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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Changing weekend CAO

7 replies

treesflowersandbreathe · 24/09/2023 20:20

Have a CAO where kids see their dad every other weekend Friday and Saturday, and then half holidays, his choice, he doesn't want more. It was domestic abuse and so communication is kept to a court ordered app. Recently he's not turned up for contact with very little notice and let the children down quite a few times. There's nothing I can do in this situation as you can't force a dad to see their children, not even the court can, I just make them available at those times for him and if he chooses not to see them then that's that.

What I don't know is what could happen to me as the RP if I change a weekend around - don't make children available but make them available a different weekend. I've contacted him 3 times and NRP is not replying, but has told child it's not happening. What is the worst case scenario if I don't make them available for that specific weekend but instead suggest another one straight after? He is always threatening to take me back to court, and as it was domestic abuse the children have become the last remaining power and control method. If I give due warning and highlight the reasons I'm just wondering if anyone knows. He has a lot of money and can afford court, I can't, this is another threat he has over me. I would represent myself so not really a problem I guess but its the worry of getting a fine from the court more than anything, I've never had to switch before and its very much a one off. I have already asked twice but he hasn't replied and the previous two options of weekends to change to have now passed. There is a very good reason, my child wants to change it too, and it's directly related to my child so it is child-centred. Will, or can, the court do anything to me? Thank you.

OP posts:
treesflowersandbreathe · 25/09/2023 12:06

anyone have an opinion on this?

OP posts:
Backagain23 · 25/09/2023 12:11

My opinion is that you should do what's right for your child. They should not miss out on a thing just because their DNA donor is a thundering wankbadger.
Document everything, all the dates, all the let downs, gather the evidence. Then you and your children live your lives and let him do what he wants.

LifeInTheGrass · 25/09/2023 12:13

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Starlightstarbright2 · 25/09/2023 12:17

Just keep all the evidence you have asked . Does he usually collect from school ? I would ask to collect early - or ensure you aren’t home at time of collection .

treesflowersandbreathe · 25/09/2023 12:19

@Backagain23 hahahaha thanks for that!!

OP posts:
youveturnedupwelldone · 25/09/2023 12:35

What backagain23 said, plus if you have his number change his name to "thundering wankbadger" on your phone.

treesflowersandbreathe · 25/09/2023 13:31

@youveturnedupwelldone hahahaha, great idea, doing it now!!! hahahaha

OP posts:
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