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AIBU?

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Original poster

I'm saying the two's is the worst age!?

133 replies

MyBrownEyedHandsomeBoy · 26/09/2023 19:15

My DS. Exactly 2 and half, is just so hard work. It's exhausting.
He's super needy, whingy, resistant, there's absolutely zero reasoning, he's persistent, impatient and just naughty!!

I dread taking him out on his reins these days. I just thought I'd take him and the dog on a nice walk. How * wrong was I!?
Persistent on going the other direction so he will pull and end up twisting round on the reins and go all floppy and resistent. Can't get his own way so he will sit on the floor just scream for ages. A woman even opened her front door to see what was happening! It's embarrassing! I passed 2 other people who made comments "oh dear, someone playing you up".... "been there before love"
Ahhhhhhh 😩 I just wanted to scream.

I HATE the 'terrible twos' I can't wait til it's over
Please please tell me I've not got much longer of these vile tantrums to go 🙏🏻

OP posts:
BarnacleNora · 27/09/2023 11:10

My DSs are 7 and 9 and it is absolute BULLSHIT. I really REALLY don't like this age but I seem to be a total outlier 😂 I enjoyed 0-5 but that's the age I'm most used to anyway, they weren't angels by any stretch of the imagination but they were funny with their tantrums and easy to coax out of them. Most people I speak to however look back on newborn/toddler years with a shudder and love this age. I love toddlers so much I willingly spend time with other people's, even if I don't have my own kids with me-we all have our preferences! I've definitely become the middle aged lady in the shopping queue entertaining the small child in front while its parent unloads the groceries, I just think they're brilliant little anarchists and love seeing what they'll do!

With mine it's just attitude and hormones just starting to emerge and trying to be grown up on the playground way before they can actually deal with it. And oh GOD the inane non stop chatter about fucking minecraft or YouTube. It's just a wall of TALK with the very occasional interesting conversation sprinkled in if I'm lucky. And the bickering. The endless endless sibling bickering of the 'yes it is, no it isn't, yes it IS, muuuuuum tell him' variety. And the weirdly simple things that they surely should be able to do independently by now that they either can't or refuse to be able to do or still feel the need to demand I do for them (before they get a sharp reminder that they have four working limbs and a brain and are nearer the kitchen than I am. To which I then get an eye roll response. An EYE ROLL. At seven years old 😡)

I'm a terrible mother, I've found myself actually thinking wistfully of the teenage years and hoping the rumours are true that they go to their rooms and ignore you for a couple of years just so I can get some peace! But then I remember my three brothers growing up and their bedrooms and The Smell......

Colinswheels · 27/09/2023 11:13

2 and 4 have been the worst for my DD. She lulled me into believing she was getting easier for most of age 3 and then 4 hit and everything went spectacularly to shit. Plus she was too big and strong for me to physically manhandle her anymore. Praying 5 will be easier....

Salvor · 27/09/2023 11:28

Mine were a dream at that age!

Now 10&14 and what I'd do to go back to the toddler years!

HoHoFuckingHo · 27/09/2023 11:34

4 almost 5 DD is the absolute pits. She outright bullies me, dislikes but loves the baby, can't share won't share, except with certain people. Will do anything for Dada but he works at sea, even he got the brunt of it on his last leave thankfully.

She is thankfully nearing 5 and out of the manic laughing and beating me up stage which is a relief. I go to slimming world because she told me I was fat 😂. I mean she wasn't wrong, but she was quite vicious about it and I had just had my second section. She doesn't listen to me, attitude is horrendous, she screams at me.

At the end of it all she gives the sweetest hug and kisses and loves dd2 like it all never happened. It's the most intense form of gaslighting, but she absolutely knows best and I'm thick as pig shit in her mind at the time. It's borderline psychotic.

jumperoozles · 27/09/2023 11:37

Oh wow don’t tell me this 😂 new baby is due when DS is 2 and a half and I was hoping he might be vaguely sensible by then 🙉

PunchyPaprika · 27/09/2023 11:39

My 3 y/o is harder work now than he was at 2, but my 18 month old takes the biscuit! If his behaviour is a phase, then it's a looooooong one 😫

Lolaandbehold · 27/09/2023 11:40

Those complaining about 3s and 4s, I loved those years. They were so full of wonder, they still thought I was the best thing ever (lol that changed quickly). Yes sound 0-2 very tricky.
But I look back very fondly at the Reception years.

ZebrasLoveLions · 27/09/2023 11:43

He’s not being naughty. All behaviour is communication.

It sounds like you aren’t giving him appropriate control where possible, so he’s trying to exert control in situations you’d rather he didn’t.

Toddlers need to feel an element of control over their life. So giving them control over things that don’t matter (red cup vs blue cup, a choice out of two outfits you’ve already chosen etc) will lessen the tantrums over things that do matter.

marblesthecat · 27/09/2023 11:50

1-2.5 was the worst for me. I genuinely despised every second of my life and at some points if I'd been presented with a button that would undo her entire existence I think I might have pressed it. When she was around your son's age she went through a phase where she'd scream the place down if any adults attempted to speak to each other when she was there so even if I thanked a cashier when they handed me a receipt. It was fucking awful so I avoided going anywhere with her for a while. She's been a very pleasant little girl since then though (she's five now).

. Honestly when my DD started nursery she matured quite a lot (I think them having structure, having to learn to share, take instruction and do circle time etc helped the tantrums. My Mum always told me it would get a bit easier around the 3 mark and she was right. People keep asking me when I'm having no. 2 - I'm not falling for that again lol.

marblesthecat · 27/09/2023 11:53

I'm a terrible mother, I've found myself actually thinking wistfully of the teenage years and hoping the rumours are true that they go to their rooms and ignore you for a couple of years just so I can get some peace!

Omg @BarnacleNora I think this sometimes too when DD is following me around asking endless questions then I feel really bad 😂

BookSuperWorm · 27/09/2023 11:57

I have a 2 year old ... he's not too difficult at all. Toddlers are curious and can be picky about things as they learn to assert some control, but they are also MUCH easier to distract should a tantrum be looming, MUCH easier to get enthusiastic about doing things/going out.

I also have a 7yo. Wow. It's bloody hard. Attitude started last year, he thinks he knows everything suddenly and wants to do things his way, on his time. He's 7 so I can't just distract him out of it, or get him all giddy at the prospect of going jumping in puddles. Instead, I have to bribe him to do homework, spellings, reading and act as a taxi for his various clubs.

Tbh.... 4yo was also pretty bloody awful from memory! I'm not a baby person at all, but I do absolutely love toddlers - they are just really funny!

HidingFromDD · 27/09/2023 12:01

Teenagers. All the self centredness of a toddler but in a much larger package with hormones added in.

then they get past that stage and you breathe a sigh of relief, until they drive off in their own car and stroll back in at 4 am while you’ve been imaging all sorts since 11pm the night before.

and then that calms down and they hit twenties, and experience real problems that you can’t fix for them but your heart breaks with them

Maddy70 · 27/09/2023 12:03

One word. Teenagers......

farnhamgal · 27/09/2023 12:11

shhhhdonttell · 26/09/2023 19:35

I'm finding my 20 month year old heading that way!

20 month year old?

cocksstrideintheevening · 27/09/2023 12:12

DTS were perfect age two. Two weeks however after turning three they were a fucking nightmare.

Holly03 · 27/09/2023 12:14

Get ready for three and four. They really test you up until 5. I had a girl at the check out comment how her daughter was the same as mine (both 3). Made me feel better knowing it's not just my child being a delightful nightmare

Blossomandbee · 27/09/2023 12:18

It was terrible 3's in my house. Like the 2's on steroids. Naps dropped, bored at home and outgrowing nursery but not quite ready for school!

OldTinHat · 27/09/2023 12:19

Ha! 2-year-olds are easy compared to teenagers! But at least, by then, you can see the end of the torment because they'll soon be leaving home!

MaryShelley1818 · 27/09/2023 12:21

I just think they're all so different. DS at age 3 nearly broke me, he was so strong willed, such a wild force to be reckoned with, starting school totally changed him though, he is extremely academic and intelligent and now he has focus he's so much better. He never really had tantrums though, just hard work, but he was also that age during Covid which may have impacted.

DD age 2.5yrs is just an angel, so calm, gentle, funny, not a tantrum in sight, also very clever but so sweet. I've never needed reins with either, both have always walked nicely holding hands.

However, mine could turn into the teens from hell! And the little toddler wildlings could turn into the most lovely chilled teens. I don't think mine have anything to do with parenting and is just all their personalities.

MansfieldLark · 27/09/2023 12:22

3 was the worst for me. I absolutely love having a teenager and tweenager. Hated the early years!

waterlego · 27/09/2023 12:24

They’re all different in terms of the challenges they present at different ages, and we as parents are all different in terms of which stages we find easiest to manage! I am a much better parent to teens than I was to toddlers. One of mine was pretty easy as a toddler, while the other was a complete arsehole somewhat challenging at 2-3 years old. I often had to carry her under one arm while she had raging tantrums, pulling my hair and scratching my face. Some days were just one tantrum running into the next. She was great from four onwards. Delightful teenager, slightly tricky patch at 17 but has just turned 18 and is easy again for now. The other one has been consistently pretty easy all the way through. He is 15 now so perhaps he’s saving it all up for his 16th birthday!

During the unreasonable toddler phase, I sometimes felt I had ruined my life. But now I feel wistful when I look at the toddler photos. Would love to snuggle up with a bedtime story again. Rose-tinted specs, I know!

Hang in there OP. Carve out time for yourself as and when you can to exercise or meet friends or sit in a dark and silent room 😬

Star0Fire · 27/09/2023 13:15

I thought I wrote this for a moment !!
My 2yo is the worst! i have these moments where I just think I don't like you you're horrible to me!! (Would never say it out loud) his brother is 4 (5 in dec) and so much easier!! He is autistic but still easier than his little brother. I found the older he got the easier he got (though I swear he wasn't this hard work at 2)
Roll on January when he turns 3 🫣

usernother · 27/09/2023 13:18

2 is a nightmare. 3 a bit better. 4 and 5 are great.

ChilliNoodleGoodness · 27/09/2023 13:21

currently in the throws of a threenager stage. It was way worse than 2s for me

FawltyTower · 27/09/2023 13:23

Anyone else with early teens over here like 👀 🤣🤣

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