We had a baby last year. Discussed at the time with DH about how it would be great if we could both reduce our hours slightly in our jobs so that we could have more time with her. I ended up getting a new job more locally towards end of mat leave - they were really supportive and happy to offer it to me on the working pattern I was looking for.
DH has been in his job several years. It's an easy commute and he's good at what he does, but awful pay and v low annual leave. His managers up till now have been generally nice but pretty crap at actaully doing any management.
DH spoke to Manager 1 (who looks after HR side more - v small org) soon after baby was born to say that when I went back to work he'd like to make a flexi request to drop one day or compress hours. Was told 'yes whatever you want - we'll make it work. Just put in a formal request nearer time'. When we'd done some painstaking planning about what we saw as working best he spoke to Manager 1 again and was told it sounded fine and would just be a case of approving the written request. Manager 2 was in loop and also said should be fine. Just as background too we'd originally had a childminder lined up with lots of notice, but she ended up saying she couldn't watch the baby any more for personal reasons, but we asked GPs if they could help on our working days while we look for alternative childcare (it's nigh on impossible to find anything round my way at this notice) and they've v kindly agreed.
DH put in his written request, on identical lines to what he'd discussed with them. Suddenly they are running round like headless chickens, saying they don't think he's thought it through, it will need to go for board approval (despite having said that wasn't needed), they don't understand why he needs to do this (umm, I"m going back to work?!), they'll be idiots if they agree the request as they're so busy, etc etc. I should also say he's the only one in the team with no flexibility atm - everyone else has at least one day wfh (he is in office all the time despite having same responsibilities as others) and two team members have been allowed to do compressed hours, not because of caring responsibilities.
I started new job recently and instead of being excited I've been really anxious and angry about how to make things work, especially given that we should have had an answer on the request by then but instead they sat on it and said it would have to go for board approval. In the meantime DH had to eat into his leave and I had to ask DM to help out even more than she already was in short term with baby.
Well surprise surprise it went for approval last week and was turned down. DH asked if he could go to that meeting to talk through why he was making the request and answer any questions and they said they wouldn't let him go. He's instead been summoned to say it's not going to happen and they've instead offered a few piss poor alternative options which they know aren't a fair substitute.
I know that he should have got things in writing sooner but they are so crap on process and said verbally so many times that they would be happy for him to reduce hours and approve whatever he came up with. I've asked him if he has anything on email that suggests that as tbh I'm livid and wanting to know if we have any legal legs to stand on with this. I'm so worried that I might get off to a bad start in my own job too as he is in denial about how crap the situation is and I might need to take time off at really short notice if he uses up too much leave to cover in the short term. I've suggested he cut his losses and look for a new job but easier said than done. AIBU to be seething??