To not invite the whole class to a party ???

[ishouldprobablygettherapy]

So my daughter started reception 3 weeks ago. She has about 5 friends there that she plays with daily and gets along with well. 3 of those she went to nursery with last year, and the other 2 she has bonded well with over the last 3 weeks.
Her birthday is in November, she has never had a party before, but we thought since it's her first year at school it would be nice to throw her one, (at a soft play probably) as I know she will be getting invites to her classmates parties over the next few years, and I wouldn't want her to feel left out not having a party. But that aside -
My issue is how many people do we invite ???
There's the typical, send an invite to everyone in the class, and see who responds.. (probably won't be everyone) OR invite her handful of friends only ??
Would I be unreasonable to only invite her 5 friends instead of the whole class ? Or is this frowned upon.
I know somebody will say to exclusively invite the 5, not with invites in school , the issue here is I do not speak to their parents, so it would be difficult to do this.
Please give me your opinions. Thank you !

The other way of looking at it is, you don't have to throw a whole class party every year. So you could bite the bullet and just go for it. Tick it off as a life experience and know that your daughter will get invited to lots of parties. My DD was an absolute party animal at that age and loved every invite she got. It's a small window of time really, when it feels like there are constant parties to attend, but it's lots of fun for the kids and bonds the class. Plus your daughter will probably love having the whole class there for her special day. It's a great feeling for her knowing all those kids have come especially for her! If you can afford to throw a class party, go for it.

I think inviting 5 is fine.

If you did invite the whole class, and have been people not RSVP’ing, I would be clear that anyone who does not RSVP will be assumed as a decline so there won’t be a place reserved for them.

If Op decides to have a whole class party it doesn't necessarily mean others will or ensure more invites for her dd to smaller parties. Op, go with the 5. I'm really not keen on whole class parties as i don't see the point really. Why invite a load of kids your dc probably has little ir ni contact with. Develop their friendships. My ds is older now but from age 3-12 he had parties ranging from 2 kids up to 12 kids. We tailored each party and were able to have fantastic experience parties/cinema/day out dependent on size of group and our son's interests at the time. If we'd invited the whole class we couldn't have done those same things.

We went for a whole class party in reception, just put a bouncy castle in a hall.

We did a full class party last year in my ones first year, largely because our LO hadn't really made any strong 'bonds' other than with one child, but did want a party having been to others. We definately invited the full class and didn't leave out any who hadn't invited ours, and have never been offended about him not being invited to anything. Sometimes he has mentioned others having a party (that he didn't go to) and has never been upset, nor have we been.

If you went for 5 I think that is fine, but contemplate what would happen if 2 let you down on the day, would your child be upset at having 3 children? The one thing I learnt from the full class party is that some people just don't come and apologise after that they forgot, or they say nothing at all... if that happened with a small group it may upset your child? Unless you have some family children coming who may make it not noticeable?

If you did a full class I'd recommend the hall option unless you have a soft play who will hire the place out (some do that at the less popular hours) as paying per person then being let down is a pain! Ours was a hall and it meant zero to us those who didn't come, and the few siblings who turned up that we weren't expecting also just came and we didn't really notice!

If you don't know the parents at all of the 5 it's worth either trying to build a rapport (they then likely won't let you down) or maybe manage expectations in case one or 2 don't come. Hopefully won't happen but the ones where you don't really have much parent to parent relationship sometimes seem to say yes then something else crops up and they just don't come, the parents I know who have had parties have all said it's changed on the day in one way or another!

We did it in Reception thinking ten would come and 22 came at £25 per head.

This year a few birthdays are passing by without any party at all.

We might buck the trend with a whole year group party - not at a soft play though! Got to think of options.

I would go for the whole class party this year, and smaller parties next year onwards. That's what we are doing to do - I wouldn't feel it fair if I took my child to whole-class parties but didn't throw one myself. She might have 5 friends currently but friendship groups can change by the week at that age! We're hired a soft play and will be inviting all of Reception.

Either is fine of they have just started. I tend to do whole class parties when they are young but the number limit is often 20-25. That's fine as lots won't come, there's a few kids that are mean to dd so they don't get invited.

Dd hardly gets invited to any parties. Even neighbours dd on her class doesn't invite her so do whatever is best for you

I think it's fine to invite just a few friends.

Ime people who are going to invite the whole class invite the whole class. They don't faff about working out who has and has not invited their child. One of the advantages of inviting the whole class is not having to do this 😄! So I wouldn't worry about your DD being left out if you don't invite everyone.

Reception, whole class was the norm . DD was one of the last in her year so it was whole class plus a few extras she had become friends with in the other reception class. Ended up about 25 kids, hall, bouncy castle so not a per head cost. I appreciated the efforts of the early birthday pioneers as she goes to wraparound so I didn't get much of a chance to meet other parents.

Y1 gave her the choice but she wanted a specific activity which limited numbers to 15 so more selective. There weren't many whole class ones and she didn't get invited to many boys parties.

We'll see what Y2 brings but most are talking about smaller groups for an organised activity.

I was in this exact situation also. My dd is in year 2 and only now have decided to throw her a big party and came to the decision to invite the whole class and to be honest not that many can make it and that way I have left anyone out. I also felt if I only invited a handful, kids might bring it up and make it awkward and uncomfortable for her and for me with the parents. So with that, I'd say invite the class

Most people round here tend to do a full class party in reception, but often they’re shared between a few children with birthdays close together to help with the cost. Whole class parties are a good way to get to know the other parents too if that’s important to you. Otherwise, sometimes people invite just all the girls/boys depending on the birthday child.

DD birthday party is this coming Saturday soft play in the Leisure Centre she will be 5 and also started reception in September. We invited all her class 23 of them and 9 friends from outside of school. We decided to invite the entire class to get to know more parents and I wouldn't want my daughter to be left out from a party at this age because they don't really understand why they weren't invited.

I think it's fine to invite 5. As others have said it's worse to invite everyone besides a few people etc. I don't think it will stop her being invited to (most) the all class parties.

Whole class party for a 5 year old - realistically - you’ve no idea which of her friendships will go the distance. Clique parties of 5 is for when they are much older. What you’re outlining re: 5 guests is a gathering, not a party.

My youngest has just started reception, birthday mid October. I just asked the teacher which friends he'd been playing with (he can't remember anyone's names), she came back with 6 names, so 6 invites it was.

Less than half is fine. My dc would've found a whole class party overwhelming in Reception - they are lovely but not what suits all kids.

I'm finding that the parents that did whole class parties with their first DC in R/Y1 are now fine doing smaller ones with their younger DC in R/Y1!

There's usually minium numbers needed to book a soft play, arcade etc for a party. Normally 10. If you have 5 for example you'll have to pay for 10 unless you book it normally.

We have never had a class party. Even in reception. I was going to bite the bullet and invite the whole class but dc said categorically who he didn't want at the party, because Bobby was a biter, Tommy snatches toys and doesnt share, Susie only likes to play with Bella, Johnny is naughty etc etc

We've had a max of 15 of friends from clubs, class and family friends depending on the year. As an adult I'm not friends with my entire work place nor would I invite them all to a party. Children should be allowed to voice who they would like at their parties and as friends.

Fuck the over sensitive bitchy parents. You'll always end up pissing someone off regardless if their not invited or are. From whether you allow siblings or the fact that you've not catered to Johnny's special diet of sausage rolls and prawn cocktail crisps or you've given too much plastic tat and haribo in the fuck off bags goodie bags.

Let her have the party she wants. She will develop relationships naturally.

5 people is fine unless it's a class of 7 kids.

As someone else said, do check whether the soft play has a minimum number for a party package. Of course, you can always go to the soft play not on the party package, and go back to your house for the tea and cake.
(You might be lucky: I rang a bowling alley and said that we weren't bringing enough children for the "party package", but would it be okay to bring a birthday cake with us. They were fine about it, and let us light the candles having checked we weren't near a smoke detector.)

For a small party, party games/craft kits at home are not too stressful - it's worth considering, and save the soft play money for next year.

I’d say the opposite- friendships are often made at class parties this early on. My DS bonded with his now best friend who he hadn’t really spoken to before on the bus on the way home from a class party early on in the school year.

If there’s five in the group that’s perfect and the other parents will be relieved you haven’t set precedent for whole class parties! My kids have each had one whole class party and two of the four were nightmares, had to deal with exclusion and kids being miserable. The other two went fine but definitely not close to small parties!

Do what suits your budget, your energy levels, your stress levels and most of all your individual child.

None of mine ever had a class party. (All managed to make friends and be happy in school). I think that many children all in full on hyped up party mode is really challenging for a lot of children, but if you particularly want to, then knock yourself out.
Just don't feel you have to.

As has already been said, as long as you don't invite 27 or 28 children and leave one or two out, then you can invite however many you think your dd would like to invite, if you can cope with entertaining / looking after them.

It's kind of standard to invite all 30
To a village hall

That's how parents get to know each other

Either the whole class or just the 5 is fine. What you don't want to do is invite 12 out of 15 (for example).

Just invite the 5 outside of school (ie WhatsApp their mums) and send in a tray of cakes to give out in school for the rest.