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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DS 16 wants to dress as Indiana Jones

33 replies

StunningBombshell · 26/09/2023 07:56

DS 16 has ASD, just started college, making new friends. He has bought a small leather satchel bag, Indiana jones style hat and khaki cargos and some shirts.

He goes to college looking like Indiana Jones. He’s loving how people are commenting on ‘how cool’ he looks. I’m happy he’s happy, but am worried people are laughing at him rather than with him (he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference).

should I just let him get on with it or intervene? WWYD?

OP posts:
daffodilandtulip · 26/09/2023 07:57

I have a 17yo and I feel that kids that age are much kinder than we used to be, don't care so much about looks and fitting in.

Jibo · 26/09/2023 07:58

I'd let him get on with it. Most teenagers have a phase of dressing like a twat. At least he's not a goth!

FetchezLaVache · 26/09/2023 07:59

You let him get on with it. You can't be choosing a 16 yo's clothes for him!!

Teddleshon · 26/09/2023 08:02

I agree that most kids are so much kinder these days, at least in dealing with quirky personalities.

Treebark · 26/09/2023 08:14

I have no advice but my ASD DS likes to wear a very eye catching hat to feel cool. He too adds belt accessories. I think it's a little like a proto-masking, putting on a layer to go out and mix with 'other humans' (literally the phrase DS uses). The fact that donning this layer also reveals so much and makes him vulnerable is something that I'm navigating too

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 26/09/2023 08:16

I would let him get on with it. As PPs say, kids are kinder at that age regarding others dressing atypically. I think its great to see kids acting as individuals rather than dressing the same as everyone else!

Mothership4two · 26/09/2023 08:31

So, other than the hat, he is wearing pretty ordinary, allbeit quite conservative, clothes? I'm sure there will be several other students wearing more flamboyant clothing styles than a fedora hat. It sounds like he has cleverly picked a classic and flattering style with a bit of individuality without being totally 'out there'.

Mind you I am probably biased as I was a teenager when Raiders of the Lost Ark came out and had a humungous crush on 'Indie' that hasn't totally gone away!

Laiste · 26/09/2023 08:39

Bare in mind you're looking at it from the perspective of the generation who instantly knows what Indiana Jones looks like. Teens today haven't grown up with the character being much in mind. I know there'll be some who've seen the films, obvs. but not such a big thing iykwim?

If everyone is being kind so far then don't worry. It IS quite a cool look IMO.

JazbayGrapes · 26/09/2023 08:39

how do you want him to dress?

Laiste · 26/09/2023 08:40

My dear dad was the spit of Harrison Ford as Indiana 😊

Mothership4two · 26/09/2023 08:44

Lucky him and your mum @Laiste!

itsmyp4rty · 26/09/2023 08:51

If he can't tell the difference then maybe it doesn't matter that much even if they do think it's a bit funny? After seeing him everyday like that for a few weeks they probably won't bat an eyelid though. I think at this age you've just got to let him go with it - it could be a lot worse!

janefondofu · 26/09/2023 08:53

I have an ASD student at college that wears about 30 chains, shades and a leather jacket. He gets nothing but good attention and everyone respects it

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 26/09/2023 08:53

It's not that out there. Just draw the line at taking a bull whip to school

honeyandfizz · 26/09/2023 08:56

DS has just left sixth form college and adopted a new style which was completely different to how he used to dress. Driving past the college and seeing the kids around town though it seems anything goes. Where I live the style is quite quirky and the kids seem to just accept anything as a norm. I wouldn't say anything as kids seem more liberal these days.

TiredMamOfTwo · 26/09/2023 08:56

Mine goes to school looking like neo from matrix.

You're fine. Do you remember scene/emo kids from the 00s? I'd rather India jones than that phase again. Grin

SherbetLemonn · 26/09/2023 09:03

Ah let him be. I completely understand the worries but he’s okay. He’s finding his feet and his own style and honestly kids are a lot more accepting and, dar I say, kinder than they were in the past, especially towards neuro diversity. Ime anyway.

Mothership4two · 26/09/2023 09:10

JesusMaryAndJosephAndTheWeeDon · 26/09/2023 08:53

It's not that out there. Just draw the line at taking a bull whip to school

😂

Findyourneutralspace · 26/09/2023 09:24

Mine also has a very distinctive look. He’s just started year 13. It’s a talking point but he’s got lots of friends. I think PP is right about this generation being kinder and more accepting of kids with ND.

Louchelizard · 26/09/2023 09:26

I went to University with someone who wore a bandana for no other reason that it made him noticeable and helped with meeting people. He was the guy with the bandana even if you didn’t know his name. No one was laughing at him, it was just a thing.

Stepbystepfan · 26/09/2023 09:26

I bet he looks fab! I am a massive Indiana Jones fan. Don’t worry, he must be enjoying himself and people who laugh at him are just cruel and would laugh at anyone.

Echobelly · 26/09/2023 09:27

It'll be a fun talking point, I'd say he should go for it.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/09/2023 09:27

Jibo · 26/09/2023 07:58

I'd let him get on with it. Most teenagers have a phase of dressing like a twat. At least he's not a goth!

I was a goth!

IslaWinds · 26/09/2023 09:28

Leave him to it. I see sixth formers in full 1950s vintage looks, some in roaring 1920s Great Gatsby looks. Indiana Jones is a sort of vintage dress style.

IslaWinds · 26/09/2023 09:29

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 26/09/2023 09:27

I was a goth!

I was grunge/punk!