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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this too much hassle for a long weekend away?

41 replies

BarrelOfOtters · 27/09/2023 07:40

Dh is away for work for a week, involving 4 flights, all UK. He gets back on a Thursday night, we then get a 4 hour ferry and a 3 hour drive to stay with friends. Come back on the tuesday. He’s away again for work on the Wednesday for 2 nights. Flying again.

there’s a strong chance of any or all of those flights being disrupted…

we are going to see my friends, he agreed to it all, now it’s getting closer he’s making noises about it all being a bit much.

I sort of get his point but I don’t want to be flakey, but I also don’t fancy the ferry and drive on my own. It’s also all been paid for…(£400) though can transfer the ferry tickets to another date.

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/09/2023 07:44

It does sound a lot. Was the visit friends booking in place before the work stuff dropped in?

MustGetOutofBed · 27/09/2023 07:44

That seems like way too much travel in 1 week for me. Can you change the ferry to a weekend when he doesn't have so much travel with work, or is his work schedule always like this?

Sugarfree23 · 27/09/2023 07:47

Can he travel directly to your friends?

Yes it's a lot of travel but your friend has kept a weekend free for you so rude / flaky to pull out.

Lamelie · 27/09/2023 07:49

Eufff
It’s not too much for a weekend but it feels too much for him because he’s been travelling so much.
Don’t cancel for the reasons you’ve given.
We’ve done a lot of big drives (including a week with 3 under 4s 🥺) and the trick is to see the travel as part of the holiday- so valeted car, playlist, nice drinks snacks etc.
Is it the journey or once there he’s swithering about?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 27/09/2023 08:05

When is this? Might be too short notice to cancel on friends for this reason.

Sigmama · 27/09/2023 08:11

It is alot but he's agreed, he's not going to melt or spontaneously combust

Sigmama · 27/09/2023 08:12

And he can chill on the ferry

Lonecatwithkitten · 27/09/2023 08:14

My DH travels a lot for work if we travel away for weekend it is always like this for him.
He accepts that the few occasions we do it it is not fun for him, but I am stuck at home whilst he travels so he does it as I enjoy it.
Equally other weekends I stay home as I know he likes that.
If there is balance he probably needs to suck it up.

Nuttyroche · 27/09/2023 08:15

Go on your own? Why don’t you fancy going alone?

smallshinybutton · 27/09/2023 08:16

Yeah it's all too much.

Ragwort · 27/09/2023 08:18

Sounds horrendous, I wouldn't even fancy that if I didn't have a job that involved travelling . Seven hour journey (minimum .. presumably you've got to get to the ferry from home) for a long weekend !
You will just have to go on your own if you've made the commitment.

Whataretheodds · 27/09/2023 08:29

I can understand why it doesn't sound fun but it's totally doable. He can snooze in the car and on the ferry, presumably?

Are any of the flights via Gatwick?
Thursday itinerary sounds quite tight - how much of a delay on his inbound flight (how many inbound flights?) could you absorb before you miss the ferry?

dcsp · 27/09/2023 08:35

It does sound a bit much but the time for him to say that was before he agreed to it. He didn't do that, so he should stick to the arrangements that've been made.

CalistoNoSolo · 27/09/2023 08:42

Depends if he has to do all.of the driving or not for the weekend away imo.

YeahNoYeah · 27/09/2023 10:06

Sounds insane, but he's agreed to it.

MichelleScarn · 27/09/2023 10:10

Can he snooze in the car or is he the driver?

MichelleScarn · 27/09/2023 10:12

Oh and how is the weekend at friends going to be?
Does he get on with them/can he just chill?

vincettenoir · 27/09/2023 10:13

Yes it does sound like a lot. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that you shouldn’t go. If it would be easy enough to rearrange the ferry and a date your friends are free then that might be a good idea. But if it’s not, then I’d probably stick with the original plan and do the driving / make sure the trip will be chilled when you get there.

drspouse · 27/09/2023 10:24

I wouldn't, and I love travel. Put the friends off till a later date.

Original poster
BarrelOfOtters · 27/09/2023 10:28

Weekend will be chilled, but not as chilled as him just being at home. And there's no way to rearrange it this year.

I don't think he fully thought it through when he agreed to it a few weeks ago. To be honest, I probably shouldn't have agreed to it unless I was fully on board with going on my own.

He's only really started travelling again for work since CoVid to be honest, he used to be away a lot, and I think he'd forgotten what it was like.

I'll drive, though he'll probably want to drive on to the ferry. I could go on my own but don't really fancy it and it would be a bit of a pain for various other reasons to do with dog care etc.

It might all be a bit of a moot point as there is a high chance of his planes being cancelled.

OP posts:
Divebar2021 · 27/09/2023 10:34

4 flights over a week doesn’t seem that much … especially if they’re all U.K. how long can they be ? 90 mins? My colleagues will fly up and back to Scotland in a day from London and frequently work abroad with multiple flights up to 10 / 14 days. I imagine he’s used to NOT travelling though so I can see how it seems unappealing at the moment. I think he should suck it up on this occasion given the plan is with friends who may have gone to trouble for your arrival.

Ladyj84 · 27/09/2023 10:39

I would be going alone, don't mind driving, get to see friend, don't need to drag hubby along all the time. You wouldn't need dog care if he's home

Original poster
BarrelOfOtters · 27/09/2023 10:49

The flight connections means he's got 2 long days of travelling , 2 x flights each day with awkward connections, then socialising type work with long evenings too....which is tiring. I have to do that too sometimes and it's harder work than it sounds.

Then the next week it's a couple of flights but again long days.

So it's a lot of travelling over a couple of weeks, have to admit I'd have said 'No' if he'd suggested going off to see friends in the middle of that. But he said yes and it's all booked now...so....

OP posts:
Sugarfree23 · 27/09/2023 11:09

2 flights, I'm going to assume he's working in oil either off-shore or Shetland.

4 hour ferry, Scotland to Ireland maybe.

Can he not fly Aberdeen to Belfast/ Dublin and cut out some of the travelling?

Original poster
BarrelOfOtters · 27/09/2023 12:00

@Sugarfree23 lot of assumptions there and no to all of them. He’d not be good offshore!

OP posts: