I've just been berated by the school secretary

[UnquietDad]

Well, admonished anyway - for allegedly not keeping phone contact details up to date. (When she couldn't get hold of me she tried DW and got old work number and old mobile.) "It is important, you know....." Yes, I know...grr...

The thing is, we have two children at the school. And we did send in our new contact details - on the form we filled in when DS started this year in Reception.

But as it was DD (Y3) I was being asked to go and collect, they obviously took the numbers from her form which still had the old details on.

So... is it my fault if they haven't cross-checked and amended DD's as well?

You tend to assume that if you've sent a piece of information into school, it's in, and that you don't have to send it again.

Er I'm a school secretary and I'll ignore the derogatory comments You grow a thick skin after a while.

At our school the contacts aren't computerised - mainly because not all staff have immediate access to a computer and the details may be needed in an emergency. They are organised in classes. Personally I would have checked the sibling details and therefore would have been able to get hold of you UQD.

However just today I have had to write to two parents who were uncontactable - one as an emergency following a playground injury, one for a sick child who spent the afternoon sat in the school office (so the sickness bug he has I'll probably have in a couple of days). That's two mobile numbers unobtainable and an old works number for one child and two mobile numbers for the other, the other number was for gran who lives 5 miles away and doesn't drive, bless her she did say she'd come over on the bus if absoltely necessary; she gave me another mobile number which, guess what? switched off. Some parents just don't inform school and often give the impression that whilst the child is with us they don't want to be contacted in any circumstances.

The secretaries and office staff at DS's school are marvels of tact, efficiency and kindness!

I do not see that they should automatically assume that a new form for a new Reception class child should have details which need updating for another child unless someone tells them!

UQD - yanbu. The form should have room for you to mention the names of all your dc at the school. Sounds like badly designed form if it doesn't and that's not your fault.

If you gave updated info it is up to the school to file it so that it is accessible to them. You should not have to give the same info more than once, no matter how many children.

The school sec does not understand this, and therefore wants to blame some one.

I daresay you won't be speaking to me when you look on Amazon tomorrow and see what I've said about your book though. Still, there's only one thing worse than a bad review - no review.

book review hijack: Sorry you were lukewarm about it. can't please everyone. (But I think what you call the "must-have" lifestyle and the shallowness is part of the point, surely? It's all set up to be undercut.)

You mean I was meant to see them as shallow?
Don't quite know what you mean by undercut.
I think you might be allowed to hijack your own thread, anyway.

Just throwing something into the mix:

What about divorced couples who each have custody of one child?

I know of one in such situation in dd's year at school.

The contact numbers would be completely different for each child.

Well, I mean the first half was, to some degree, setting them up for a fall. Hence all the sex'n'shopping brand-name checking. etc. But maybe you just didn't like them, which is fair enough!

Yes I see that, but after the fall they both became even more selfish and then suddenly through pure chance seemed to land on their feet in the end. But there were some clever plot twists in an exciting car-chase sort of way, which were entertaining if you crossed your fingers and tried to believe 6 impossible things before breakfast. Also, have you been in any tough schools recently? Or indeed ever? Perhaps we should continue this conversation privately (you have my email) if you'd like me to rip your prose style to bits, in the spirit of encouraging a promising young writer ...(young compared to me that is).

Sorry , I think yabu.
It is your responsibility to keep the details up to date.
You cannot assume that other people will investigate or cross reference details on your behalf and to be honest neither should they. One record/one child should be the norm.
I am a stepmum and at first SS stayed with me and his father , sd stayed with her mother.
Hubby`s ex - wife did not update the school records for SD when they moved away. Sd was in an accident at school and so they contacted me . Ex wife went absolutely mad - unfairly in my opinion - how on earth was the poor secretary supposed to know how to manage the situation? They assumed it would be ok to call me as that was on SS records ...

email me again, elasticwoman, I can't find it

Have emailed you UQD.