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AIBU?

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Original poster

Milk incident

58 replies

Sparklystarx · 27/09/2023 15:56

My DGD (4) was given milk today by school. They know that she is Lacoste intolerant and this can make her very poorly but she was given it and drank it. I think school didn’t take it serious and seemed to laugh it if as a joke and just an accident but it can be very bad for my DGD. What would you do?

OP posts:
MumDadBingoBlueyy · 28/09/2023 14:02

Not the point but does your GD not know she can’t have milk? My 3yo has a milk allergy (amongst others) and if she is offered milk she will respond ‘no thank you, it makes my tummy poorly’. By school age it’s really something they need to be able to communicate to others. We are practicing with our daughter telling people whilst we are out when we are asked about allergies.

Back to school- id send in an alternative for her and speak to the staff, if it happens again then take it higher.

ColleenDonaghy · 28/09/2023 14:07

countvoncount · 28/09/2023 13:56

@ColleenDonaghy of course it's relevant!!!

It isn't.

We don't know for sure if my DC would need her epipens if she ate peanuts, but the aim is not to find out.

The DC has a dietary restriction for medical reasons, it's not for the school to decide whether it's serious enough to stick to.

FetchezLaVache · 28/09/2023 14:17

countvoncount · 28/09/2023 13:56

@ColleenDonaghy of course it's relevant!!!

Of course it's not.

Someone I know of, a dinner lady of very many years, felt that parents will often tell the school their children are allergic to certain foods when in reality, they simply dislike them.

I'm sure this theory served her very well for many years, but she ended up having to dial 999 after picking the pineapple off the Hawaiian pizza of a child whose notes clearly stated that he was allergic to it.

The point is that if parents say a child is not to have a certain food, that's not open to interpretation.

Ponoka7 · 28/09/2023 14:23

It should be a formal complaint. There's policies and procedures in place that have been broken. My GC has a MPA it took a lot to get the school to take it seriously. Actually it took her shitting past herself while at school and then having to deal with it because no-one was available to run there quickly enough. They don't make those mistakes anymore.

Theunamedcat · 28/09/2023 14:26

FetchezLaVache · 28/09/2023 14:17

Of course it's not.

Someone I know of, a dinner lady of very many years, felt that parents will often tell the school their children are allergic to certain foods when in reality, they simply dislike them.

I'm sure this theory served her very well for many years, but she ended up having to dial 999 after picking the pineapple off the Hawaiian pizza of a child whose notes clearly stated that he was allergic to it.

The point is that if parents say a child is not to have a certain food, that's not open to interpretation.

Show quote history

Yes because there is no space for like and dislike or even mild intolerance my son could eat cooked tomatoes but raw blistered his skin I had to put it down as a complete allergy until he was older and able to choose his own food because the used to plate it for them

Also with intolerance you can have a bit of a honeymoon period occasionally and not react or you can go the other way and react catastrophically

OstrichInPink · 28/09/2023 14:27

Tulipvase · 27/09/2023 18:27

It’s unfortunate and I’m sure the staff are sorry. But a one off?, I’d just mention it to the teacher.

We have 2 milk free children in our class, one brings her own alternative, the other doesn’t but is pretty good at saying that he can’t have milk.

That's great until someone is anaphylaxic - thier systems either work or not.

Mariposista · 28/09/2023 14:28

All allergies need to be taken very seriously. Give them the benefit of the doubt that it was an oversight (albeit a bad one), but definitely raise it with the class teacher and ensure that it is passed to whoever is responsible for supervising the children at milk time.
You can sort this out appropriately without kicking up a massive stink. Be classy.

coxesorangepippin · 28/09/2023 14:28

Go in and address it

No peanuts allowed at my kids' school and they take it very seriously

coxesorangepippin · 28/09/2023 14:28

All allergies need to be taken very seriously.

^

This with bells on

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 28/09/2023 14:38

I'd find out the facts first. Did someone from the school staff physically give her milk, did she pick it up herself etc.

lanthanum · 28/09/2023 14:47

You should be given

  1. an apology
  2. an explanation if there are mitigating circumstances (eg last minute change of staffing for the class, and message wasn't passed on)
  3. what they are going to do to ensure it doesn't happen again (eg allergy list next to milk crate, clearer rules so that food/drink items are not given out by anyone who has not checked the allergy list, procedure to ensure supply staff have checked allergies and other important information about the class before they enter the room, whatever it takes).
Dixiechickonhols · 28/09/2023 14:52

Parent should follow up with school by email that this had happened and want assurances system in place and allergy fully documented.
I’d also work with dc over what to say. Eg if not sure say can I have this I’m allergic to dairy. Why did she drink it - was she worried she’d be in trouble etc. Would a wrist band she could show help her etc.

BrawnWild · 28/09/2023 14:52

@Thementalloadisreal yes, but the school/nursery/provider still need to claim for that child for the funding from the government.

If the provider wasn't claiming, they wouldnt have the milk allocation for OPs child.

ColleenDonaghy · 28/09/2023 14:56

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 28/09/2023 14:38

I'd find out the facts first. Did someone from the school staff physically give her milk, did she pick it up herself etc.

If there's a 4yo with a milk allergy or intolerance it shouldn't be out for the children to just pick up.

This is really serious and should be treated as such.

londonrach · 28/09/2023 14:57

You know it's very hard to get free milk...you have to opt in and surprised your dgc was given milk. Anyway raise of school

howmanyflutes · 28/09/2023 14:59

Sparklystarx · 27/09/2023 15:57

She has also had milk allergy since she was a baby.

She has a milk allergy and yet she had milk at school with no reaction during the day ?

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 28/09/2023 15:13

ColleenDonaghy · 28/09/2023 14:56

If there's a 4yo with a milk allergy or intolerance it shouldn't be out for the children to just pick up.

This is really serious and should be treated as such.

Show quote history

Another child could have put theirs down and she picked it up.

I agree it is very serious but worth knowing the facts first before deciding which action to take.

YukoandHiro · 28/09/2023 15:18

@FetchezLaVache

It's people like you who put my two epi pen carrying children at extreme risk when they're not with me (eg in school).

Educate yourself.

I don't care much what you personally think about allergies. Benedict Blythe died in school. I don't want my child to be the next one.

If a dietary restriction is in place the school must enforce it by law or be at risk of manslaughter charges if the worst happens.

By the way ALL dietary restrictions come with paperwork. You can't "cheat" this stuff.

YukoandHiro · 28/09/2023 15:19

Oh sorry @FetchezLaVache - I mean to CC the person you were responding to!!!

YukoandHiro · 28/09/2023 15:21

@howmanyflutes Look up non-IGE allergy.

God the amount of people on this thread who are completely ignorant of allergic disease is so depressing (and frightening)

Discwriter · 28/09/2023 15:28

Unacceptable OP. My DS were accidentally given hummus when he has a known sesame allergy and the school handled it as a near miss and called us immediately and apologised and asked if we prefer to fetch him. And he's only mildly allergic, as we've said on all the forms!

ManateeFair · 28/09/2023 15:31

Are you your DGD's legal guardian? If not, then what you should do is let the child's parents deal with this as they see fit.

Personally, if I was the parent in this situation I would complain in writing and say that I was unhappy not only that this happened but also that it wasn't taken seriously when it was raised.

ColleenDonaghy · 28/09/2023 15:32

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 28/09/2023 15:13

Another child could have put theirs down and she picked it up.

I agree it is very serious but worth knowing the facts first before deciding which action to take.

Show quote history

Oh yes agree with that.

I'd be speaking to the head about what happened, hoping they recognised the seriousness which would reassure.

IncompleteSenten · 28/09/2023 15:33

I'd expect them to investigate how it happened and record it and explain how they were going to ensure it didn't happen again.

Concannon88 · 28/09/2023 15:33

Was she unwell from it?