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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell my boss how unreasonable his comments are

29 replies

Cluelessat33 · 25/09/2023 17:29

I've posted about my boss on here before. Over the last 8 years I've dealt with some pretty unreasonable behaviour. Constant critical and unpleasant comments, often in public. He picks apart and corrects my work constantly (think criticising me for using single spacing, kind of level). He's once threatened me with disciplinary action for something I didn't do. At one point I was put under investigation for gross misconduct with some team members, again for something I didn't do, and after one meeting with HR, it was thrown out and we were told it should never have been brought to them.

He is often critical in front of other people. Or makes 'joke' remarks which are pretty critical and unnecessary in leadership meetings. My performance reviews are always excellent. I've never (other than the two examples which were unfounded above) had my conduct questioned. I'm a hard worker, I go above and beyond because I feel passionately about what I do, despite the challenging working environment.

He is leaving soon. Thankfully. But today once again he made a comment in our leadership meeting which quite clearly implied I'm often slacking. He said afterwards it was a joke, but at a time when I'm doing more than one person's job on part time hours, and feel stressed about the number of plates I'm spinning, the comment hit a very raw spot.

Would I be unreasonable to use him leaving as an opportunity to tell him how demoralising I have found his comments over the years, particularly at time when he knows I'm under significant pressure. I believe his public putting downs have lead to another male colleague doing the same, something I will be putting a forceful stop to me, as he is a lower grade to me. Or should I just leave it as he's leaving and there is no point.

OP posts:
muddlingthrou · 01/04/2024 07:16

Who uses anything by but single spacing these days? What a dinosaur!

OP, I'd tread carefully as I suspect someone this petty could go out of their way to retaliate if you're honest. You'll be free soon!

muddlingthrou · 01/04/2024 07:17

Damn, I also fell for the zombie thread 🤣

EatCrow · 01/04/2024 07:19

QuestionableMouse · 25/09/2023 18:12

Write it in his leaving card!

Do this! In fact, write your own card with a bold “Fuck off and good riddance” will do nicely.

EatCrow · 01/04/2024 07:19

muddlingthrou · 01/04/2024 07:17

Damn, I also fell for the zombie thread 🤣

Oops, me too!

Hope the OP is happy in her job now.

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