Do I rock the boat?

[nouniqueusername]

Have been contemplating whether to bring this up with DP. I have several strong reasons to believe he's vaping behind my back but no conclusive evidence (haven't found a vape yet).

Earlier today he came home smelling fruity which has happened before. I went a bit sour and did bring up the subject of vaping but left it when he said he wasn't doing that.

My questions is, do I poke the bear and send him a message about how I feel about him doing this behind my back, and what it says about our relationship if he has to hide it from me, or do I leave it, which I have been for at least 6 months now!

I have written what I think is a very non-accusational message and saved it but am unsure if I should send it.

Why so controlling op..

He's a grown man and clearly if he is hiding it from you it's because he doesn't feel he can tel you

Just out of interest do you do things he doesn't like but do it anyway because as above your a grown adult

I get it. It's not about the vaping. It's about the lie. It's about the fact that he'd rather lie to you than have a mildly uncomfortable conversation. It's saying, 'You are not worth the truth and I'd rather hide myself from you'. It's actually pretty demeaning and I'm not surprised you feel a bit wtf about it.

Yup it's the lying. My ex tried this with actual smoking.
He could not see the lying was the bigger problem.
Good luck whatever you decide x

What did you do OP? I find myself in a similar position and am struggling to come to terms with the fact I've been lied to for what appears to be quite a long time. And is lying by omission as bad as lying. Need some perspective