Too hard on son of

[Starfish125]

In a nutshell I've bollocked my 6 year old for telling his sister (DD, 9) that he wishes she wasn't a part of his life because she interrupted a game he was playing on his tablet (Crossy road) they normally say this kind of thing to each other but DD was really upset by it so I blew my top and told him I would be deleting the game off his tablet which obviously upset him. However DH said that DD had been nit picking at him earlier on and now I'm wondering whether she did provoke that reaction to some extent. I now wonder if I was too harsh as I can hear him crying himself to sleep. He's also had a tough time since starting year 2 as they have been made to do a lot of work with most of his peers now crying when going into school and he's told me it's stressful at the moment. AIBU with my reaction to him by what he said to DD? For context me and DH are only children so don't have the experience of sibling fighting we don't know if this is normal behaviour or not.

I think 'im sorry' and a hug will fix this one x

This is totally normal sibling arguing, wait until they are teens the insults will be harsher than that! my two who love each other dearly love to bicker.

Your reaction was an over reaction in my opinion. Saying you would delete the app was harsh.

id have said DS, we don’t speak to people like that, and expected him to have apologised. If he didn’t I’d have removed the tablet for a set period of time. If I had any inkling DD had wound him up she would also have lost something and been told about being kind. She seems to be rather sensitive.

they will argue and sometimes you have to let them sort it out between themselves You can’t referee all the time.

what id say is the bigger issue is kids are going into school crying and you son is saying he is stressed by year 2. I think a chat with the teacher is needed

Aww please go and give him a hug poor little boy. He's 6 yrs old I'm sure he didn't really mean what he said. Siblings argue all the time they find mean what they say especially a 6 yr old.
That's so sad to hear a 6yr old saying school is stressful. He needs a mum hug to settle him for the night and to give him his game back.

Thank u for the reality check, I did go up there afterwards and cuddle him and stroke his hair and he calmed down considerable but I didn't say anything about the app not being cancelled.

I'm going to speak to his teacher tomorrow as when he was crying he also mentioned something to do with library books getting mixed up and how he would get into trouble. I don't want him stressed about school at his age.

I'm surprised siblings are so awful to each other I assumed mine would always get on?

Oh siblings are often hideous to each other! Trust me, what your son said was very much in the shallow end - it can get much darker than that and still be normal.

I found it quite a challenge to identify where I should draw the line between intervention and letting them sort their own bickering out. Obviously you don't want them causing real distress, but if you set yourself up to police all their interactions it will do your head in - and won't help them learn how to navigate conflict.

I had one brother who I fought with constantly. I didn't actually talk to him for about a decade. He's now one of my favourite people, but my childhood would have been a lot better without him in it!

If they normally say this type of thing to each other, you shouldn't only kick off when your DD gets upset by it. You should either tell them off normally, or not at all. Not just because of how she reacted x