How soon can you say ‘I love you’?

[Edders71]

Just that really. Is there a reasonable time period you should wait for? Can you be in love with someone after a couple of dates or is that just a kind of infatuation?

I’ve been seeing someone for 3 weeks and he is constantly on my mind, to the point of distraction. I feel like saying ILY would be the natural thing to do - and I’m pretty sure he would say it back - we are just so into each other and unbelievably comfortable with each other.

I’m early 50s, normally sensible and grounded, so I’m confused as to why I feel so strongly about him. Is it love? Or have I entered a new stage of menopausal madness? ;-)

This is lust, absolute addiction to the hormones being released when you're with him. It's not a healthy start declaring your love at this point, get a handle on your emotions you're setting yourself up for a crash!

A couple of dates is not enough to get to know someone and you can't love someone you don't know. Whatever you are feeling is a hormonal response and once this is settled, you can evaluate where you are at.
There is obviously no rule as to when it is appropriate to say it. But if someone said it to me after a few dates I would think them odd and run even if I felt deeply attracted to them.

This is lust not love.

Or have I entered a new stage of menopausal madness?

i can’t say whether related to menopause but on the basis of this thread…. Yes to madness

2 dates in 3 weeks? How come so few

I truly believe you can’t know you’re in love that early, at least not until you’ve spent significant time with them over the course of a few months anyway. Loving someone is about knowing them and accepting them for who they are and no one can know someone like that in a couple of dates.
That being said, I do know how you’re feeling!! I fell for my now-husband very quickly, it wasn’t love immediately but I did have strong feelings and it sounds like you’re probably the same.
There, of course, are no rules but you run the risk of coming on too strong and showing questionable judgment if you jump into saying I love you too soon imo.
Enjoy this lovely stage!!

Personally I'd hold off. I felt love for my DP the second I met him, it was the strangest feeling - like coming home. However, I knew I couldn't really love him, I didn't know him! Tbh that feeling never changed, only grew and grew, but I waited until 8 months before I said it which was bloody hard at times as I knew there was a good chance it was lust! 😂
If you truly love him and you are meant to be, you have all the time in the world. No rush!

Just because you feel something strongly, it doesn't make it love.

What is that you love about this stranger - because that's all he is right now, a stranger you are getting to know. As such, you are each showing up as the very best version of yourselves - it takes a good 3 months at least to be able to scratch the surface of a person and say 'yes, we align and I could perhaps see a life with you' - which is why this is the point that many people become 'official'.

You are 'in love' with a fantasy person made up of bits and bobs of what you know about him, and a whole bundle of hopes, dreams, wishes and images of the perfect partner that you have grown up with.

Hold onto your heart and give him time to unfold. Because there's one thing that feels far more intense than love at an early stage - matching wounding.

Thank you all, I knew I’d get a much needed reality check here! I shall keep my mouth shut and my eyes open 🙏

Say it.
See if he says it back.
Don’t forget to update us.

And no, I don’t think your mad. It could quite possibly be love.
I hope it is.

how’s thing with the new partner op?

We said I love you after 2 weeks. We were engaged 5 months after meeting. That was 25 years ago. Sometimes it's just right 🥰

Amazing. 3 days after I posted this he told me he’d fallen madly in love with me so I said it back. It felt right then and still does now. Hoping it turns out like @LadyMonicaBaddingham Thabks for asking x