More of a ‘would I be unreasonable’

[Hlly]

So without wanting to give away too much detail would I be unreasonable to fall out with friend of 20 years if she reconnected with abusive husband?
She has told me he has been sexually abusive. I have seen that he is abuse in many other ways. He’s a cheat and vile (IMO) I’ve hated him for years. She’s left him but they might get back together and I never want to see him again. He is not welcome in my house or around my family. However I haven’t brought this up with her yet and don’t intend to unless they reconnect.
I don’t want to loose a friend but I can’t put a nice face on it anymore…

I think she needs a friend, not your judgement. I think you can tell her you're worried for her and you think she's making a poor choice but that you should still be there for her

Ok maybe I wasn’t clear. I am not judging her and have understand for over a decade why she has stayed with him. I will never not be there for her but I don’t think she’s going to take too kindly to me saying that I do not want to be around him, or him around my family.
I’m looking for advice on how to potentially save a fiendship rather than destroy it

Zola (above) is right, of course, but it's hard if you lose respect for your friend because of their poor choices. I knew someone who was badly treated by her boyfriend. Eventually she had enough and ran away with her dch in the middle of the night to a friend's house. She found somewhere to live and after a few months met another man who was lovely and adored her. But the first BF clicked his fingers and she went back to him. She was never a close friend of mine but any respect I had for her went out the window. Her dch were witness to the violence too. They weren't his dch. She told me that you can't help who you love. OK then.
YANBU.