him about it?

Highlyflavouredgravy · 28/09/2023 07:53

Keep your beak out! It's nothing to do with you!!!

saraclara · 28/09/2023 08:06

If he neither names the company nor the boss, there's nothing to report. It's no different from him moaning about her to his friends in his living room.

But I would say to him that it's not a good idea to slag off his boss on SM because someone else might show her the posts.

Startingagainandagain · 28/09/2023 09:35

I am always amazed how nosy some people can be and always wonder why they take it upon themselves to get involved in matters that have zero impact on them...

Whether this guy is being a bit of an idiot or not, what does it matter to you? what are trying to achieve here?

Is there a reason why you would want him sacked? are you trying to get in that manager's good graces?

I just don't get it.

Original poster
JanS17 · 28/09/2023 09:44

The reason it matters to me is, firstly, our manager is my friend and I care about her. I’d want to know if someone was complaining about me online.

Secondly, we work in a small and tight knit team and his behaviour is affecting the whole team dynamic.

But he’s not mentioned her by name or named the organisation so I guess there’s nothing I can do.

I’m not sure if it’s in breach of the SM policy…. Probably.

OP posts:
PhantomUnicorn · 28/09/2023 09:45

if its his own private social media, butt out.

autumniscomingsoon · 28/09/2023 09:48

JanS17 · 28/09/2023 09:44

The reason it matters to me is, firstly, our manager is my friend and I care about her. I’d want to know if someone was complaining about me online.

Secondly, we work in a small and tight knit team and his behaviour is affecting the whole team dynamic.

But he’s not mentioned her by name or named the organisation so I guess there’s nothing I can do.

I’m not sure if it’s in breach of the SM policy…. Probably.

If it's his private account and there's no link to his work I don't see how it breaches a policy or how there can be a policy governing what anyone does on private account without link to work that can't be linked to work whilst not being paid by the employer.

Original poster
JanS17 · 28/09/2023 10:04

We work for the NHS, there are lots of rules in our contracts/from our supervisory body governing how we behave and act outside of work.

OP posts:
WomanStanleyWoman2 · 28/09/2023 11:07

The reason it matters to me is, firstly, our manager is my friend and I care about her. I’d want to know if someone was complaining about me online.

This is a work issue - therefore she’s your manager first and friend second. If you disliked her, or were even just ambivalent about her, would you feel the need to intervene in this way? What if you were friendlier with him than her?

Delete him from your social media and her on with your own job.

TheFeistyFeminist · 28/09/2023 14:47

If you are bound by professional guidelines, that might include speaking up where you suspect the organisation or profession are brought into disrepute by the comments. You may also be bound by a social media policy at work that requires you to report instances where staff behaviour online could be similarly damaging.

I would recommend checking both and making sure you understand any obligations on you before you decide to report or stay out of it.

MammaTo · 28/09/2023 15:25

Obviously the offically right thing to do is to report it.

But me personally, I’d ignore it and just hide him off my SM. Not everyone may like your manager the same as you do sadly. Let someone else pick it up and report it if they want to.

SuddenlyOld · 28/09/2023 15:25

Absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with you. If it bothers you unfriend him.

I'd rather not know what people say about me behind my back - it would hurt me - so I'd rather not know.

JMSA · 28/09/2023 15:27

I would 100% tell her, in confidence. He's completely out of order. It's so unfair and unprofessional that he's doing this behind her back, and she has no means of defending herself.

cushioncovers · 28/09/2023 15:47

Change your fb settings so that you do not see any of his posts but still remain friends if you're worried about unfriending him. Or just unfriend him and state conflict of interest if he asks. Don't bother telling your manager, what is she going to actually do ? He's not mentioned names or locations etc.

GarlicGrace · 28/09/2023 16:02

Does your union have an advice line for borderline questions like this?

Original poster
JanS17 · 28/09/2023 16:34

GarlicGrace · 28/09/2023 16:02

Does your union have an advice line for borderline questions like this?

I’ll look into this thank you!

OP posts:
Loverofoxbowlakes · 28/09/2023 16:45

Disciplinary-able in teaching, expect the nhs has similar policies.

Screenshot and print off, leave on the manager's desk.

TheOccupier · 28/09/2023 17:00

JanS17 · 28/09/2023 09:44

The reason it matters to me is, firstly, our manager is my friend and I care about her. I’d want to know if someone was complaining about me online.

Secondly, we work in a small and tight knit team and his behaviour is affecting the whole team dynamic.

But he’s not mentioned her by name or named the organisation so I guess there’s nothing I can do.

I’m not sure if it’s in breach of the SM policy…. Probably.

I think other colleagues being on his SM who will know who he's talking about makes it effectively not private/anonymous. If he were saying these things to them at work, or via work email, would it be appropriate? Screenshot his posts (in a way that doesn't identify you) and send them to HR anonymously from a burner email account. DON'T unfriend him or he'll know it was you!

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