Jobs that fit around kids

[MyDogsPaws]

Aibu ti think it’s impossible to find a job that is workable with kids? Especially if they have health issues.

ex partner refuses to provide any kind of childcare for our 3 kids though the week. Since we separated I have finished my degree and immediately got a great job but unfortunately had to give it up after 4 months as it involved Working nights occasionally and ex p wouldn’t have kids, it was quite flexible with days though which was ideal as I could swap days around when kids were sick.

Since then I found another job which was zero hours contract, initially I thought this would be fine because I could just not work the days my kids were sick but all that happened was they stopped offering me shifts because I was unreliable after my dd had several hospitalisations in a short period.

Now I have been working self employed for around a year and again initially thought this would be flexible and I could take time off if needed but it’s not worked out that way, my clients rely on me and taking days off at short notice is a complete nightmare. 2 of my kids just have the normal kids bugs/ virus type things a few times a year but my dd is asthmatic and is regularly in hospital for 3-5 days at a time. Since being self employed I’ve ended up having to take my kids to work with me when they are really unwell, including having to take my dd to work outside in the cold the day she was discharged from hospital.

Tonight my kids have just come home from spending the weekend with their dad youngest has a high temp and dd is also unwell and will probably end up hospitalised before the end of the week. Was already super stressed with the upcoming strikes and the thought of having to take all 3 kids to work with me but now I will probably either be in hospital with my dd or dragging sick kids to work outside.

I’m just so sick of this dread and stress every time the schools are closed or one of them is sick. I would love to know how other single parents, especially with a child with health issues manage work and the kind of jobs you do that allow you to work around hospital stays. Ideally I need a job that is purely online and requires little human contact so if can be done any time if the day or night so I can work when my dd is in hospital asleep so if anyone can suggest where I can find a job like that I would appreciate it!

It would depend on your skills and interests I suppose. I am a bid writer. It’s very boring if I’m honest but very flexible. Wfh etc. as long as the work is done in deadline it’s fine. When my oldest is sick I can generally work still with him in front of telly (he’s 5) or pick up a few hours of an evening. Not so much with youngest (2) as she just wants to play with my laptop.
it helps my line manager has 3 under 6yrs so very flexible and understanding

Straight up employment with a large corporate might be your best bet, purely because they often have policies for people in difficult situations like yours. there's often at least 25 days paid leave plus bank hols, its not unusual to be able to buy 5 or so extra days leave, and there may be a possibility of (for example) unpaid leave (or even paid leave) in a crisis situation.

Is your DD under a specialist for the asthma? It sounds pretty badly controlled if she's having so many hospital stays. 3-5 days is long.

I work in a school, less money but fits in great around my children

Also if you work part time in a large corporate there's often flexibility, eg say you usually work mon-weds, but child is hospitalised mon/tues, they may let you make up the time working weds- fri depending on the job.

I think this is why school is seen as the ideal, altho obv depends how start and end times clash.
Honestly tho I think the main thing is to push the Drs. If she's regularly spending half a week in hospital she must be missing tons of time off school too.
You can only do your best. Is there a way to scale back work so you need to complete fewer hours a week even if it means having some benefit support for a short while

Her asthma is badly controlled and always has been, there seems to be no way of getting on top of if because she only has problems when she has a virus and no issues the rest if the time. Her immune system seems poor to me because she gets about 8 cold Type viruses a year and is hospitalised almost every time. She is under a consultant but they seem to think this is all fine because she doesn’t wheeze the rest of the time, they keep saying she will grow out if it but it’s shit for her, she’s 8 now and missed so much school and other things. On the other hand her consultant is adamant that she doesn’t need other meds because of the lack of regular wheeze, at the moment I feel like I’m stuck between the stress of missing work all the time or having to push for meds that could potentially have long term side affects for dd just so I can work.

I have applied for a couple of school admin jobs but I don’t really have any experience in that area. I’ve thought about using my degree to get a teaching qualification but they would still take years and I definitely wouldn’t be able to take days and days off all the time as a teacher.

Mg degree is in ecology/conservation science type area and something I could do from home that was maybe related to GIS mapping or similar would be ideal for me but everything either requires a lot of experience or is office based! I have been applying for jobs in supermarkets etc even though it would be a lot less income maybe it wouldn’t be bad to have to take a lot of days off in that kind of role!

Sorry OP, no help to you whatsoever, but:

Can we just take a moment to consider that what's being asked for here is a job that can be done WHILE A SICK CHILD IS ASLEEP, IN HOSPITAL??!

This is absolutely in no way a criticism of you OP. I'm struggling with kids and work and I get it. But (a question posed to readers rather than you personally) at what point do we just acknowledge that the whole system / economy is completely fucked (unless you're rich)?

It's utter madness. No one can keep up. Everyone's exhausted. Kids are fraught. And meanwhile a handful of people are making a mint out of our misery.

It massively boils my piss.

I'm sorry you're in this situation OP. I hope your little one is OK. I can't offer a practical solution but I find solidarity helps.

I feel like the main issue here is the fact that OP's ex refuses to parent his own children or at least, will only take them when it's convenient to him. OP wouldn't have lost her initial job if he actually looked after his children.

But he didn't actually look after his children, and this is the position OP finds herself in. So what should happen then?

Finding a job you can do from beside your sick child's hospital bed should not be a thing. I despair.

I'm in a similar situation so I don't have good advice but will be looking at the other comments for ideas. I mainly wanted to comment that if you do have DD outside, cold air is a major asthma trigger, so make sure she wears something over her neck, nose and mouth. I have this issue- I wear a knitted scarf I can still breathe through, and a cloth style covid mask also works. I also wear the mask when it's windy as the dust and dirt in the air are triggers. You probably already know this but I thought maybe if you didn't it might help avoid a hospital stay. I hope you find a good solution for work, I know how hard it is! I'm at the end of my rope and terrified, but I've always figured things out before so I know I can again as you will!

Do what women are often left to do because they have no choice, especially when men refuse to parent their own children and scramble around until she can get something.

I agree that it shouldn't be a thing and that the system is fucked up. Men who refuse to parent their own children also shouldn't be a thing.

Actually I do have an idea- what I do is go on the online job boards and search "remote" and then look at what I'm qualified for, or could pick up quickly. Anything entry level is likely to be easy to get. Some jobs have night shifts or flexible. It might work for something temporary while you figure things out.

There are a small number of companies around (like mine) that offer opportunities to work from home undertaking admin work. Our work is mainly low-level data transfers in the education sector, but there are others that offer typing and virtual office type jobs that will work around your family circumstances. Have you thought about reaching out to a temp agency? Our staff log on at a time that best suits them, but I realise that not all employers can be that flexible.